I’ve always been shit with Money; as soon as that direct debit hits my bank account on payday I start walking around like an Instagram influencer in a coffee gaff that uses a personalised chocolate topper… before spending three weeks stumbling through the perpetual hangover of our own terrible budgeting skills.

I’m not on my own, bad money management is a trademark of our generation. After all, if you’re under 40 and don’t have a toxic and confusing relationship with money then WYD?

But, despite my love for dancing with the devil on the daily; when you have a kid, you have to learn to grow the fuck up. This is even more heightened in the Instagram era we live in; because things get hyped up a notch.

There’s outfits you want to buy, (your kid will wear them once) baby classes you feel like you need to go to to hold on to any shred of control, (spoiler: they’ll either just cry through them or sleep, which is whole new level of annoying because, god forbid they sleep for you during the day) and holidays you’ll want to take them on, (despite the fact you know it’s going to be too FUCKING hot.)

Yeah, kids are expensive, who fucking knew?

But, from what I’ve gathered so far, it doesn’t matter how rich you are; when you have kids you suddenly realise that you need to get a grip of your finances. For example; my amazing talent for spending money like it’s about to get recalled, has also led to the unique ability to be able to live on £3.50 for 2 weeks.

Impressive, I know.

But, considering it’s not longer just me, myself and I anymore; I decided I should probably try to budget.

So, I thought I’d share three money Saving ideas that I’ve used over the last few months:

Penny saving vibes

I read a thing on the ‘world wide web’ that said; “if you save a penny a day you get rich as fuck.”

I’m paraphrasing, of course. But, it turns out that saving one penny on the first day, two pennies on the second day, three pennies on the third day – (you get where I’m going with this, don’t you) means that you can save £667 a year.

£667 a year.

From pennies.

That’s enough to give your kids a good Christmas, (in my opinion) so it’s worth a shot.

Changing broadband

Bills are expensive, aren’t they. Especially when you’ve got a new baby. You’ve suddenly got double the water, eleccy and  heating bills you used to. But, one thing that doesn’t need to change is your broadband, So, you might as well make sure you’re not paying for the shit you don’t use; (you can find a good broadband deal here.)

Sell your shit

I know people make good money on eBay, but I’ve never liked the idea of selling my life online for a fraction of what it’s worth. That said; when I discovered Depop, I felt better about the vibe. Depop, for people who can’t read the subtext, is basically eBay for people who don’t like selling things online.

It looks like Instagram, acts like Instagram – but sells your shit like ebay. So, girls, send me your @’s, because I want you hand me downs for  fraction of the cost. You can follow me here.

Until next time… 

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