Our child isn’t an inborn talent

According to the dictionary, to be talented is to “have a natural aptitude or skill for something”. Yet many of us cannot pull a Mozart, learn instruments and compose piano concertos by the tender age of 4. Instead, what manifests in us are inclinations and strengths in certain areas, which are carefully (or casually) honed from dull edges into sharp blades by practice and experience.

All those artist friends you know whose art you admire? Their “talents” were cultivated, through years of scribbles and sketches and struggles to develop an art “style” to call their own.

We know you know this and want to find your child’s “talents” early to help them become successful and fulfil their fullest potential. Throughout, the hope that what they excel in, with some help, can become a future Career or pursuit burns bright.

But the truth is this: in today’s world, cultivating strengths to a high level needs time, money, and great determination on a child’s part: Joseph Schooling’s parents, for example, invested nearly 1 million USD and sacrificed family time together so he could achieve his dream of competing at the Olympics.
The discovered “talent” might also end up being something disliked, or passed up, in the future. As Dr. Susan Biali, author of Live a LifeYou Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You explains, what your child is good at isn’t necessarily something he or she enjoys. Making them do something they don’t like for prolonged periods, leading to burnout, or pressuring them by explicitly identifying something as a talent are entirely possible results.

What parents can do

Try not to “search” for your child’s talents. Instead, continue to expose your children to different things and Activities as they see the world anew, and let them tell you what they like. Let them pursue things at their own pace and don’t begrudge them if they decide not to develop their perceived “talents”—there’s still time yet!

Let your child tell you what they incline towards and enjoy with the help of apps like Pinwi (6-13 years old). Pinwi gets your child to input ratings for the activities he or she has been doing and you will get a report with insights showing you what your child leans most toward. Another boon of such apps is that they often recommend more activities based on your child’s interest patterns and unexplored activities/categories that they could try.

A few years on

The same concept applies to parents with older children nearing University age. The ideal university course is one that your child excels in, right? Or one that gives them a comfortable life through a good career with a high salary?

Honestly, there is no solid “right or wrong” course for your child. We tend to think that, like “talents”, what a person studies in university should ideally be pursued throughout their lives. Accounting graduate? Become a certified accountant and rise the ranks. Law student? Become a successful lawyer that makes partner and open your own firm.

Statistics, however, have only affirmed how university isn’t the end-point: many don’t end up in careers related to their degrees (but find the skills learned useful). Just ask around and you’ll find someone you know falling in this category, whatever the reason.
There are also those who find themselves regretting their chosen courses: according to a survey done by Happi, 1 in 3 Singaporeans regret or are unsure about their choices in uni/poly, while 1 in 3 regret their chosen careers. Someone could go into choose a science degree because of strong results in JC, but hate it miserably after.

Even if your child studies something they like, there’s bound to be parts of it that he or she isn’t that keen in: Literature (at the university level), for example, has theory and everything from Irish to South Asian Literature.

No course is going to be a perfect fit

Even at the age of 19/20/21, chances are high that your child is still trying to figure out what he or she should do – and this includes balancing their choices with job prospects/passions/talents. Sit down and discuss their future aims and aspirations with them first before finding a suitable course that will help them achieve their goals.

If they’re still undecided, but realistic, look towards courses that future-proof them by imparting skills transferable across different industries. Ultimately, your child should consult seniors that went to university before them for advice, and make themselves aware of the myriad of opportunities available to them at the university setting.

More importantly, make sure prospective courses are researched carefully beyond their descriptions and glamorous marketing materials – so your child does not sign up for something that they did not ask for and regret their decision later!

The journey meanders. But if we continue to pursue exposure, and are willing to wrestle the unknown, there is much to see.

This is a guest post by Digital Senior.