Like most fashion trends it started with Marc Jacobs.
He and Beyonce wore nearly identical see-through, um, looks to the Met Gala. It was like that 90210 episode where Kelly and Brenda wear the same dress to the Spring Fling. Except uglier. Waaaay uglier.
I think Marc was just being Marc: tongue-in-cheek, provocative, avant-garde and anti-tuxedo boring. Beyonce, however, was dead serious about that slutty muppet of a dress.
Believe me, I wanted to like it because I like her. But from every angle, it just looked like a trail of feathered after-birth. Yuck.
I wanted to scream: "I GET IT, BEY! You just had a baby. Yes, your body is bootylicious. You run the world. But WHY must you try to flash where that baby made its escape at ME?"
I was appalled to see her end up on so many best dressed lists for the night and Marc on the worst dressed ones. IT'S BASICALLY THE SAME LOOK, people!
Those barely-there dresses got Marc and Beyonce so much media coverage (pun intended) that this week Kristen Stewart's people made her pick up the crazy baton with this Marchesa madness. My first thought: "FINALLY, the perfect way to accentuate your ovaries!" Yuck. Hate everything about this look but mostly hated how it was wearing her.
Couldn't believe my big judgmental eyes when Charlize Theron wore yet ANOTHER loco see-through dress. To the same premiere as Kristen no less! I think Charlize is one of the most perfect looking women on the planet so the illusion of nudity on her offends me less. But still, what ever happened to leaving SOMETHING to the imagination? I mean I can see the outline of everything that isn't being flashed at my eyeballs.
Maybe I'm just getting old and prudish and fat but I think some trends should stay on the runway.
Maybe I'm just getting old and prudish and fat but I think some trends should stay on the runway.
Plus, I thought the era of flashing your coochie for attention was over. But I guess Britney is about to make her comeback. God help all our coochies.
Rant over because I don't hate this spring's peek-a-boo trend completely. Here are some recent looks that I've loved. They prove you can flash a little something-something while keeping it classy, San Diego.
Rant over because I don't hate this spring's peek-a-boo trend completely. Here are some recent looks that I've loved. They prove you can flash a little something-something while keeping it classy, San Diego.
p.s. For all you fellow Bravo fans, all I could think about while writing this rant was Andy Cohen coining "nude illusion" dresses on his WWHL talk show last year. That cross-eyed genius is always ahead of his time
