With very few air travellers the good Security staff at Auckland International were a bit more chatty than usual.

I was asked where I was going.

"The USA."

Business or Pleasure?

At this point, I smirked 😏.

What kind of an S&M reprobate do you take me for?

That's quite a kink. 

"Yeah I've got this fetish for wearing masks and leaving a relatively safe country and entering one with a raging pandemic and a very unstable political system so I can sit relatively safely in a hotel room gorging myself on overly processed food and subsequently annoying all of my internet friends for 2 weeks"

Oh and I have my Birthday on Monday.

I should have just said I was going to a birthday party. Fewer words but less of a tale.