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Eat Fast, Sh$t Fast, Die Fast!

That's a nice expression.
I'm not sure if this is unique to Japan, or even to everyone.


You probably thought, I've come to the wrong blogpost, it sounds a little off (not only off from the centre, its justified! Like as in word format, justified! Not like Justin Timberlake).


It would help if its JUSTIFIED. I guess not.


Well anywho.....

This nice expression I heard a few times. I wondered what was up with that. I noticed due to Japan having a lot of people there seemed to be a rush to do things fast.

EAT FAST

Many a time I would be trying to enjoy the first bites of my food when I was told we were going to leave the restaurant.
WTF? I just started eating though. I always considered filling up my pockets with whatever food it was (sushi, curry, deep friend meat). Cause I'm sure those will sit well in your pockets and not stain your groin area. If they do just say you went to bathroom in your pants (cause that's cool and adult-like).
I think soy sauce comes out well from clothes anyways, so not to worry.

I was always the last to finish eating. I felt guilty (but not as bad as those people with dead hookers in their trunk. Shizam! Terrible I know). I would look around and everyone would wait for me. I knew they were not subtle hints when they said "Its getting late", "We need to go", "We are using a lot of valuable time".
But seriously if I don't have time to digest properly things might not sit well (and I really mean that).

Sh%t Fast

When it came to the bathroom there was good and bad.
The good was that I had to go and I seemed to be on a liquid only stool. I didn't need much time, everything came out from the faucet so to speak (graphic I know, but hey at least I didn't link it to curry).
The bad, I now linked it with curry while saying that, sorry. In addition, while it was fast, it was a repeat like a record stuck on one part forever (most of you probably don't even know what a record is, or an 8 bit NES. I am getting old. I used to think 8 bit was f'n amazing. Now people have 3D, 4K and 360 video/ games).

I had a few problems, not sure if due to the food or due to eating the food too fast.

Die Fast

 I sometimes repeat the expression myself to keep myself on track. As I can't seem to do it eat fast, sh%t fast, die fast. At least the first one. The other two, maybe. I haven't tried the third, but I'm sure its easy enough, you probably only need one try (and I'm not willing to do it, no matter what my psychologist tells you). My A.D.H.D (ADD)/ hypochondriac (anxious about health issues). psychotic state seems to have levelled itself due to the placebo pills of sugar. Cause you know sugar is always good for you (especially if nuts). By the way if I know its a placebo I'm not nuts, cause I'm tricking my mind into believing it. That means I'm part Star wars type JEDI.
I'm just kidding I don't have any of those or have a psychologist (yet), but after hearing this expression a few times, it definitely sent me close to that path.
I may be slightly OCD, I like to wash my hands a lot, but other than that I'm relatively normal (except for the dead hooker's in my trunk SHIZAM! I got you again).

There was only one thing I wanted while eating out in Japan (at a restaurant I mean), I get to eat slowly, the other two can come later (as in Sh$t fast and Die fast nothing else, but sounds sexual).


I used to think this looks like real cherries and the graphic were unreal! Wow. I'm that old.





This post first appeared on Memoirs Of A Gaijin - An Unlucky English Teacher I, please read the originial post: here

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Eat Fast, Sh$t Fast, Die Fast!

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