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Twitter Recap: An Ode to Faux Pelini

Since this is the 100th Twitter Recap, it wouldn’t be complete without an ode to our favorite parody account Faux Pelini (composed by our Corn Nation poet Jill aka ranchbabe) along with some of his best tweets from 2015.

AN ODE TO FAUX PELINI

It started funny enough
But without much fanfare
And then the real Bo
One small tweet did share

Custody of a fuzzy cat
Seemed a strange argument
For a football coach
And Fake twitter account

But a funny thing happened
That night of playoff football

A legend was born
In social media folds
Tweeting presidents, popes
Also punters, and bowls


Helping us find cheer
Through a bad chapter
Even unemployment
Could not dull the laughter

We enjoy the intelligent jabs
And the poignant self looks

A fan base that takes
Itself very seriously
Hip hop hogwash
And "sit down please!"

All seem to find smiles
In Faux’s quick hits
Laughter is good for the soul
Even when short on wins

So thank you Faux Pelini
For providing us with laughs

The search for Carl
Should not end on the spot
Nor the obvious questions
So many wish they thought


Keep bringing perspective
And this humor stream
The Big Red needs you
As part of the team

You might not believe this but the NFL investigated itself again and didn't find any problems

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) January 23, 2015

The Patriots did an investigation on themselves and you will not believe what they concluded

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) January 24, 2015

One way to not get the measles is to GET THE SHOT THAT MAKES YOU NOT GET THE MEASLES

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) February 6, 2015

Roses are red Violets are blue Ndamukong Suh Ndamukong Suh

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) February 14, 2015

Do you see this as gold & white or blue & black pic.twitter.com/xXKqn4AaNx

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) February 28, 2015

Quick question if you rob a bank at 2:01 am tonight can they not prove it

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) March 8, 2015

IT'S NOT TOO LATE IF ENOUGH OF US REFUSE TO DO DAYLIGHT SAVINGS WE CAN ALL BE LATE TO WORK MONDAY PLS RT

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) March 8, 2015

WATCH IMMEDIATELY THIS IS NOT A DRILL RT @PPelini: Proper driving technique. @FauxPelini pic.twitter.com/Him0ZYLkyy

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) March 11, 2015

[email protected] Let's worry about guys who test positive for pot when guys stop testing positive for punching family members

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) March 26, 2015

[email protected] Don't feel bad Jesus didn't value his final possessions either

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) March 29, 2015

IF YOU CAN'T SMACK SOMEONE IN THE FACE FOR FUN THEN WHY DO WE PLAY SPORTS

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) April 5, 2015

[email protected] Look on the bright side that's one less day of missed classes for your guys

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) April 5, 2015

[email protected] is it more fun to punch people for free or when you are being paid

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) April 27, 2015

REMEMBER KIDS, IF YOU STEAL THINGS AND ASSAULT PEOPLE THEN YOU MIGHT BE THE #1 PICK AND GET SUPER RICH BUT wait what is the lesson I forgot

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) May 1, 2015

One of the best times to punch someone in the face is right after he says "May the fourth be with you"

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) May 4, 2015

DON'T FORGET THAT REFEREES EXIST TO RUIN OUR LIVES AND FAMILIES

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) June 8, 2015

[email protected] thank u for protecting America and the Astros farm system

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) June 17, 2015

[email protected] You couldn't coach Michigan football why do you think you can run a country

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) June 30, 2015

A 4-0 lead in soccer is the same as: 79-0 in baseball 229-0 in football 541-0 in basketball something something in tennis

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) July 5, 2015

[email protected] Can Ohio State still play them RT @FoxNews: Denver court rules against Little Sisters of the Poor

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) July 15, 2015

[email protected] Turn it to FS1 there are a bunch of Mexicans running around kicking people

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) July 20, 2015

Why would you do a bike ride across Iowa when you could instead not do a bike ride across Iowa

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) July 24, 2015

If these idiots could hit a curve ball maybe they wouldn't be stuck in Little League

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) August 15, 2015

[email protected] do you offer a premium membership where the world doesn't find out you signed up

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) August 22, 2015

Not to brag but I just learned there are hot singles in my area that want to meet me

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) August 27, 2015

And now back to your regular scheduled programming.

