Do you ever shutter when you hear certain things, or someone makes the same mistake over and over? (I sometimes also shutter when I pee my pants, but that's for a separate blog post (hope its not too TMI). Hope you are looking forward to it.
I use to have a co worker (in Canada) that always said "my staffs always listen to me". I wanted to slap him across the face (he was my boss, so maybe not a good idea).
It used to piss me off to no end (just like a Duracell battery? It kept going and going... and going....)
There are many words that the Japanese language has borrowed from English and Japacized (not to be confused with infanticide, and not nearly as terrible to most people, but to me both are disgraceful.
For some reason, certain words make me shutter and the only way to release my anger is to slap someone. Myself? Doesn't work, I tried!
PROTEIN. You know the stuff you get from meat and muscle builders eat a ton of.
In Japan its called PRO - TAIN. Like PRO but TAIN(T) minus the T. I just wanna slap the nearest person when I hear it. Its super annoying. I guess I should avoid the muscle bound types for slapping.
Dump Truck DANPUKAA
like as in DAN (name) PU (poo) kaah (like yelling kaaaaaaaaaa in a fight). Sounds like a child invented that word. I hate it with a passion (like Passion of the Christ, except no passion for Christ).
HORMONE(S) = HORUMON
I hate this word. WHORE MOHN (the MOHN is like the exact way a Jamaican would say MAN, MOUHN). As in hormones but also used when eating meat sometime at yakiniku (meat grilled on a BBQ). I hate it when someone asks "Do you want to eat hormones?" Sounds sick (and it is). LOL! I want to take that meat and put it where the sun don't shine (wait this sounds sexual). Its not supposed to be.
I guess I should play devil's advocate (more devil and less advocate) and state that in the West we also Anglicize (turn it into English) to make words sound better for us.
Here are a few reverse examples that may drive Japanese people insane (and slap someone around them).
SAKE- I've never heard anyone in the West say this right, its SAAH KE(H). Everyone says SAKEY, there is no key sound. When Japanese people are trying to figure out what the hell you want, you think you're funny giggling and they don't. They are trying to comprehend your horrendous Japanese pronunciation.
GEISHA (its gay shah) not GI SHA or GAI SHA. Gei (gay) means Art and Shah (person). A person of art, although Geisha have many skills, one of those about deflowering seems to be the only thing us Westerns take from them. They also have many skills such as conversation, instrument playing, makeup skills, serving properly, singing etc. Its a wide array of talents, not laying on their backs (even I could do that one. Sounds sexual again, tone it down).
ORIGAMA, as in OREA(H) GAHME not ORAH GAMI. ORU means to fold, and becomes ORI, GAMI means paper, so literally you are saying folded paper. Everytime you say it wrong they probably want to fold you (in a really painful way).
TEMPURA (tem puhhh rah). Don't say Tampura or Tamponra. I don't want to eat tampons or have it get mixed up with my food (again). Its a joke.
I use to have a co worker (in Canada) that always said "my staffs always listen to me". I wanted to slap him across the face (he was my boss, so maybe not a good idea).
It used to piss me off to no end (just like a Duracell battery? It kept going and going... and going....)
| Its probably not worth being strangled by Darth Vader. Get it right! Its a command not a suggestion. |
There are many words that the Japanese language has borrowed from English and Japacized (not to be confused with infanticide, and not nearly as terrible to most people, but to me both are disgraceful.
For some reason, certain words make me shutter and the only way to release my anger is to slap someone. Myself? Doesn't work, I tried!
PROTEIN. You know the stuff you get from meat and muscle builders eat a ton of.
In Japan its called PRO - TAIN. Like PRO but TAIN(T) minus the T. I just wanna slap the nearest person when I hear it. Its super annoying. I guess I should avoid the muscle bound types for slapping.
Dump Truck DANPUKAA
like as in DAN (name) PU (poo) kaah (like yelling kaaaaaaaaaa in a fight). Sounds like a child invented that word. I hate it with a passion (like Passion of the Christ, except no passion for Christ).
HORMONE(S) = HORUMON
I hate this word. WHORE MOHN (the MOHN is like the exact way a Jamaican would say MAN, MOUHN). As in hormones but also used when eating meat sometime at yakiniku (meat grilled on a BBQ). I hate it when someone asks "Do you want to eat hormones?" Sounds sick (and it is). LOL! I want to take that meat and put it where the sun don't shine (wait this sounds sexual). Its not supposed to be.
| Seems a little overly direct. I like it. |
I guess I should play devil's advocate (more devil and less advocate) and state that in the West we also Anglicize (turn it into English) to make words sound better for us.
Here are a few reverse examples that may drive Japanese people insane (and slap someone around them).
SAKE- I've never heard anyone in the West say this right, its SAAH KE(H). Everyone says SAKEY, there is no key sound. When Japanese people are trying to figure out what the hell you want, you think you're funny giggling and they don't. They are trying to comprehend your horrendous Japanese pronunciation.
GEISHA (its gay shah) not GI SHA or GAI SHA. Gei (gay) means Art and Shah (person). A person of art, although Geisha have many skills, one of those about deflowering seems to be the only thing us Westerns take from them. They also have many skills such as conversation, instrument playing, makeup skills, serving properly, singing etc. Its a wide array of talents, not laying on their backs (even I could do that one. Sounds sexual again, tone it down).
ORIGAMA, as in OREA(H) GAHME not ORAH GAMI. ORU means to fold, and becomes ORI, GAMI means paper, so literally you are saying folded paper. Everytime you say it wrong they probably want to fold you (in a really painful way).
TEMPURA (tem puhhh rah). Don't say Tampura or Tamponra. I don't want to eat tampons or have it get mixed up with my food (again). Its a joke.
| Sounds about right. Just replace grammar with English loan words. A bit of a mouthful though. |
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Other funny stories from this blog
http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/
My blog about everyday life (not Japan related/ and maybe less amusing )
http://eyethroughtheglass.blogspot.ca/
My Youtube Channel (makes no sense just like my blog)
http://www.youtube.com/user/judoka4eva
This post first appeared on Memoirs Of A Gaijin - An Unlucky English Teacher I, please read the originial post: here
