Have you recently moved into a new House and it already feels like there is something off about the place? Do you often hear creeks and bumps in the middle of the night or pieces of furniture in places they were not before? Do you see dead people?
Well, if you can relate to any of that, it sounds like you might exist in a haunted house movie, but that is no reason to panic just yet. Those kinds of classic horror films actually have the highest survival rate when compared to other spooky subgenres, especially if you can prepare yourself by studying the following scenarios that are likely to happen when you share a living space with the non-living.
Your Hope To “Start Over” In This New House Falls Flat
If you purchased your new home as a way for you or your family to hit the reset button on life, only to come face-to-face with the dead, you have my deepest sympathies. However, you are not alone since most haunted house movies start this way — from George C. Scott’s grieving protagonist in 1980’s The Changeling to Rosario Dawson’s single mother in Disney’s 2023 Haunted Mansion reboot, most recently.
The House Is A Total Steal
You might not have paid much mind to how unusually cheap your new property turned out to be, chalking it up to it being a fixer-upper or maybe just so happy to find such a good deal. Of course, it will quickly become apparent why, just like when the Lutz’s discovered their house in the Amityville Horror was a crime scene.
The Haunting Could Distract From That Project You’re Working On
If you chose your new home (or rental) hoping it would be perfect for a new creative endeavor, you also have my condolences because you’re never getting that thing done. The ghosts from Insidious cut deeply into Rene Lambert’s (Rose Byrne) songwriting, for instance, and while Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) technically does finish his novel in 1980’s The Shining, it’s a pretty repetitive read.
The Entity Might Wait A Week Or So To Show Its Hand
It probably took a while for you to realize what you were up against, didn’t it? Ghosts and demons seem to operate on the slow-burn horror method, starting off with a few unconcerning noises before resorting to something like possessing a tree that tries to eat your son, like in the allegedly “cursed” classic, Poltergeist, from 1982.
Your Child May See Something You Can’t
Speaking of Poltergeist, was one of the younger members of your family the first to mention something strange going on the house? Kids tend to be more susceptible to paranormal activity, much like six-year-old Carol Anne (Heather O’Rourke), who first announces to the Freelings that, “They’re here.”
Your Kid Might Make Friends With The Entity
If your child never mentioned any weird stuff going on, they might not realize they are interacting with a spectral being and even think it’s just another kid who happened to be in the neighborhood. For instance, in the first of the Conjuring movies, young April Perron (Kyla Deaver) became close to a ghost named “Rory.”
Your Pet May Sense Something Evil
If your kids haven’t noticed anything strange, your pets likely have and they already know it’s bad news, which is why it’s a shame they cannot verbalize their warning. Then again, the black Labrador from 1979’s The Amityville Horror, Harry, arose the Lutz’s suspicions pretty effectively by digging at what turned out to be a gateway to Hell until he bled.
The Skeptic Is Affected The Worst
If you bring up the haunting and no one in the house believes you, that might grant you some immunity from the spirits’ wrath, but could seal the others’ downfall. Take it from John Cusack’s character in 1408, who sets out to prove he has nothing to fear in the titular hotel room, but learns he is dead wrong.
Someone Might Fake A Few Haunting Details
There may come a moment, however, when the skeptics feel validated when proof that the haunting might be hoax comes to light. For instance, in the underrated mockumentary, Lake Mungo, teenager Matthew Palmer (Martin Sharpe) fakes evidence of his sister’s ghost and it is discovered that the seemingly possessed Janet Hodgson (Madison Wolfe) is really good at throwing her voice in The Conjuring 2.
The Entity Might Like To Play With Toys
If you’re wondering how your child could feel unthreatened by a supernatural being, they probably caught them at playtime. When it comes to manipulating objects, some entities prefer your children’s favorite things, like when the unseen presence from 2022’s experimental horror flick, Skinamarink, turned a Fisher Price phone into nightmare fuel.
If You Have Any Crosses, Expect To Find Them Upside Down
If you’re a person of faith, the entity might use that against you, too, by turning crucifixes in the house into a symbol of evil with a simple flip. In The Conjuring 2, Janet’s room is covered in crosses — all of which are turned upside down before her eyes.
The Building Interior Could Change Before Your Eyes
Some entities might go the extra mile and manipulate the house itself by rearranging the architecture in implausible ways, like in the Overlook Hotel from The Shining. In less subtle cases, they could magically alter parts of the house like it’s made of clay — something Jay Evers (Eddie Murphy) blames on termites when he witnesses a door physically expanding in 2003’s The Haunted Mansion.
The Basement Is The Last Place You Want To Be
There is no real safe place in your house, but there might be one area where the presence is at its strongest and, in most cases, that will be the part of the house closest to Hell. Case in point: demonic passageways found in a basement in the The Amityville Horror and the found footage thriller favorite, Hell House LLC.
Mirrors Might Mess With Your Head
Honestly, in your situation, I’d lose or cover up all your mirrors because they can be a ghost’s most reliable manipulation tool. In addition to another killer scene in Poltergeist when a paranormal researcher checks his reflection and becomes convinced he is pulling his face off, there are entire movies about killer mirrors, like the Mike Flanagan’s underrated thriller, Oculus, or Alexandre Aja’s aptly titled, Mirrors.
