So you know how we leave out milk and cookies for Santa Claus? Well, does that mean we have to leave out apple pies for Jason Biggs when he is filling in?

If we do, how do we explain to the kids why the filling in the middle is missing from the pie? Do we say Santa’s sack feel into it? It is much better than telling them the truth. Imagine having to explain to them that Kris Kringle doesn’t exist and also having the sex talk on the same day? It is enough to make you drink adult Egg Nog without the egg nog.