Sometimes I kind of wish I didn't make all the moves I did in my Relationship. I don't have any regrets about things but I kind of see that those actions didn't really get me what I need now. I have a relationship with someone I care for, Love and respect but at the same time, I'm missing that romance, that feeling of being wanted and pursued. And I think that I love Dan as much as I possibly could but in a way, I don't think so.
That element of a relationship adds something to a girl and when it's missing I think it takes away just as much. I feel like I'm kind of lying to him, and myself, in a way, by just setting my worries aside about this. But I love being with him and I love being in love almost too much to admit it to either of us. It scares me because I don't want to prolong this if it doesn't have what it takes, if he doesn't love me enough to change it or if maybe he can't.
The thing is I never realized it until I told Angelo no more lovey emails, no more compliments, no more emails that talk about a future, nothing that a boyfriend would write to me. Now that it's gone, I miss it so much. I don't really know what I should do. I feel like I expect too much, that I nag too often, that I'm hurting his confidence. I don't want to screw him up for his next relationship; I don't want him to think he has to change who he is to make someone happy because I don't believe that either.
This stuff is hard and the only thing I really know out of everything is that I love him. Ohh what to do, what to do...
That element of a relationship adds something to a girl and when it's missing I think it takes away just as much. I feel like I'm kind of lying to him, and myself, in a way, by just setting my worries aside about this. But I love being with him and I love being in love almost too much to admit it to either of us. It scares me because I don't want to prolong this if it doesn't have what it takes, if he doesn't love me enough to change it or if maybe he can't.
The thing is I never realized it until I told Angelo no more lovey emails, no more compliments, no more emails that talk about a future, nothing that a boyfriend would write to me. Now that it's gone, I miss it so much. I don't really know what I should do. I feel like I expect too much, that I nag too often, that I'm hurting his confidence. I don't want to screw him up for his next relationship; I don't want him to think he has to change who he is to make someone happy because I don't believe that either.
This stuff is hard and the only thing I really know out of everything is that I love him. Ohh what to do, what to do...
This post first appeared on An Outlet For My Thoughts...how Nice...another Rem, please read the originial post: here
