At my six-week check up, (which I actually had at 9 weeks because fuck the tories and their NHS cuts) the doctor said I’d got my Body back quickly. Now, don’t get me wrong, that throwaway comment was the ego boost that a new mum covered in baby sick who hadn’t slept or brushed her hair in three days needed, but it was the first time that it occurred to me that people are going to start expecting me to look like I did 12 months ago and honestly I was SHOOK. I mean, I JUST had a baby, and to be quite honest, between the burst stitches, weeing in the bath and trying to keep a tiny human alive, I’d been too preoccupied with my body actually surviving the ordeal (on four hours sleep a night), that  I’d not had a chance to worry about how it looked.

It’s strange isn’t it, the way we talk about our Bodies after pregnancy. We talk about ‘getting our body back’ like somewhere along the line we lost it – neatly glossing over the fact that it’s just spent the best part of a year working harder than it’s ever worked before. And it’s worse for celebrities, who are hounded by rags like The S*n trying to get a photo of a bit of loose skin so they can paw over whether so-and-so is ‘bouncing back’ as quickly as the public would like

As someone whose never been overly confident about my body, I worried a lot in the first trimester of pregnancy how I’d look after I’d had the baby, but now she’s here that doesn’t seem so important. The facts are, whether I like it or not, I shared this body of mine for nine months. It was stretched to its limits; ripped apart and sewn back up again. I’ve got scars, loose skin and stretch marks. I thought having tiny boobs would mean they would stay where they were after pregnancy, but even they’re like burst water balloons. My body has changed, and it probably won’t ever look like it did pre-pregnancy again, but it’s done one hell of a good job. Things have changed, yes – but I certainly never lost my body.

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