"I just hope you're having tea with me, not having me for tea."
"That impression of a dog with your tongue hanging out is so unbecoming of a cat like you..."
"Lights! Camera! Sit! Oh no! I said 'sit', not 'leap'!"
"How do you like your tea? With milk, and two lumps of chickens or rabbits?"
"A lion and a man alone in a room, is that your idea of suspense, Mr. Hitchcock?"
"Is Hitchcock photobombing this photo just like what he did in most of the pictures he made?"
"Before you're thinking of having Hitchcock tartare, remember that the photographer is a reliable eyewitness and we also have photographic evidence, and most of all you have no alibi whatsoever."
Funny Caption #82
| Border patrol officers tried to keep fugitive in the U.S, 1920 |
"If Mexico is good enough for Leon Trotsky, Luis Buñuel, Che Guevara, and the Shah of Iran, then Mexico here I come!"
"Escape justice by fleeing to Mexico? Are you pulling my leg?"
"Tug of war at the border."
"I've never been happier to be a couple of feet shorter..."
"Law enforcement is a such a drag."
"Mexican stand-off or Mexican lying-on?"
"Short legs that were caught by the long arms of the laws."
"He definitely suffers from a case of split nationality."
"Look what you've missed out by putting up a border wall!"
"Is that your idea of getting a dual citizenship?"
"Torn between two loves: the love of Uncle Sam and the love of freedom."
Funny Caption #83
| Santa's Yumnut: a pasty launched by M&S for the 2020 Christmas |
"Ho ho ho holey crackers of a name!"
"‘Who wants a bite of Santa’s Yumnut™?’, M&S asked. Who Elves but Mrs. Santa, of Claus!"
"Santa's Yumnut: bought to you by the same country that concocted 'spotted dick'."
"This dessert is best eaten after the mouthful enjoyment of Love Sausage™, which was also created by M&S. Sausage and donut go together like bolt and nut or Tarzan and Jane or horse and carriage or teapot and cup or coin and fountain or raindrop and flower or Santa and his belt or...just ask Freud!"
"No sex (innuendos) please. We're British!"
Funny Caption #84
| Mad Hatterpillar - an Aussie caterpillar with multiple heads |
"The Eifel Tower of the insect world."
"I just don't understand why you want to carry all those dead weights around!"
"Six heads are better than one."
"I'm not a head hunter. All these heads are mine. All mine! Muhahahaha!"
"Extra extra! I've got five of 'em!"
"I assume you don't have a fear of height?"
"It's lovely to meet you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you!"
"Yes! I've got a very high IQ and am a high minded individual!"
"Isn't obvious that I'm inclined to be mentally balanced?"
"Hi pal or high pillar! Halloween is still months away!"
"These heads will confuse the hell of them flies!"
"I hope I won't grow into a six headed butterfly. I prefer to be a beauty and the beast in one."
"You're stacking nicely as a librarian. Good parallel browsing of the book shelves..."
"Being brainy is a heavy burden. I oughta know!"
"I'm constantly haunted by memories of all my pasts!"
"When Harry Met Hedy."
Funny Caption #85
| Soviet's Leonid Brezhnev met East German Erich Honecker in 1979 in Berlin |
"From Russia With Love."
"Easy Leo! Pace yourself! We have time."
"Umm...did you just have beluga or sturgeon caviar for lunch? Spill it out! I won't kiss and tell..."
"Let's show the West what communist leaders are capable of!"
"Hey Leo, at this distance, I can finally see that you actually have two eyebrows."
"No world leaders can French kiss like Russian's."
"Let's give the press in the West something to write about."
"You call that a kiss? Bolshevik!"
"Shaken, not stirred."
"Who do you think this kiss feels like it lasts forever. Them two or the rest of us?"
"Totally in-your-face bromance."
"The iron curtain is finally lifted to reveal the real reason behind the earthquake that caused the Fall of the Berlin Wall!"
Funny Caption #86
| Rudy Giuliani, Attorney for president Trump with hair dye running down his face while claiming election fraud |
"I don't have a nasty streak whatsoever!"
