I’ve been sitting here, looking at the “Buy” screen at Apple.com for 2 hours now.

Late last year, I finally made the decision to fully imerse myself in the Apple ecosystem. Probably the worst time to do so, but I’ve been such a massive fan of Apple since I was a teenager, I figured it was time to embrace the Cupertino crazies.

I switched back to an iPhone, although I had been an iPhone owner in the past. I added AppleTV to my entertainment system. I started turning my home into a ‘smart’ home via HomeKit. I picked up a Mac Pro for my video/podcasting/photo editing and general at home work stuff.

But it was the mobile workstation I had trouble with. I travel a ton work, so for all intents and purposes, my laptop was going to be my main machine. It makes sense to drop as much cash as possible on that device, but I just wasn’t convinced with the new MacBook Pros. The consensus was they just were just silly. Apple is known for making everyone feel like a douche by releasing major updates within 12 months of each other, and I knew something bigger was on the horizon.

I complained and complained about Apple’s upgrade to the MacBook Pro line. I touted that I had purchased an older MacBook Pro and was loving it. Not only was I loving the machine, but loving the thousand plus dollars I saved.To summarize, I had no intentions of purchasing a new MacBook Pro when the were released in late 2016. They used last generation processors, made it impossible to upgrade anything in the future, and they didn’t add a single new thing that got me excited. In fact, they took stuff away.

Okay, okay, so that isn’t entirely true. Contrary to most people, I’m a fan of USB-C/Thunderbolt. Yes it is a pain in the ass now, but I’ve always loved how Apple forces us to change. The removal of Magsafe, however, really ground my gears. (Is that the proper tense of that?!)

I had no interest in the TouchBar. I like the idea of TouchID on my Mac, but not for that price. The subtraction of features I love, the addition of features I’m meh about, and the general lack of top specs made me say ‘No’ to anything sans a glowing Apple on the top.

Looking at the previous model, it made even less sense to go that route because of the fact that I would be paying almost the same amount for last year’s device. Although that doesn’t really matter to me, the performance just didn’t cut it. Everyone knows the Broadwell based MacBook’s are still the most powerful, upgradeable, and just as pretty as the early 2016 model. I picked up a refurbished one via Apple.com’s refurb program and I’ve been in love ever since.

I upgraded the RAM and the hard drive myself, and I couldn’t be happier. This thing handles everything I need it to do with ease, and the battery life ain’t bad for a refurb. I’ve been really, really, really happy.

But now I have a problem. Well, two, actually.

First, I got a job promotion. This gave me a huge bump in not only benefits but responsibilities. My current laptop handles everything I have to do now really well, but that is changing very quickly. Soon I’m going to need top of the line processor and hard drive specs if I want to get the job done.

The other is Apple finally slapped Kaby Lake processors into their machines, and dropped the price of the 13″ MacBook Pro. Golly Gee, I was excited. I can get the exact machine I want for under $2,000. That is pretty amazing to me.

But still, here I sit… debating. I can’t do it. I can’t justify spending that much money, knowing I won’t be able to do anything about it in the future, save for tossing it out (not literally) and getting a new one. I don’t think I can put that kind of time in every year to make sure I’m up to date.

Sure, you might say just upgrade to the next line up from the one you currently have, but then I see massive drop in performance.

Some days, you just can’t win.