Impossible Birds – As the episode opens, Izzy Hands (Con O’Neill) duels with Captain Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby). Knocking Stede’s sword out of his hand, Izzy prepares to slice his throat when Banes claims to still owe him. Izzy asks what for. Stede stabs him in the gut while accusing him of selling him out to the English. Izzy says it was Stede who decided to leave Blackbeard/Edward “Ed” Teach (Taika Waititi). After stabbing Izzy in the chest, Stede asks where is Edward. Collapsing on the ground, Izzy calls him a “twat” before dying. Hearing his name called, Stede looks up to see Ed racing toward him. The men rush into each other. A collision sends them to the ground. As the men talk, Stede expels gas. He wakes up as Wee John Feeney (Kristian Nairn) in the upper hammock is passing gas. Stede accuses Wee John of farting on him. Wee John tells him to shut up. Stede complains about the foul odor. Black Pete (Matthew Maher) assures him the stench is nothing compared to his moaning Ed’s name all night.
Stede writes Ed a letter claiming he and his crew are “thriving” but his renunciation of wealth has landed on the Republic of Pirates. Oluwande Boodhari (Samson Kay) asks Spanish Jackie (Leslie Jones) for work and shelter. Jackie reminds him of Stede breaking her “nose jar”. Smiling, Stede apologizes. When she points out “blondie,” The Swede (Nat Faxon) identifies himself. Roach (Samba Schutte) says The Swede is single. Jackie tells him to approach and turn around. After a full inspection, she agrees to let the crew sleep in the cellar before ordering them to report to work in 20 minutes. As The Swede prepares to leave, she pats a chair for him to sit. Stede assures him that it is okay. Pulling The Swede’s chair closer, Spanish Jackie jokingly warns that she bites.
The crew works as bouncers, hosts, bartenders, and entertainers in Jackie’s pub. Nathaniel Buttons (Ewen Bremner) asks Stede when they can return to the sea. Stede says when they gather enough cash before trying to convince Oluwande to pour him a drink. Oluwande tells him that drinks aren’t free. Offering to buy him a drink, Prime Richard “Ricky” Banes (Erroll Shand) asks if he is Stede Bonnet which he immediately denies. Back to Ed’s letter, Stede confesses to missing him. Elsewhere, Izzy alerts Blackbeard of an approaching vessel. Back to the Republic of Pirates, Stede kisses the bottle containing Ed’s letter before tossing it into the sea.
Tuesday, The Day Before That, and The Day Before That…. A priest (Benton Jennings) officiates a wedding. He asks if anyone objects to the matrimony when Blackbeard speaks up. As “Strawberry Letter 23” by Shuggie Otis plays in the background, Blackbeard identifies himself as the “devil”. A fight ensues. In the cabin, a sullen Fang (David Fane), Jim Jimenez (Vico Ortiz), Frenchie (Joel Fry), and Zhang Yi Sao (Ruibo Qian) sit quietly. Fang says Blackbeard is different. Frenchie describes the wedding cake as “fabulous”. Jim questions how he is so calm about everything. Frenchie tells him that he stores all the terrible things in a locked box inside his brain. When Fang starts weeping, Frenchie asks if he wants the rest of his cake.
Stede and Oluwande spot a Blackbeard wanted poster hanging on the side of a building. Stede says there is no way the poster resembles Blackbeard. Oluwande takes a closer look to see the back covered in Blackbeard’s crimes. Stede assures him that Ed is just blowing off steam before ordering two bowls of soup. Zang Yi Sao/Susan (Ruibo Qian) prepares the soup while Oluwande warns there will never be enough money to acquire his ideal ship. Stede says not his pessimistic attitude. Susan confesses to killing the former owner of her soup kiosk. Oluwande asks if he keeps putting it off because he fears Blackbeard is out to kill him. Denying the allegation, Stede asks why Blackbeard would want to kill him. Susan says he is a “madman”. Oluwande reminds him of how he dumped Blackbeard. Auntie (Anapela Polataivao) suggests Blackbeard dumped him. Stede says they are taking a break from each other.
