Depending on your taste and perspective, the 90s may have been a musical Golden Age, wasteland, or somewhere in between. If you ask us, these 90s hits could go the way of the floppy disk, Furby, and portable CD player, and our playlists wouldn't miss a beat.
1. Sisqo: “Thong Song”
At its peak, this Song simply went. But it's one of those tracks that's tied to the era in such a way that it doesn't really translate to the new era.
2. Aqua: “Barbie Girl”
This song exists only for nostalgia, and if you hear it, it's probably being played out of some sense of irony. Either way, it's super tacky.
3. Los del Rio: “Macarena”
While your body will want to move when the pulsating synths blast your ear, your brain knows better. The “Macarena,” both the dance and the song, deserve a plot in the musical graveyard. Perhaps you can bury it next to “U Can't Touch This” and the Hammer Dance.
4. Rednex: “Cotton Eye Joe”
If it hadn't been for “Cotton Eye Joe,” I would have never known the country-techno genre was a thing. Who are the Rednex, and what did mankind do to deserve their ear-piercing, fiddle-fueled wrath?
5. Britney Spears: “…Baby One More Time”
The internet's mob of outraged offense-takers are, for the most part, exhausting. A broken alarm clock is right once a day, though. Hopefully, the perpetually outraged Twitter censors will catch wind of the lyrics in Britney Spears's “…Baby One More Time” and put the kibosh on it. A 17-year-old singer requesting to be hit “one more time”? What is going on here?
With more than 10 million copies sold, it is one of the most popular singles of all time (not just the 90s). It's just not one of the singles we want in our shuffle.
6. Smash Mouth: “All-Star”
First, condolences to lead singer Steve Harwell's family. That said, the passing of a lead singer does not negate the borderline criminal manner in which the public has been bombarded with “All-Star.”
In fact, the overplaying of Smash Mouth's major hit correlated with the rise of participation trophies. Telling everyone they're an all-star can diminish their ability to overcome adversity. Surprised you didn't know that, Smash Mouth.
7. Tom Cochrane: “Life Is a Highway”
Cochrane (and the music video for this well-worn hit) makes it seem like life is all convertibles on breezy two-lane highways. When life has you down, though, it feels more like being stuck in bumper-to-bumper during rush hour.
8. Lou Bega: “Mambo No.5”
Did you know that Lou Bega is German? Or that “Mambo No.5” is a cover of Cuban musician Damaso Perez Prado's version released in 1949?
Did you know that your quality of life would not decline in the slightest if you never heard about Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Rita, Monica, Erica, Tina, Sandra, Mary, and Jessica ever again? All of these things are verifiably true.
9. Semisonic: “Closing Time”
Semisonic's “Closing Time” is a veritable jam, but it's one of those songs that instantly makes you feel old. The song's piano strokes sound more and more like the pendulum of time with each passing year. If you're going to pick a song from the 90s, why not choose one with more of a feel-good vibe?
10. Blink-182: “All the Small Things”
Blink-182 has several songs that age like fine wine, with “I Miss You” and “Feeling This” being among them. Most of their earlier, rougher hits, including “All the Small Things,” age like a dog with a rockstar's lifestyle.
11. Green Day: “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”
Green Day titled this nostalgia-centric song perfectly because we should say “Good Riddance” to overplayed 90s alt-rock hits. Once you walk off your high school's graduation stage, there is no reason to hear “Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road…” ever again.
12. Sugar Ray: “Fly”
If you want to fly, book a flight with Delta. Otherwise, hand over the aux cord and stop playing the 90s sensations that were played out back in the 90s. It's time to move on from Sugar Ray, isn't it?
13. Hootie & The Blowfish: “Only Wanna Be with You”
“Only Wanna Be with You” peaked at number 6 on the Billboard Hot 100 and has remained a staple on summer barbecue playlists long after its release in 1993. This ode to monogamy, though, is a victim of its popularity.
