No sense beating around the bush—I’m shutting down this website and moving on to do other things. I’ve been weighing moving on since December 2019 when some family emergency stuff made running a site like this seem kind of small, but I’m too stubborn for my own good. It’s the sunk cost fallacy; once you spend enough time working on something, it becomes hard to walk away because doing so means throwing away all of that previous work. And I’ve certainly put in a lot of work. I’ve been running this site since March 2012, which means that I’ve kept it going for around a third of my entire life at this point. I’ve poured time, money, and effort into keeping this site up that would have been better utilized elsewhere.
This paragraph is reflective (and an excuse to use the phrase “curb stomp” one last time)
That doesn’t mean that I haven’t gotten anything out of the experience, of course. When I was in first grade, I consumed Nintendo Power voraciously and the only thing I wanted to be was a game reviewer. Making that happen was cool. I’ve also managed to lose a lot of respect for basically everyone and learn the art of withering criticism. Back when I first started this site, I was far too deferential to people (both in my critiques and in real life), and now I have no problem curb stomping the self-esteem of terrible people. I’ve also gotten better at understanding the things that I like and don’t like. Liking and disliking things is easy, but figuring out the underlying reasons for your preferences and vocalizing them quickly gets dicey.
This paragraph is revealing and references a movie I’ve never actually seen
When I started out, written game reviews were pretty terrible. I wanted to do better. Reviews have improved since 2012, though, while ad revenue is significantly worse. Speaking of which: did you know that killapenguin.com uses ads? Yep. If you find this place through a search engine, you’ll access a special AMP version of the page that has a bunch of ads on it. That way, regular readers see no ads while people just popping in once have to deal with them. That felt fair. Another thing that felt fair was avoiding luring in writers with the promise of “exposure.” That’s bullshit, period. It’s also one of the best ways to grow. This is pretty much the crossroad I’ve found myself at—growing faster is required to justify the resources I’ve put into this place, but doing so would require becoming everything that I hate about the industry. I’d rather bid you all adios and Old Yeller this bitch.
This paragraph is bitter and angry because this sucks and I hate it
And speaking of the industry… what the hell are all of you even doing? The other day, I got an ad that was basically “you obviously like games, so clearly you want to know about all of these esports people who you must already know about and worship,” and it looked like a class of cocky 8th graders. Freemium trash is out of control, too, and infesting more and more paid games. Meanwhile, the few people making genuinely interesting games can’t get the same amount of attention as those fucking 8th graders. And you know what feels awful? Running a site instead of a Youtube channel and not being able to help because serving up controversial hot takes is sustainable and reviews aren’t. Clickbait exists because it works.
This paragraph is one weird trick to lose belly fat
Fun example: back when I reviewed Shadows: Awakening, I made some dumb mistakes and assumptions because I didn’t get access to the game before its release (and there’s a small window of about 1-2 weeks where reviews get big clicks) and was hardcore rushing. Guess what game has earned me the most backlinks and traffic from angry fans? It kind of reminds me of the way social media works nowadays, where many people post divisive content to create walled gardens that manufacture outrage. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but if you want to earn clicks, fill a squirt gun with vinegar and wait for the flies to get pissed off enough that they come to you. There are a lot of people doing that. I’d rather not.
This paragraph is considering the future, assuming that we don’t all die to an asteroid
I’ll still have access to my Youtube channels, though the main Killa Penguin channel has always been a dumping ground for unlisted videos to embed in reviews. That one probably won’t be updated. The other channel, Killa Penguin Gaming, is a super scattered, whatever-the-hell-I-feel-like-posting channel, and I’ll probably shift my focus to that one for games I work through in my free time. Who knows? Maybe I’ll become a full-blown Youtuber. Hit the bell and subscribe! Smash that like button like a drunken conquest! Get into an internet fight about politics in the comment section so that we can trick the mighty algorithm into thinking that everyone needs my videos recommended to them! I’d certainly love the opportunity to acquire some social media power and use it to lash out at the bad actors in this industry who have made running this site a nightmare all these years.
These paragraphs are naming companies that suck and ones that don’t
But I have other priorities right now that don’t involve lashing out at
Xbox has been pretty cool, too, even if getting keys from them requires going through the colosseum that is “Keymailer as an editorial website.” The only thing I’ve ever redeemed from them is my Game Pass sub that expires at some point in the next month, but they actually sent me Gears Tactics, too. The key expired because they sent it during my 2020 move and I didn’t want to redeem it until I had everything set up and was confident that it still worked. Let’s see, let’s see… DANGEN Entertainment is another great publisher that hasn’t given me any trouble over the years. Same with Sometimes You, who may have the fastest-responding team in the industry. Mostly, though, I’ve had a lot of “okayish” experiences. There have been some really good ones with smaller developers, but even those good ones have always felt a little bittersweet, knowing that the industry was essentially built on the bones and broken dreams of such devs. Games aren’t a meritocracy. Shmoozing jerks regularly outrank passion and quality.
These paragraphs are a list of regrets, and also a regret Nintendo should have
There are all sorts of things that I wish I had found the time to do. I never covered a Prince of Persia game. Not even Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, which is one of my all-time favorites. I even purchased both the Wii and PC versions of Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands, which are two totally different games. That could have been fun. I also never found the time to cover Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII. I own it. I’ve owned it forever. I’ve only ever used it for header images on posts with bad news. That was always funny to me for some reason. Actually, I take it back—my favorite thing about running this site was never bothering to cover Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII. I do regret never covering emulated Japan-only games. Attempts to win over Nintendo by (largely) avoiding emulator talk failed big time, and I should have found an excuse to play through Radical Dreamers, the original Star Ocean, Bahamut Lagoon, and Fire Emblem 4 – Fire Emblem 6 (and also 12, which I’ve somehow never played).
Mostly, though, I regret that Nintendo never remastered Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn for the Switch so that I could have an excuse to replay them. That one’s not on me. It’s Nintendo’s fault. I’ve emailed them, but I’m pretty sure they auto-delete my emails. It seems so goddamned obvious; they’re the best games in the series with virtually no copies floating out there, they don’t use motion controls (and the Wii version does support the Gamecube controller), and even just bumping the resolution a bit would make the art shine. Nintendo is a fucking idiot. I’m going to be so pissed off if they release remasters a month after this site disappears. Still, I’ll buy it anyway and do a full playthrough on Youtube.
These paragraphs are just a simple farewell to the people who made this fun
Anyway, I’ve rambled enough. If you have any questions or would like to write me into your will before you go bungee jumping, you can always hit me up at my old email, [email protected]. The normal @killapenguin.com email will obviously disappear into the ether with the site.
Have a good one, readers. Thanks for the kind emails and such over the years. The site will go down at some point before the end of November.
-Jake Arias
This is the end first appeared on Killa Penguin
