There’s a force inside us. It is up to us to find balance in our force.

May the force be with you, today, May the 4th. After recently watching the Star Wars movie, the Last Jedi, I find myself pondering one scene (until 1:05). It’s only one minute of the entire movie, but the scene stuck with me as I continue to write about practical philosophy. There is Balance in everything: good and evil, peace and violence, light and dark.

It is up to us to find the balance between it all. The force is the fight between our primitive mind and our higher mind. There is a constant battle between our evolutionary impulses and our modern sensibilities. When our impulses control, we make terrible decisions. Simultaneously, our primitive minds help us create amazing art, enable us to move quickly on decisions, and give us the strength to love unconditionally.

Balance is necessary

Much of what I read and write about surrounds avoiding the primitive mind. I imagine putting my primitive mind on a leash to enable my higher mind to make all my decisions. I confess that I am guilty of believing that logic and reason should rule above all else. Very often, I find myself placing reasoning to my feelings, meditating on the logic surrounding every decision I make. I tell myself that I am always in control of my reactions.

But, what is life? When I become hot, like when I become enraged or excited, I breathe it out. I slow my breathe and lower my pulse. I use every opportunity to come back to the present. But, the present is where these feelings exist. And, it’s okay to feel angry and excited. It’s wonderful to experience the full range of emotions associated with living. When practicing mindfulness, I often push the feelings aside and sit with the logic behind the decisions. Too often, I overanalyze every piece of every situation. Then, I lose sight. I forget that logic and reason cannot explain everything. I lose the tree in the forest.

Each tree is special

It is just as important to cherish the pieces as it is to cherish the whole. Once a tree dies, it will never return. There’s a new life forming with the tree’s death, and there is a birth. There is an opportunity in every failure, and there are ways to fail when everything is going right.

Balance is necessary to ensure that the forest and the trees receive equal attention. A little rage today won’t result in an angry life as a little bit of love today won’t result in a happy life. Taking every decision to its logical conclusion before making it doesn’t mean that emotions won’t play a role in each decision. There are many instances in which one should avoid emotional decision-making, and a well-balanced individual can identify when emotions can and should play a role.

Becoming reborn

As children, we are raw with emotions. Our ability to make logical, thoughtful, well-grounded decisions doesn’t take hold fully until our brains are fully developed. Even then, it takes much effort to become a thoughtful decision-maker. The highest level of psychological development is known as self-authorship.

While most of us likely will never attain self-authorship, it is a goal worth pursuing. Between childlike emotional decision-making and self-authorship are many layers. When navigating the balance between emotions and logic, we must continuously iterate to strive towards self-authorship. Some people never change because they fail to see the change in others. We must have the courage to become reborn, over and over, until we can no longer improve.

Projecting and reflecting

One big reason we are slow to change is that we project our beliefs and values onto others. This is why it’s critical to understand, down to the core, viewpoints that differ from your own. Writer Kevin Kelly recently turned 68 and offered 68 pieces of unsolicited advice. Two of these pieces of advice struck me as relevant for this topic:

1. Learn how to learn from those you disagree with or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.
2. Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

Combining these, I offer this piece of advice:

While listening to someone, especially someone you disagree with, keep asking them “is there more” until there is no more. Once there’s no more, see if you can find the truth in what they believe.

My action item for this post is to stop projecting and start to reflect after learning until there is no more. I will find some Truth in what others believe. Then, I will use this truth to reflect on my own truths so that I can find more balance within my force.

As Luke Skywalker said in the scene from the beginning: “just breathe, reach out with your feelings…what do you see?”