14. Barenaked Ladies: “One Week”
It's no surprise why “One Week” became a massive hit. The song has an infectious chorus, genre-bending staccato lyrics, and positive vibes.
Outside of your Class of '99 reunion, is there ever a good time to play “One Week?”
15. 4 Non Blondes: “What's Up?”
“What's Up” was a common source of disdain among those who lived through the '90s and never wanted to hear certain songs again. The 4 Non Blondes was considered a one-hit wonder, but unfortunately for the band, fans appear tired of their one big song.
16. Chumbawamba: “Tubthumping”
While the message of getting up after you're knocked down is as motivational as it gets, we can only hear a chorus so many times before we lose it. At this point, playing “Tubthumping” might violate the Geneva Conventions.
17. Eiffel 65: “Blue (Da Be Dee)”
Some of the biggest hits of the 90s, including “Blue”, were novelty songs. Novelties don't stand the test of time. Who would have thought that a song whose entire premise was a color (blue) would not be timeless?
18. Whitney Houston: “I Will Always Love You”
Beautiful voice. Iconic singer. Great song worthy of all the praise it received in the 90s. But “I Will Always Love You” suffers from the same overexposure that every song on this list suffers from.
Again, we love this song, but we'd love it even more if we didn't have to hear it all the time.
19. Sheryl Crow: “All I Wanna Do”
To be honest, “All I Wanna Do” already skewed heavily towards the female demographic, even at its peak popularity. The ceaseless inclusion of this song in advertisements and generic feel-good playlists has made even the loyal female demographic tired of Sheryl Crow's overplayed song.
Now, all we wanna do is turn the volume down when “All I Wanna Do” comes on the radio.
20. Nirvana: “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
The phrase “too much of a good thing is a bad thing” exists for a reason. Too much “Smells Like Teen Spirit” convinced weary listeners that Teen Spirit was a smell to be avoided at all costs.
It's also one song that doesn't fit well into adult life. Does it go on the reading playlist? The backyard barbecue playlist? No. Teen Spirit came from the 90s, and in the 90s it should stay.
21. Aerosmith: “I Don't Want to Miss a Thing”
The theme song to 1990s space thriller Armageddon, Aerosmith's “I Don't Want to Miss a Thing” is officially played out. In fact, if you gave us the choice of listening to this song for a day straight or allowing an Armagenddon-level asteroid to crash into Earth, it would be a tough choice.
22. Sublime: “Wrong Way”
For a band that so often sounds like California sunshine, the lyrical content of “Wrong Way” is heavier than an amplifier For that reason, “Wrong Way” is a song we wouldn't mind never hearing again.
23. Sixpence None the Richer: “Kiss Me”
If it weren't for “Kiss Me,” how would 90s kids have signaled their romantic intentions to their crushes? Now that the song has served its purpose, let's retire it for good.
24. No Doubt: “Don't Speak”
I'd argue that most singles from No Doubt got stale about a week after they hit the airwaves. Despite disc jockeys playing songs like “Don't Speak” on an endless loop, some people felt that No Doubt's catalog wasn't necessarily for the popular masses.
If I saw someone in line waiting to request “Don't Speak” to the DJ, I'd have one request for them: Don't speak.
25. Matchbox 20: “3AM”
Rob Thomas is a bona fide hitmaker, but Matchbox 20 had several hits that never felt particularly hit-like. “3AM” fell right in the wheelhouse of 90s soft-rock hits that were catchy but didn't really make you feel good. These songs toed the line between neutral and sad, and those aren't the sort of vibes we seek out 30 years later.
26. P. Diddy: “I'll Be Missing You”
Once revered as one of the seminal hip-hop songs of the 1990s, P. Diddy's “I'll Be Missing You” seems to have lost its luster. Some feel that the tribute to the Notorious B.I.G. is too sentimental to be a song you play with any regularity. Plus, Diddy has profited far enough off Biggie's death, hasn't he?
