Review by Cavan Gilbey
I think we all knew that this series couldn’t last forever but seeing it come to an end still feels a bit surreal. The Diary of River Song has been one of my favourite Big Finish spin-off series, actually doing the impossible job of getting me to really like River Song; a character I ended up loathing on television by the time she was playing a prominent role in the Matt Smith era. But the The Orphan Quartet feels like an appropriate end, especially with how each writer uses the theme of grief and acceptance to explore River finally coming to terms with losing her husband and parents. I don’t think this is by any means the most consistent, or even best boxset in the series, but it certainly feels like the most appropriate way to send of River Song’s solo series. I expect we’ll see her again in the future, but for now this is the end.
The first Story in the set is the classic styled base-under-siege story The Excise Men by Lou Morgan, and honestly this is by far the weakest story of the set so its lucky we get this one out of the way first. I think the initial set up we have for this story is fairly unique, the BUS stories are usually centred on present day or future environments so seeing it transposed to a more historical setting could lead to something more interesting as you could really lean into a folklore or superstition angle. However, Morgan doesn’t do that with their script. I’ve noticed this a lot with Morgan’s writing where she has a great grasp on an interesting central concept, here we have future beings feeding on the potential from doomed souls, but the execution is just so ordinary. What is equally frustrating is that River doesn’t feel like she has an impact on the story, she doesn’t help drive the development of the side cast and it is the ouroboros paradox used to defeat the Excise Men that drives home how superfluous River is this episode. As a result, Alex Kingston’s performance ends up being quite muted, which is a shame since her liveliness is usually the main draw to main of the stories because of Kingston manages to inject a layer of tragedy underneath the flirty smiles. Derek Elroy is the clear standout here as the sinister and slimy agent for the Excise Men, although I did also like the vulnerability that fades away into strength that was present in Jade Matthew’s performance as the young barmaid Wenna Richards. There could have been something strong here, but what we ended up getting was an opener which fizzles out before it really gets going.
5/10
James Goss brings us the second episode of the series which sees the return of the questionably beloved Krotons as they plan to use celebrities to create a huge power bank. Harvest of the Krotons is a bit of lighter one when compared to the rest of the boxset, yet the way it handles this idea of being forgotten and fading away is really tragic. Jackie gets some really great development here, giving Goss a chance to explore Jackie’s feelings of abandonment as well as adding a layer of intellectual anxiety which ultimate gets some great payoff with Jackie’s bank of gossip showing the depths of her emotional intelligence. This doesn’t mean that Goss’ comedic talents don’t manage to still seep through with a killer jacuzzi and very on the nose parodies of British celebrities, which may make this episode somewhat impenetrable to international listeners. It’s the chemistry between Kingston and Coduri that makes this so worth listening to, they effortlessly bounce of each other and play into each other’s comedic strengths so well, but it’s the closing moment where the pair discuss the distance between them and their loved ones that shows off the emotional power that each actor can bring to their respective roles. The Krotons themselves aren’t really interesting, neither do they feature too much in the story until the final stages of the episode, but their presence as ominous overseers does add a decently oppressive atmosphere to the story. I could listen to this duo for hours, so here’s hoping that they manage to find a way of giving them a bit more airtime in the future.
8/10
Next Tim Foley brings us Dead Man Talking, a chamber piece about the grief a mother feels for a son lost at war. I’m going to be very coy about how much detail I give away with this one because I really think you should go it this one blind and just let the emotional weight wash over you. There’s some really frightening use of séance tropes, as well as the classic huckster/medium trope and how they seek to exploit the weak and vulnerable. Foley brings a suitable level of compassion for those who are so defeated by grief that they’ll turn to any method of getting to see their loved ones again, all this backed up by a great central performance from Carol Royle as Mrs Pendergast. There’s a really powerful tie back to an iconic classic era story, which actually adds to the narrative rather than just serving as frustrating fan service. Foley, as I have mentioned before, is one of my favourite currently working Doctor Who writers and this story has shot up to amongst some of my favourites from him.
10/10
The final story, The Wife of River Song, comes to us from Lizzie Hopley. Now I’m not familiar with Brooke as a character, I know she appeared in the third series but I haven’t gotten round to listening to that boxset as of yet so there is the possibility that I may missed some deeper subtleties in Hopley’s script. That being said I think this script really cuts to the core of what makes River Song such a tragic character, Hopley plays around with the potential of what could have been. River could have had a perfectly calm and happy life with Jane but the fact that it is all a false reality created by a plague really hits exactly what makes River emotionally interesting. Brooke feels like she does spend much of this episode being the generic rational character in an irrational world, but Nina Toussaint-White reprises the role with gusto. The back half of the story is really where Hopley puts the compelling stuff, especially when we get a pair of Rivers playing off each other and Alex Kingston getting the chance to ham it up as a deranged version of the character. A surprise return from an underrated Big Finish baddie rounds off the story well, especially since The Scourge always had potential to be really fascinating villains had they had more use. Hopley’s script takes a while to get going but when the emotional weight starts building it really picks up and delivers us with an emotionally resonant end to the set and the series.
8/10
The Orphan Quartet was a bittersweet listen, especially as someone who became a huge River Song fan thanks to this spin-off series. There’s been some astonishingly good stories told in this series like Five Twenty-Nine, Friend of the Family or The Bekdel Test, and this set adds three more stellar stories to the mix. Sure that first story is a bit of a damp squib, but those final three entries in to the diary are fantastic explorations of who River is and how she processes all the grief she’s suffered. As a celebration of who River Song is as a character, The Orphan Quartet is as good as you can get.
8/10
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Review: The Diary of River Song – Friend Of The Family
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