"Wowza! I've never seen anything that big and so wrinkly!"
"Live and let dye!"
"Is this thing safe to eat?"
"Some ooze confidence, other oozes eww !"
"Before drilling the unspoiled Alaska for oil, why not consider my head first?"
"I can make headline everyday without breaking a sweat!"
"Just realized he was hit by $1.3 billion defamation lawsuit for his election fraud allegation."
Funny Caption #87
"This bloke is swimming over the alcohol limit."
"Things ain't going too swimmingly for him."
"Free and natural sand facial scrub for men...From Revalon."
"Crikey! That's not what I bloody call an Australian crawl, even if you're an Aussie mate!"
"She sees Sim swims by the seashore."
"An Early sign of the devolution of Homo sapiens to return to the ocean."
"Shoring up a pump and dump operation."
"This awkward caterpillar crawl is eventually evolved into the beautiful butterfly stroke we all come to know and love."
Funny Caption #88
| Trump Buddha statue sold on Taobao in China with the tagline "make your company great again" |
"What the hell is this? Jesus frigging Christ!"
"Designed and made in China."
"Why should only American get to worship the man?"
"When capitalism trumps Buddhism."
"If Homer Simpson can be turned into a Buddha statue (S16E12), why not Trump?"
"Trump studies Buddhism in Nipple or Button."
"The picture that appears under the dictionary entry 'Oxymoron'."
"Omg many pat me hon. Omg many pat me, hon..."
"Serenity...Serenity now! SERENITY NOW!! SERENITY NOW!!!"
Funny Caption #89
| Convair model 118, the first flying car (1947) |
"I think this design ain't gonna fly."
"This contraption is operating on a pair of wings and a prayer."
"Yesterday I spotted an UFO in the sky: an Undeniable Funny Oddity."
"I own this. So take that, John Travolta! No, don't. It's mine!"
"Should I land it on a car park or an airport?"
"Is it a bird? Superman with a bum bag? No, it's a plane giving birth to a car!"
"Am I only allowed to fly on the left? And should I only drive on the starboard side?"
"'Stay the hell away from my car roof, flyboy!', the driver shakes his fist in the air."
"Who can say 'no' to a hitchhiking car with a nice pair of headlights?"
"Your wish of engaging the mile high club in a car can finally be realized with this baby."
Funny Caption #90
| Australian wombat and its dropping |
"Cube shaped dung? No bullshit or horseshit. It's wombat dropping from Down Under."
"When it comes to the business of waste disposal, wombats don't cut corners."
"Proof that wombats get their 3 square meals everyday. You're what you eat."
"For the last time, I'm a Wombat from Australia, not an Ewok from NZ where Star Wars was filmed!"
"Tired of playing with Rubik's Cube? Why not try Wombat's Poop instead!"
"Wombats don't 'cut some brownies'. They just come out that way."
"Finally, Nature shows us that it is possible to pull off the trick of getting square pegs out of a round hole."
"Not that I haven't tried, but no dice! Just bloody angry grapes (the Grapes of Wrath)!"
Funny Caption #91
"The 'R' in the gear box turned out to be the 'Rollover' function."
"I've just installed the latest anti-carjack feature."
"Hello! What do you mean that your car is possessed? You mean 'repossessed', right?"
"This car has just heard a hilarious joke."
"That's not what I meant when I said you should do car flipping on the side."
"It threw a temper tantrum after a visit to the car accessary shop, and refuses to go home."
"Another alcohol fueled car that's way over the limit. Throw some cold water on its hood should wake it up from its drunken stupor."
Funny Caption #92
| Apple's emoji introduced during the pandemic. Here are some possible meanings or suggestive uses... |
"First time smoker."
"I think you're just blowing smoke, dude!"
"Boi, I'm getting a brain freeze from the Slurpee!" (in a Jerry Lewis high-pitched voice)
"First morning 'aloha' in Antarctica or Alaska (but not in Hawaii)."
"Reaction to news of the recriminalization of cannabis."
"I should stop smoke-jogging like that William Hurt character in Body Heat."
