Pinocchio meets Frankenhooker in the sci-fi they should have called Pinocchi-ho.

Set in Victorian London, Poor Things concerns a mad scientist (Willem Dafoe) who puts a child’s brain in an adult’s body (Emma Stone). A caddish lawyer (Mark Ruffalo) abducts the experimental Bella and takes her on a kind of Peter Pan-European sex tour, where she learns all the human fundamentals (sex and poverty).

A chimera comprising The Elephant Man, Edward Scissorhands and Nymphomaniac, Poor Things is a feminist Frankenstein given an absurdist steampunk makeover, moving Wizard of Oz-style from Burton-like black-and-white to Gilliamesque technicolour. Director Yorgos Lanthimos continues to juxtapose the stylistically quirky and the downright ugly, but trades the sharp plotting and caustic wit of The Favourite for meandering storytelling and juvenile humour; it is odd to see a film with so many well thought-out elements go for such obvious jokes.

Its dominant theme of female bodily autonomy is timely and essential, but the story runs out of ideas over the course of its two-hour-twenty duration. The plot does not consider the mystery of where Bella came from until the rushed climax, devoting most of the runtime to trying scenes of Stone and Ruffalo doing ridiculous voices at each other. Despite a committed performance from Stone, Bella’s self-discovery is almost entirely focused on her sexual awakening, which limits her character development and any emotional impact.

This is a defiantly non-conformist movie whose constant fish-eye visuals and affected dialogue conspire to test your patience – even if it contains the best fruit-based masturbation scene since Call Me By Your Name.