I have never seen The Rachel Zoe Fiasco. I assume that the "project" involves whatever horrible ritual is used to raise the haggard witch from the grave and inflate her to some sort of semi-ordinary proportions by pumping her full of collagen so she won't implode within herself and fold like bed linen. Actually, I take that back - I don't think they use collagen, I think they just buy those industrial sized helium tanks and fill her like a balloon, which would account for the horrible hiss sometimes heard to emanate for her direction.

That being said, it's Halloween-time, kiddies, so you better prepare your costumes. Me? I cannot decided. Won't you help me?

Should I be:

- Inflatable "Raisinface" Rachel Zoe complete with horns, proboscis tongue (for goat sucking), outfit made entirely of bananas with gay-Great-Gatsby and back-up-singer-for-Gem-an-the-Holograms assistants

- Albus Dumbledore on Pride Day with rainbow robes and vibrating "magic wand"

- Johnny McCain complete with walker, tapioca, undead wife and conservative, moose-killing, shaved-Bush running mate

Or, should I just fallback on my old standard: a Mormon missionary who's been hit by a car with bible, copy of The Watchtower, name badge, broken bike, bike helmet and tire tracks on my shirt?