Weapons Of Minor Destruction – The episode opens with young Ward (Ruairi Heading) installing fence posts when a crack of lightning followed by rain forces him into the house. After eating, he carved a “W” in the door. Later, Padraic Quigley (Damien Owens) non-verbally tells young Tom (Daniel Fee) that he is thirsty. Tom goes for water when he encounters an armed Ward who demands pay for what he is owed. Utilizing sign language, Padraic reminds him of his promise to have the field done in a day. Tom interprets for Padraic. Ward claims to have made the promise but only if the weather permitted. Refusing to pay him, Padraic orders Tom to grab the gun because the safety is on. Tom alerts Ward of the gun safety being on. Unlocking the gun, Ward suggests Padraic close his eyes. He contemplates killing Tom but can’t go through with it. Frantic, Tom pees his pants. When Padriac pays up, Ward confiscates his rifle to cover his overtime. As Ward prepares to leave, Tom catches up with him to ask if he would have shot him. Returning to the kitchen, Tom says Ward wouldn’t have shot him but would have asked him to shoot Padraic. Ward assured Tom that he would inherit Padraic’s estate if he staged his death to look like an accident. Tom tells Padraic that he must learn to speak for himself.
30 Years Later – Mallory Markum (Danielle Galligan) looks at Emerson Stafford’s (Ronan Raftery) laptop to find correspondence between him and Elvira Clancy (Siobhan Cullen). They discuss “Don’t Make A Sound Death In A Quiet Place” by E.G. Cousins. Mallory slams the lid shut before leaving. At a diner, Mallory swaps her vegetarian dish for Elvira’s hamburger and fries. She tells Elvira that she is good to her. Elvira says she is good to her, even though, Mallory has done little for her. Elvira reminds her of how she read her terribly written novel. Mallory was jealous of her smartness while Elvira was jealous of her hotness. Mallory believes Elvira and Emerson have more common interests than her and Emerson.
Hughie Burns (David Ganly) searches for Clive Cavendish’s (Lalor Roddy) laptop after it went missing from his files. Clive’s attorney, Maurice calls asking where he is at. Hughie accuses him of having the laptop. Maurice suggests Emerson has it before threatening to send Clive’s “tat” to Kilraven Chronicle’s record room. Hughie says no when Maurice disconnects the line.
Mallory and Elvira are at an arcade when they encounter George Slammon (Ciaran McCourt). Thinking to herself, Elvira says George killed a child while drinking and driving. Mallory informs her that George’s sentence was reduced by three years for good behavior. She claims to have shown George’s brother, Leonard, her tits for cigarettes. Elvira chooses him as her next deserving victim when an incoming call from Emerson pops up on her phone. She tells Mallory that it is Ward Clancy (Michael Smiley) before answering the call. Emerson stresses the need to find out what Hughie knows about Maria Riedle. She demands he not mention what she told him earlier about Hughie hiring Maria. He asks her to find out for him.
The Kilraven Chronicle – Elvira slips Emerson a post-it note when Hughie calls him into his office. Emerson expresses his desire to do a story on the correctional system. He asks if it would be possible to speak with Patricia Ripley who wrote the obituaries for George’s victims. Hughie denies ever meeting Ripley, their correspondence was through a PO box. Handing him the post-it note – “To the best editor in the world. I’d be lost without you, M.R.” – Emerson it was stuck to one of the obituaries. Hughie says M.R. is Miss Ripley’s initials. Emerson requests her phone number unless she is dead. Both men snicker.
Elvira times George’s run for several days. He runs about 38 minutes.
Hughie tells Emerson that he is onto Maria Riedle. He suggests Emerson believes Buckley is innocent. Emerson says he was seeing Maria while she worked for The Chronicle. Hughie agrees to tell him everything off the record in exchange for Clive’s laptop. Hughie explains how the Guards collected the names of all gun owners the week Maria died. Emerson suggests the rifle can lead them to the killer. Hughie boasts of knowing what transpired in the pub and why Maria went into the woods. Emerson says Maria demanded her passport and bag back from Mallory who stole it. Hughie vows there is much more to the story.
Elvira tries to convince herself to kill George. She claims to be helping Emerson with a prison story. Ward warns that he relies on her too much before suggesting she write a piece about George. She believes George can’t be reformed. He reminds her of George being under the influence of alcohol when he mowed the father and his daughter down. After confirming he is intoxicated, she says everything he just said can be ignored.
Elvira talks to Bereavement Counselor Christine Churchyard (Eva Hein West) about her mum’s death which she contributes to the hospital staff. She explains how blackouts from drug use impacted her long-term memory. Christine urges her to always remember she is not alone. Elvira asks how she learned to forgive George. Refusing to discuss it, Christine suggests researching herself.
Hughie confesses to killing Maria. Emerson asks if his confession is on record. Hughie claims to have loved her before asking if he loves Mallory. Emerson declines to discuss his feelings for Mallory. Hughie admits to paying Mallory to steal Maria’s bag to keep her from leaving.
