The pressures of daily life can drain your marriage of joy. Both of you are so caught up in your individual and relationship problems that you don’t know how to even start feeling the love again. Many married people fall into this state, and it’s common to ask yourself can I repair my marriage with vacation?

In many cases, a vacation together is a reasonable approach when you’re feeling disconnected from your partner. A vacation could rekindle your love for each other, but success relies on the reasons behind your marital problems. 

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When Can a Vacation Fix Marital Problems?

Some marital problems are much worse than others. Are you just feeling “meh” about each other, or are you simmering with resentment and anger? If you’re experiencing the following issues, quality time together in a fun location could really help you find pleasure in each other’s company again.

You love each other but are too tired and busy to show it.

Most people can relate to this. Fatigue and responsibilities have made one or both of you irritable. Neither of you have the energy to nurture the relationship, and you’re just stuck in a holding pattern going through the motions. Time to escape the daily grind and just have fun together could recharge your love batteries and do you both some good.

You’ve put other people before your marriage for too long.

Whether you’re raising children or caring for aging parents or both, you’ve simply stopped giving your spouse attention. You may feel like you don’t have the bandwidth to interact with your partner. You might both be in this state. 

Aside from family caregiving stress, people also shift all of their time to their job, hobbies, or social group.

You can’t ignore your spouse for forever and expect to be happy together. If both of you want to recommit to your relationship, then a vacation together will give you the space to relax and connect with each other the way you used to. 

You miss having fun together.

Life is demanding. When adulting takes over your life, you may feel like you and your spouse never get to go out and play. Couples travel is exactly what you need. A weekend getaway or extended vacation will put you back into spring break mode.

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You have been through some difficult things.

Tragedies and other serious challenges can rob you of the energy to nurture your marriage. Many types of difficulties can place chronic stress on a spouse, like:

• Serious illness
• Death or disability of a loved one
• Legal troubles
• Workplace bullying or harassment

Loaded down by the burdensome emotions that come with these difficulties, you probably retreated into yourself. You may have felt like you were such poor company that you avoided your spouse. 

Once you get through the worst of whatever has been draining you, you can think about ways to fix the marriage. A vacation for the two of you, without the children if you have any, could do you a lot of good. New scenery draws you away from your troubles and could help you feel grateful for having a spouse at your side. 

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When a Vacation Can’t Fix a Marriage

Travel for married people can be a great thing, except when you aren’t in love anymore or actually hate each other. If you’re hoping to fix your marriage with a vacation under these conditions, you could be setting up yourself for a miserable time. Instead of paying for a weeklong resort stay, you might do better to save up for a divorce attorney.

There’s abuse.

A nice vacation isn’t going to fix a marriage plagued by physical or emotional abuse. I suppose if you aren’t planning on splitting up, it could be a nice change of pace to be abused in an exotic location.

You can’t afford it

Financial troubles are a leading cause of marital stress. It’s hard to feel hot for each other when your shopping habits, gambling addiction, or job loss is slowly stripping you of any hope of physical comfort or security.

Blowing money on a vacation together might be fun in the short term, but the added debt will only send you deeper into financial oblivion. 

You just don’t like each other anymore.

Have you both devolved into grumpy roommates? Will you be able to have fun on your trip? Marriage counseling would be a better first step. If you make progress, then you can splurge on a trip and hopefully enjoy your togetherness.

Can a Vacation Fix a Marriage?

It’s hard to speak in absolute terms about relationships. When you’re asking if you can repair my marriage with vacation, the determining factor will be how much damage has been done. A marriage that is spinning its wheels due to the distractions of daily life or overwhelming events could benefit from the couple taking a vacation.

When two people go on a vacation for the purpose of rebuilding their relationship, consider the following advice:

Set Expectations

One fabulous couples vacation isn’t going to erase the damage of multiple years of disappointment or resentment. It can, however, be a first step in a new direction with a renewed sense of excitement and appreciation for your relationship. If both of you want to do better, you can put the plan in motion in a pleasant setting.

Travel for Married People Can Work as a Transitional Space

Use your trip as a way to separate the past from the future. Become present with each other living in the moment during the vacation. Let this be the stepping stone to a future of more mutual happiness. 

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Choose a Destination That Both of You Are Enthusiastic About

Neither of you should feel dragged to a place you don’t want to be. A vacation to fix marital problems will ideally take you to a place that you both find interesting and romantic. The goal is to slow down the pace of your life and have some privacy. Consider avoiding destinations that would be very busy and hectic.

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