Seeing Wide Open Spaces

I sat down to write a blog post today on a completely different topic.  Instead I wrote this post – a sort of “where am I and where am I going” because I checked my drafts file and found this short post – written 6 months ago and yet unpublished:

Happy July (at least in New Zealand)

I just turned the page in my calendar to find a blank sheet.  No meetings, no commitments, no deadlines and no travel.  An entire month to create.

With two extremely successful art shows behind me I am excited to see what will come next in the studio.

It is a gift to myself to say No to all of the distractions that were available this month so I could say Yes to my journey as an artist.

Unfortunately – that is not what happened.   While I did complete some older Artwork in the Studio in July, I did not start new work I dreamed of.  

I was distracted.

Distracted by my 100 Days Project. 

As I wrote last week – in the end this project had a good outcome because it helped me create a more solid sketching habit. And it is the last time I will do a 100 day project (for the foreseeable future) because it is a distraction.  An excuse. 

My bigger goal is to create a new larger serious body of artwork.  Not yet another grid of 100 small paintings that I can group together and sell separately.  Been there, done that.

A Pattern of Distraction

I wish I could say this is a rare occurrence – getting distracted from starting big new work by some less important project – but it feels like a recurring problem I’ve been facing for some time.

Its that familiar “After I do _____ THEN I can do _____” pattern.

Things like:

• “After I get back from vacation THEN I can settle down and work in the studio.”
• “After I finish this 100 day art project  THEN I can dig in and do some serious work on my new series.”

Theme art shows, juried art shows, 100 day projects, that baby quilt I promised, that textile painting I started 5 years ago and never finished, etc – they are all great excuses for things I need to do before I get to more serious work in the studio.

I was determined for 2018 to be a year of serious studio work and I’m sad to say that looking back it has not been what I had hoped.   Because of the choices I made.

Speed Bumps

In the past I used upcoming solo exhibitions as the carrot to get me to the studio and creating serious artwork. My last solo show was in 2016.

Now that I am in New Zealand, I’ve not put much effort into securing solo exhibitions.  Essentially I’ve gotten lazy.  Well not lazy – probably scared – new country – new relationships need to be built.  Its work.

I connected with a group of artists that wanted to do group exhibits, which was all fine and good until I realized I was going backwards in my art career. 

While there is nothing wrong with group exhibitions in libraries and smaller spaces, I’ve paid those dues and I’m not interested in doing it again.  It doesn’t stretch me as an artist. 

The value in doing those sorts of shows is learning how to do those shows.   I’ve already learned that.  And as much fun as hanging out with others might be – it makes it too easy to ignore my own career. 

The other speed bump I ran into was to jump into the Weekend Art show circuit here in NZ.  I’ve been quite successful as these shows are  really quite good here.  Lots of sales.  Great contacts. 

And I find that I’m not really pushing myself for these exhibitions the same way I do for a solo show in a gallery.   Making art for sale is not the same as making the artwork I want to make.  

Not that the work I am making isn’t good – it is.  I have made some new exciting work with my mark making – it’s just not enough. 

Problem is – the new work I do have around is few and far between and disjointed. I’ve sold a very large percent of the new work I’ve made the last few years.  And I have simply not made enough artwork.

Which means I do not have a new large body of work that I can exhibit at the moment.

Taking Advantage of the Open Road

So here I am looking at 2019 and there is a lot of open road.  Actually there is as much open road as I choose for there to be.

And I am choosing a LOT of open road.  I have decided to forego all themed shows, group shows, juried shows, exhibiting in small galleries, open studio events etc in 2019.  And I will only do at most 1 of the NZ weekend art shows.  Although I’m still on the fence about that. 

I will do none of the shows that require travel and being away from home.   This means losing some of my deposit money, which is preferable to losing my focus.

One of the big advantages to pulling back is the reduced risk of over exposure of my artwork in sub-par venues in a very small country.  Which is an entirely different topic.

For now, I’m looking forward to seeing where this road leads.