Probably the best Movie about a guy who’s on a fantastical adventure so he can have sex with a princess. That’s it. That’s his goal. Yeah, I suppose he grows to care about the fate of the kingdom and avenging his father or whatever. But it’s mostly to get laid.

The movie begins with the death of King Richard at the hands of the power-hungry King Cromwell.

Cromwell resurrected Xusia, an evil sorcerer whose help he needed to kill King Richard.

Only he realized later that he probably didn’t need Xusia’s help and tries to kill him. He probably could’ve saved himself some trouble by making that decision earlier.

And if you can’t tell, that’s Richard Moll, or Bull from Night Court.

Years later, King Richard’s son Talon has become the leader of a group of mercenaries (including the bald guy from Murphy Brown). He accepts a mission from Princess Alana to rescue her captured brother Prince Mikah, because in doing so he’ll get laid.

Also, he’s got a sword made up of 3 blades, two of which can be shot out as a projectile. Yeah, it’s pretty weird, but still cool.

There’s a lot of action in the movie, with Talon facing hoards of generic evil soldiers. It’s not terribly original stuff, but it doesn’t have to be.

It’s a fun movie, which fans of stuff like Conan the Barbarian will enjoy. It’s got swords. It’s got sorcerers. It’s got dungeons. It’s got dragons.

Okay, three out of four.

An interesting thing to note is that it says in the credits to expect the upcoming Tales of an Ancient Empire. Which came out 18 years later. I guess it’s the Duke Nukem Forever of movies.

Buy the movie on Amazon