A report suggests that punters who waste their money on expensive smartphones are generally happy to do so and Apple fanboys are the most incandescently joyful people in the whole world.

Beancounters at J.D. Power added up some numbers and divided them by their shoe size and found that Samsung phones rank highest in overall satisfaction among AT&T and Sprint customers. T-Mobile and Verizon customers liked Apple iPhones best. Those who spent the most on their phone were happier than those who made a more sensible financial decision.

J.D. Power customers who pay more for their phones report higher satisfaction.  Logically, the analysts think,  this is because the high-cost phones perform better. Of course there is very little difference technology wise why higher price phones would perform much better. The flagship phones often have marginally better stats than mid-range phones.

What J.D. Power should have looked at was the pyschology of the people who buy expensive phones.  If having spent more than $300 more than they need to, do they have to justify their purchase?

The premium phones often have a few more bells and whistles than the mid-range phones but do punters actually use them or can they spot the difference between a few more pixels on the cameras.

The Tame Apple Press is furious at the study because it suggests that people will be as happy at wasting their cash on a high end Samsung as they would be an iPhone 7.

“The figures are for August, I wonder how much that will change when the exploding Samsung Note 7 fiasco is taken into account,” sulked one Apple fanboy, er technology reporter.