George leaves for his daily run. Elvira enters his home to find it set up like a prison. She realizes the iron is still plugged into the electric outlet when George returns. He grabs the iron before realizing the door is open. He demands she come out from hiding. Grabbing a pneumatic stapler, she points it at him. He asks if she wants to kill him for mowing down the man and his daughter. She fires the stapler but misses as she flees. A pursuant ensues and ends when her phone alarm goes off. He flees to safety. In a flashback, Ward teaches young Elvira (Eabha Moore) how to fire a rifle. She misses the target only to hit a deer. Back to the present, George shoves Elvira against a tree and recovers the pneumatic stapler. He threatens to shoot her but fires a staple to her left. He drops the stapler before fleeing. A short distance away, he is mowed down by a car.
Hughie finds Padraic’s name on the gun owner list. He conducts a search to discover he died on January 17, 2021. Later, Hughie tells Tom Quigley (Michael Hough) that Padraic had four rifles but showed the Guards three rifles. Tom assures him that no one removed a gun from his farm. “WARD 93” is carved on the entrance door of the farmhouse.
Leonard Slammon (Andy Doherty) tells Elvira that she has a “cracking bod”. Mentally, she describes him as “disgusting” as George. Unzipping his jacket, he shows her a surgical scar from a kidney transplant. He says George was the donor. He asks her to write George’s eulogy. Later, Elvira and Mallory attend George’s funeral. The officiate gets a laugh when he tells about George throwing stones at him. Leonard starts toward the pulpit to read George’s eulogy written by Elvira. Ignoring him, Christine takes her place behind the pulpit. She accuses George of taking everything away from her. She admits pondering what she would say to him for seven years. She forgives him earning herself a standing ovation. The funeral carries over to the pub. Ward tells Elvira that a drunk driver mowed George down. Escorting Mallory from the pub, Elvira complains about Christine’s forgiveness of George. Mallory describes her speech as “lovely”. Elvira says George deserves to “rot in hell”. Mallory tells her that Leonard killed Christine’s husband and daughter. She claims George took the blame because of Leonard’s poor health.
Mallory asks Elvira if she would forgive her if she did something horrible to her. Elvira says it depends on what she did. Mallory admits to cock-blocking Elvira before offering her Emerson. Elvira tells her to go do what she does best. While walking away, Mallory demands she find her own man. After Leonard refuses to pay Elvira for George’s eulogy, she screams, “The wrong brother died.”
Mallory tosses Elvira’s novel into Emerson’s lap. He describes it as “pretty good”.
Ward prepares to admit his sins when Tom asks where is Padraic’s rifle. Ward claims to have got rid of it to protect Elvira. Tom informs him of Hughie knowing the rile was stolen. Reminding him of Padraic’s connection to the Provisional Irish Republic Army “Provos,” Ward warns of people snooping around his property. Tom threatens Warn if he doesn’t take care of Hughie.
After reading about Elvira shooting a deer with a hunting rifle, someone clicks inside Emerson’s head. Elsewhere, Christine asks Elvira to leave her business cards at the homes of grieving families. Stunned, Elvira says the stunt at the funeral was to boost business. Christine confesses to feeling good about George’s death. Elvira claims her best day was shooting bottles in the woods. Christine says the therapy will allow her to relive the experience. Closing her eyes, Elvira finds herself passed out in a vehicle after taking pills. She is relieved to see Mallory who she believes saved her. She watches as Mallory runs away. Back to the present, Elvira recalls Mallory asking for her forgiveness. She tells Christine that Mallory left her to die Christine asks how she feels about it. Elvira says in her mind that she feels like killing Mallory. The episode ends.
Obituary Review
Padraic owes Ward money which he refuses to pay because the field wasn’t done in 24 hours. A stipulation was added to extend the deadline in the event it rained. Ward threatens to kill Tom but Padraic doesn’t budge until he sees his pants wet. Ward keeps Padraic’s rifle to cover his so-called overtime. Tom vows to never interpret for Padraic again. 30 years later, Hughie believes the rifle was utilized to kill Maria. Tom threatens Ward if he doesn’t deal with Hughie.
Hughie offers Emerson information on the night Maria died in exchange for the Guard’s list of gun owners. Hughie paid Mallory to steal Maria’s bag to keep her in Kilraven. Maria was working for The Chronicle while seeing Hughie.
George Slammon is granted release after seven years behind bars for killing a girl and her father while driving under the influence. Elvira makes an appointment with a bereavement therapist. Christine is the wife and mother of George’s victims. George’s brother, Leonard offers Elvira money to write his eulogy. Christine interrupts the funeral service to announce that she has forgiven George. She later tells Elvira that George’s funeral was a good day for her. Mallory tells Eliza that Leonard killed Christine’s family. George knew Leonard wouldn’t survive in prison because of his kidney disease. George gave Leonard a kidney to save his life.
During a therapy session, Elvira goes back to the night she tried to kill herself. She believes Mallory saved her life but she really left her there to perish. Elvira wants Mallory dead.
The episode deserves a 6. Get more Obituary recaps here. Support Reel Mockery by donating. Our onsite advertising builds brand awareness, click the link to learn more.