"Phew! Dunno how much longer I can suck in my stomach while a girl passes by."
"Sorry honey. I'll try harder to last longer next time."
Funny Caption #93
| Golden statue of Trump at CPAC in Orlando (2021), made by Shijiazhuang D & Z Sculpture Co., China |
"It's not just his wardrobe of long ties that's made in Chy-nah."
"Did somebody melt down the Golden Calf and made into his image?"
"This statue would blend invisibly like a chameleon into his New York home."
"Die-cast or type-cast?"
"Somewhere in the Enchanted Land of Free, the Tooth Fairy or Tinkerbell is looking for her magic wand. (Is that as bad as a cop losing a gun?)"
"Christ, I was able to see, and now I am blinded by all that glitter. Amazing, Grace my dear!"
Funny Caption #94
| Candy striper sold cigarettes to patients in hospital Photo taken circa 1960s |
"Take 1 Lucky Stripe after breakfast, and 2 Camel after dinner."
Funny Caption #95
| Belle Starr - an outlaw - on a horse, Arkansas, 1886 |
"Why don't you come up and see me sometime?" - Mae West
"The bigger a man's gun, the smaller his doodlewick." - Calamity Jane
"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!" - Groucho Marx
"When I'm good, I'm very good. When I'm bad, I'm better." - Mae West
"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted." - Mae West
"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" - Mae West
Funny Caption #96
| Laptop Compubody Sock |
"Over the top computer privacy."
"Isn't this a socking bright idea?"
"The most eye catching for-your-eyes-only tool."
"Data privacy? No sweat with this hot sweater; it comes in wool or cashmere."
"While I'm protecting my data, feel free to steal my phone / wallet / bag under my nose."
"When a Guy Fawkes mask just isn't anonymous enough."
"Man-machine interface could never be more intimate."
"A fright or flight response to privacy."
"Dropping a subtle hint to the passenger next seat that you aren't in a talking mood."
"I wear my paranoia with a woolen jumper."
"Is that you, agent Maxwell Smart? Mr. Bean?"
"It's one thing to wear it in a plane, and another in a bank."
"In the 1920s, we ushered in the picture tube; in 2005, we've got You Tube; and now hail the arrival of the Sweater Tube!"
"Yo yo bro! The new geek is in the hood!"
Funny Caption #97
| The lo-res mirage of a pair of pants being worn backward / no visible zipper |
"The iron is broken, so a waffle iron was used for pressing my pants. Sad!"
"Excuse me America, my eyes are up here!"
"The media has got it backward, I'm just leading from behind."
"Has his fly flown away?"
"Tailor tailor, you're fired!"
Funny Caption #98
| Mao Mao the famous professional kitty car model making an appearance in an auto show in Chongqing, China, 2020 |
"Move it, you dog slow driver!"
"Only people walk down a catwalk. I drive down to it."
"Cat can do whatever birds can."
"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here!"
"I'll accept Bitcoin, but never Dogecoin. Never!"
"Car + Cat = Cool Ca$h !"
Funny Caption #99
| An US Postal Service promotion for baby by parcel post in 1910 |
"You've got mail...child!"
"Where do you stick the stamps? Top right corner of the kid's forehead?"
"I hope they are generous with styrofoam or bubble wraps! (if they were available back then)"
"U.S. Postal Service had done a corporate takeover of the stork's business of baby delivery."
"People, remember use only boxes that are marked with 'This Way Up', and 'Fragile'. Also, poke some air holes for God's sake."
"One possible advertising slogan could be 'We gladly lend the midwives a helping hand'."
Funny Caption #100
| Cat owner invites neighbours to reclaim items stolen by her feline pet Esme |
"Excuse me, I'm not a thief, I'm a natural born cat burglar!"
"Tired of stealing hearts, she decides to steal something more tangible."
"Shaming or apologizing? The difference is a thin cloth line."
"I was thinking of keeping a cat, but this gives me paws."
"On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me. 10 pairs of gloves, 9 facial masks, 8 bathing suits, 3 paint rollers, and a length of fabric too."
