Tattoo is a German thriller from 2002, not to be confused with the 1981 American movie Tattoo or the Russian band t.A.T.u.

This film has perhaps the most ridiculous opening since The Spy Who Loved Me: a naked and bloodied woman stumbles into the street and gets hit by a bus which then explodes. It sets you up for a Swordfish-style schlock-fest, but that proves mercifully misleading. Instead Tattoo is a gloomy detective thriller that wears its inkfluence (David Fincher’s Se7en) on its sleeve.

Like the 1995 classic, Tattoo pairs a rookie cop (August Diehl) with a near-retirement detective (Christian Redl). The young officer is caught taking drugs at a rave, and told he can keep his badge if he joins a homicide investigation. The victims have all been found with tattooed skin removed, which apparently makes his knowledge of the Berlin underground scene useful for solving this epidermic epidemic.

The thriller grows more outlandish when it emerges that the killer is collecting 12 rare tattoos drawn by the same Japanese master, which would surely narrow down the investigation pretty quickly. But the film proceeds slowly from one horrible murder scene to the next, a self-conscious stencil of Fincher’s neo-noir with only trace amounts of characterisation.

Director Robert Schwentke (who soon went to Hollywood to make Red, R.I.P.D. and the Divergent movies) injects a suitably grim atmosphere, the taboo-busting visuals and makeup effects leaving some markedly moody images. But it’s not enough to cover-up the faded storylines, making this one Tattoo that won’t be running through your head (running through your head).