I went to Sydney a few weeks ago. I'm from Melbourne and I've been to Sydney many times before, but this time I went with an open mind – forgetting all about the silly Melbourne–Sydney rivalry. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Sydney is actually a pretty awesome place. Here are ten reasons you absolutely must go there:

1. Kangaroo balls.

Forget cheap imitations. Head to the The Rocks Markets on weekends and get yourself a real pair. You know, for good luck... and stuff.


2. The fountain of the man getting sexy with a minotaur.

... And turtles with projectile vomit. That's how demigods were created in the old days. Srsly.

[Archibald Fountain, Hyde Park]

3. Unwanted toy animals live in trees.

Where else are they supposed to live?

[Surry Hills]

4. The guy in Chinatown who never stops hula-hopping.

He's secretly collecting metadata for Kim Jong-un.



5. Giant glowing rabbits.

People are attracted to the light, like mosquitoes, and then the rabbit eats them. The beautiful circle of life.

[The Rocks Village Bizarre]

6. Cruise ships are bigger than apartment complexes.

And more affordable to live in.



7. Mark Webber will let you stick your finger in his ear.

It makes him drive faster.


8. Barbecued pandas.

The subtext is crystal clear... Panda Skewers.


9. People on public transport only have mouths.

But, they're always smiling.


10. Tree failure.

It's like bankruptcy... for trees.

[Hyde Park]