Welcome to the radioactive playground of Amazon’s Fallout TV series, where the only thing more potent than the radiation is our collection of quotes! So grab your RadAway and brace yourself for a journey through some of the best quotations from the show.
Warning: spoiler alert!
Fallout Episode #1:
Lucy: My reproductive organs are intact. My hygiene well maintained, and yet, I have been unable to find a suitable marriage partner. At least one I’m not related to. And we have rules about that for a reason.
—
Lucy to Chet before opening the door to Vault 32 to meet her future husband: Chet, what’s going on?
Chet: Lucy, I love you.
Lucy: We all know that, Chet. Messing around with your cousin, it’s all well and good for kids, but it’s not sustainable for long-term sexual practice, you know?
—
The Ghoul to Bounty Hunters right after being unearthed: Well, well, well. Why, is this an Amish production of The Count of Monte Cristo… or the weirdest circle jerk I’ve ever been invited to?
—
Fallout Episode #2:
Knight Titus running away from a Yao guai (bear): Holy shit. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Oh fuck! No, no, no, no! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! No!
—
Chicken collector to Maximus after Maximus saved him from a farmer: You, sir, are a scholar and a gentleman. You should be commended.
Farmer to Maximus: I’m sorry, okay? Don’t-don’t murder me. It’s just… The guy was fucking my chickens.
Maximus: Okay. On your way, citizen.
—
Ghoul after Lucy shot him with a tranqualizer gun: Well, now, that is a very small drop in a very, very large bucket of drugs.
—
Dr. Wilzig to Lucy after taking a cyanide pill: Vault-Tec Plan D. It was the most humane product that Vault-Tec ever made. It was quick, painless. T-Tasted like banana. I… I was surprised it wasn’t more popular.
—
Fallout Episode #3:
Lucy to Ghoul: You can’t treat people like this.
Ghoul: Yeah? Why’s that?
Lucy: Because of the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
Ghoul: Yeah, well, the Wasteland’s got its own golden rule.
Lucy: Oh? What’s that?
Ghoul: Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.
—
Fallout Episode #4:
Lucy to Snip Snip (Mister Handy, General Atomics International Mark 4 Robot): You know, that… that creature that brought me here, he…
Snip Snip: You seem unhappy.
Lucy: He did not treat me very courteously.
Snip Snip: Really?
Lucy: When I pointed out that he wasn’t following the Golden Rule, he put a leash around my neck and he made me drink from puddle water that I’m pretty sure was just some kind of animal pee.
Snip Snip: Well, that is interesting.
Lucy: And I thought I was here to be a sex slave.
Snip Snip: What?! No! What a disgusting idea. I’m simply going to harvest your organs.
Lucy: Huh?
—
Fallout episode #6:
Maximus to Lucy: You smell good.
Lucy: What? Oh. You want to have sex?
Maximus: You mean use my c*ck?
Lucy: Yeah.
Maximus: I don’t know. Uh, that weird thing could happen.
Lucy: What weird thing?
Maximus: Well, it’s just, for some guys… not me… uh, but for some guys, you know, when they make it move, it gets all big and hard like a big pimple and then it pops. And they say it can happen to anybody, but it’s still, it’s… it’s gross.
Lucy: You know, that’s… uh, that’s actually completely normal. It happens all the time. Every time, ideally.
Maximus: I’m a knight. Um, a knight of the Brotherhood. We’re-we’re not supposed to.
Lucy: Okey dokey.
—-
Fallout episode #8:
Barb Howard: A nuclear event would be a tragedy, but also an opportunity. Perhaps the greatest opportunity in history, because when we are the only ones left, there will be no one left to fight. A true monopoly. This is our chance to make war obsolete, because in our current societal configuration, which took shape without intentional guidance, we have friction, we have conflict, and we have war. And war, well… War never changes.
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