Blackbeard stares at a groom figurine. Izzy warns that his crew is run down. Blackbeard says they can have some rhino horn before snorting a line. After Izzy declines his offer of rhino horn, Blackbeard calls him a “lightweight” before threatening to give his job to someone who can handle it. While the crew stores their stash away, Frenchie asks if they are going to split it. Izzy says some of their look needs to be tossed to make room for an impending raid. Jim, Frenchie, and Archie (Madeleine Sami) question the move. Izzy nearly breaks down while demanding they follow his orders. Fang tries to comfort him. Jim tells him that the crew is concerned about his and Blackbeard’s “unhealthy relationship”. Archie and Frenchie point out that Blackbeard abuses rhino horn. Fang holds Izzy while he weeps.
Spanish Jackie confronts Stede and his crew after the discovery of their money jar. As she tacks on fees, The Swede, “Boo Cakes”, deducts money from their savings. The Swede suggests tacking on fees for job training and education which empties their money jar. The Stede threatens to take it back until she introduces them to her 20 husbands. The Swede says he had breakfast with one of her husbands. Jackie assures him that they will have many more breakfasts together.
Stede and his crew get acclimated to their new shelter under a bridge. He says there is a roof when a crack of thunder is followed by rain. Trying to act enthusiastic, Black Pete says running water.
Looking at Blackbeard’s wanted poster, Stede says they are in a terrible situation. He questions if Blackbeard’s life is better without him. Mocking Blackbeard, Stede says, “Could be, mate” when Ricky approaches. As Stede rushes away, Ricky says the “Gentleman Pirate” is his hero after saving his life. He claims to be a wealthy prince. Stede urges him to leave the Republic of Pirates because it is dangerous. Ricky explains how Spanish Jackie banned him from her pub after commenting on her valuable Roman puzzle chest. Later, The Swede tells Stede that it sits at the foot of Jackie’s bed. Black Pete questions if The Swede is trustworthy now that he is Jackie’s 20th husband. The Swede claims his time with Jackie is the happiest of his life but he has a moral obligation to repay his debt.
Izzy informs Blackbeard of the crew’s refusal to toss their treasure overboard. Blackbeard asks what is their excuse. Izzy says because it is treasure. Blackbeard tells him that it will cost him a toe. Izzy voices concern about Blackbeard’s condition before suggesting they discuss it. Blackbeard asks each member of crew at gunpoint if they believe it is a poisonous atmosphere. Having enough, Izzy attributes the poisonous environment to how he feels about Stede. Blackbeard shoots Izzy before appointing Frenchie as first mate. He orders the treasures tossed overboard.
The Swede massages Spanish Jackie’s back while Black Pete and Roach steal her Russian chest. As Ricky prepares his signature drink, “Lime Ricky,” Stede and the crew flee. Jackie attacks him from behind. She accuses him of robbing her. The Swede hands her a knife. Ricky screams as she cuts off his nose. A short time later, Jackie and her husband(s) find Stede and his crew with her chest full of precious blue die. The Swede pretends to be shocked by their actions. Jackie threatens to cut off their noses when Susan offers to buy the blue die. Auntie tosses her a bag of coins. When Jackie declines the offer, Auntie tosses her another bag. Susan demands she throw Stede and his crew into the deal. Accepting the offer, Spanish Jackie asks The Swede if he double-crossed her. He tells her that he owed them a debt. She says double-cross is her thing before calling his actions “hot” as they make their way back to Jackie’s place. Susan claims the indigo is three times more valuable than what she paid for.
Jim tries to comfort Fang with the wooden boy story. Blackbeard says they will stay on the sea forever. Frenchie reluctantly says it is a good plan. Holding the groom figurine, Blackbeard curses Stede.
In a dingy, Stede and his crew learn Susan is actually Zheng Yi Sao, the Pirate Queen. The episode ends.
Our Flag Means Death Review
Not much has changed but still a strong start to season two. Stede openly pines for Blackbird while Blackbird pines for Stede in silence. The difference is Blackbird uses rhino horn to drown out his feelings. Hopefully, the story moves past this to new adventures sooner than later.
Season two introduces several new characters, including Zhang Yi Sao, Archie, and Auntie. Killing off Con O’Neill is a major disappointment. It will be impossible to find someone to fill his shoes. The episode deserves a 6.5.
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