Why should I write an email ‘in my own words’, make a phone call, take a selfie or whatever else it is you want me to do for the animals? Let me tell you this: there are hundreds of organisations that help animals and since I love animals, I try to help as many as I can. Explain to me why I should pick only you, with the stupid naked women, over all the others? When I have, at best, a minute or two for each petition?

Just ask me to sign a petition, that’s all I have time for. I’d be happy to do it. OK?