Who do we think wins this week?

Mike: The question of the week is whether (a) did everyone get Deion wrong or (b) does TCU really suck this season?

Andy: Yes to both? And what a way to put a jolt into the early season. Much like the 2014 Miami game, I’m sure the jet fuel of spite will light me up early. Fun trivia fact - the 1993 Colorado-Miami game in Boulder was the first time I ever answered the question, “Who are you for?” with “A dirty bomb”.

Nate M: The clear decisiveness from the media on Colorado makes me want them to crash and burn more than I could have ever dreamed.

Patrick: Hello

Jill: Who are the Huskers playing this week?

Illinois (+4) at Kansas

Andy: Both teams warmup games aside, I think this line is putting all its eggs on the Illini’s tough start against Toledo and ignoring they might have finished 2-3 to end 2022 but the losses were all battles against pretty good teams. KU on the other hand was getting shitmixed in the same stretch. For now, I’d take Illinois to win straight up. Illini 22 Sqwaks 19

Mike: Lots of lines that didn’t make sense two weeks ago, and I suspect are overreactions to week one. Illini 31, Jayhawks 20

Jon:

Nate M: I was a preseason believer but not as much anymore. I’m sure Illinois will still beat the crap out of us but Kansas will win this game.

Patrick: The University of Kansas 23 The University of Illinois 13

Jill: Kansas still plays football? I’m picking the Illini, even though Bert’s teams sometimes look rough to start the season but they’ll have enough to beat the Jayhawks. Ill 28 KU 19

Iowa (-4) at Iowa State

Andy: Uh-oh. After Week 1, daddy’s little klansman is already sitting at -1 on the Baby Ferentz Fire-o-Meter. People are picking them high in the Big Ten West, but I think this is a shit show about to boil over. Ferentz refuses to acknowledge the racial issues which have cost the university millions as well as an offense which would be considered outdated in 1978. And he is definitely blind to the fact his kid is neck deep in blame for both.

This cauldron of slime is ready to boil over. Why not start this Saturday? Iowa St. 22 Iowa Hellman’s Mayo 16

Mike: The untold storyline from last week is how bad both of these offenses were last week. The Cyclones only had 250 yards of offense against Northern Iowa. This looks like a classic Iowa game here. Squawkeyes 9, Clones 5.

Nate M: Iowa wins by 10.

Patrick: University of Iowa 6 Iowa State University 5

Jill: The over/under on this game actually refers to the number of players in trouble for gambling. Hawkeyes defense + special teams 16 Hawkeye offense 6 Iowa State 17

Wisconsin (-6) at Washington State

Andy: Much to everyone’s surprise, Luke Fickell ran it about 60% of the time for over 300 yards in his Wisconsin debut, so the old men of Madison had to put the pitchforks away for another week. Will the Badger Air Raid make it’s debut in Pullman? With a 1-2 punch of Allen and Mellusi and Tanner Mordecai looking a little shaky, probably not. Also, weird things happen in Pullman - I mean besides Ryan Leaf. I can’t quite pull the trigger on a 3rd straight upset here, but I will take the dog to cover. Wiscy 34 Wazzu 30

Mike: I think the Badgers will get their offense more in gear this week. Badgers 27, Cougs 17.

Nate M: I think Wisconsin will win by double digits.

Patrick: University of Wisconsin 48 Washington State University 42

Jill: Badgers all the way. Wiscy 40 Wazzu 19

Texas-El Paso (-1.5) at Northwestern

Andy: I’d rather rewatch Westside - Bellevue West that night. Or Air Bud: Golden Receiver. Better football either way.

Mike: This should be the Peacock game of the week so as few people as possible watch this mess. UTEP 31, NW 20

Nate M: NW might only win one game this year and it’ll be against us. Again.

Patrick: University of Texas-El Paso 23 Northwestern University 10

Jill: If we do a prediction, does that mean we have to watch? Because I don’t want to watch. You can’t make me watch. UTEP 16 Northwestern 15

Nebraska (+3) at Colorado

Andy: As Husker fans start making their way to Boulder, it’s important to keep one thing in mind about the Deion-fest. This is not a committed fan base. I mean, not even marginally so. At best, they will dabble in in college football when success shines its light on them occasionally as it did last weekend in Fort Worth, TX. However, know that they will flee the moment said success leaks away because hanging around losing efforts is not cool at all.

However, based on Deion, an infusion of offensive talent, and, most importantly, more national attention in five days than they’ve received since 2005-present day inclusive, they are ready to storm their home stadium and…outnumber the visiting fans?

Yes, even their press is calling this winning.

Check the article - they are literally dripping with excitement they will outnumber opposition Husker fans. So screw a thoughtful analysis and Georgia-Georgia Tech already claiming it as their rivalry name, this is just Good Old-Fashioned Hate. Let’s take the wind out of those sails before the ship lifts anchor. Huskers 62 Buffys 36

Mike: So the Denver Post is taking the prediction that the Puffs might actually be able to have a minor home field advantage in Boulder as a victory in Denver? That’s a new low for them...and they’ve had Woody Paige on their payroll for years. As for the Puffs, they didn’t look anything like the team I thought they would be in my summer preview. Was I wrong? Obviously some. Probably more wrong was what TCU thought that the Puffs would try to do. And let’s not forget that TCU lost half of their playoff team from last season. The 10 point line swing by Vegas is a huge overreaction, and a correction is coming this week. Huskers 24, Puffaloes 17

Nate M: I believe that if Nebraska has the ball with the lead in the fourth quarter that they will close this game out. Now will Colorado allow that to happen? Probably not. They’ll start off fast and the 60% of the Buffalo fans will go nuts. Colorado wins by 10.

Patrick: (I, in all honesty, have no clue. I am picking this score because I am broken and am falling down a nihilist rabbit hole. Trying to follow the rabbit but he keeps throwing Florida oranges at me. Alice, I think is dead but I can’t tell because I keep falling away from her and she looks cold. She also has the face of Bill Jennings. The Mad Hatter is no longer drinking tea but is having breakfast with Hunter S. Thompson and there are too many grapefruits, the Spanish omelet is too big, and there’s white stuff on the table. Deion is dressed like the Queen of Hearts and Bill McCartney is asking me if I am a believer and won’t stop throwing Jars of Clay tapes at me. I’m going to go hang out with the caterpillar now...) University of Colorado 37 University of Nebraska 36

Jill: A clash of top 3 teams as the defending national champion and #1 ranked Jackrabbits host the #3 ranked Bobcats of Montana. Both teams are fast, confident, and boast solid lines on both sides of the ball. With all that said, of course I’m picking the Rabbits at home! Jacks 37 Bobcats 29