FOR THE LAST TIME 9/4 IS NOT BO PELINI DAY

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) September 4, 2015

OH SURE WHEN HARBAUGH SCREAMS HE'S A "FIERY COMPETITOR" BUT WHEN I CHOKE A MAILMAN I'M A "MAILMAN CHOKER"

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) September 12, 2015

Imagine being a Malaysian boy working all night to make Oregon uniforms and then they lose by 6 TDs

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) September 27, 2015

Wisconsin fans are horrible -- beer bellies, baggy sweatshirts, scruffy beards. And the guys are even worse

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) October 10, 2015

this is why you don't judge a new coach after half a season knuckleheads

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) November 8, 2015

[email protected] Nebraska is undefeated at night keep that in mind when you do your New Years Eve playoff picks

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) November 8, 2015

[email protected] why do we live in a world where children are starving and Iowa is undefeated

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) November 15, 2015

Let's just save time by having all college coaches move one school to the right

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) November 29, 2015

You can always identify Iowa fans by their baggy yellow sweatshirts, neck beards and beer bellies, and the guys are even worse

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) December 5, 2015

[email protected]_ReceDavis How is it fair that the Army/Navy game is always played on land

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) December 12, 2015

There's not a clock in volleyball so paying Texas in the championship should be fine

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) December 18, 2015

[email protected] please go stand under the goalpost in your underpants and a stormtroopers helmet and just scream the ref's name

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) December 27, 2015

[email protected] ARE YOU AWARE THEY NAMED A STUPID RULE AFTER YOU

— Fake Bo Pelini (@FauxPelini) December 27, 2015

And now let’s continue with your regularly scheduled Twitter Recap.

A weak body and a soft mind is the worst combination for a young player. Hard to improve your game when you're fighting yourself.

— Phil Beckner (@PhilBeckner) December 29, 2015

That’s a good way to spend the holiday break in KC.

What an educational afternoon pic.twitter.com/u3E1Rhc2q0

— Haley Hanson (@hay_hanson) December 29, 2015

I wonder what else the cat has been eating.

Mom: I walked in on your cat eating butter. That's my boy.

— Alicia Armstrong † (@arm_strong21) December 30, 2015

Speaking of butter…

I think my mom meant turn up but keeps saying churn up.

— Alicia Armstrong † (@arm_strong21) January 2, 2016

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Let's have a great 2016 #Huskers fans! #GBR pic.twitter.com/pUP7c2XCa4

— Mike Riley (@Coach_Riley) January 1, 2016

Faux Pelini and the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl were planning an interesting pre-game ritual.

@FauxPelini some time after 1st half kickoff, we'd say at least 30 minutes or so

— BWW Citrus Bowl (@BWWCitrusBowl) January 1, 2016

@FauxPelini what are our options

— BWW Citrus Bowl (@BWWCitrusBowl) January 1, 2016

@FauxPelini smh like we're really gonna learn the metric system

— BWW Citrus Bowl (@BWWCitrusBowl) January 1, 2016

@FauxPelini no but you gotta stay in that buffalo mascot costume, our pre-game show starts soon

— BWW Citrus Bowl (@BWWCitrusBowl) January 1, 2016

@FauxPelini we can't really tell if he laughed, we're bleeding now, is that normal?

— BWW Citrus Bowl (@BWWCitrusBowl) January 1, 2016

@FauxPelini he said he wanted to send you a thank you note so we gave him your home address hope that's ok

— BWW Citrus Bowl (@BWWCitrusBowl) January 1, 2016

Here are a couple good quotes from Phil Beckner about being patient.

"Long term success is achieved by not trading it for short term pleasure."

— Phil Beckner (@PhilBeckner) January 1, 2016

"People fail because they trade what they want most...for what they want at the moment."

— Phil Beckner (@PhilBeckner) January 2, 2016

Great places to kick in the New Year!

Being in New Mexico is only half of what made these my favorite views from break ❤️ pic.twitter.com/ieS2yTjM2P

— Brooks Brennan (@Bruxy_B) January 1, 2016

Good day to bring in the new year! #daringtobegreat pic.twitter.com/YCelMdy0Y2

— john cook (@jcook2) January 2, 2016

Can he can do it all?

After watching this game idk how McCaffrey didn't win the Heisman? The man does everything. He could probably punt better than me too

— Sam Foltz (@samfoltz27) January 2, 2016

Do you do this with your kids or significant other?

My dads favorite thing to do is tell me we're going one place then actually take me to Lowe's/Home Depot/Ace Hardware/someplace w tools

— Laura Barrow (@lara_bara) January 2, 2016

Nothing beats traveling with the team.

It's weird being in an airport without being in matching jumpsuits with 18 other people.

— Alicia Armstrong † (@arm_strong21) January 2, 2016

Let’s go for another one.

Put up in our locker room a year ago! Dream big! #goldNgoals pic.twitter.com/Iqmj6LCV9X

— john cook (@jcook2) January 2, 2016

What was your first car?

Massive shout out to @Coach_KHunter for helping me choose and buy my first car pic.twitter.com/ZpBgcExvnh

— Jack McVeigh (@JackMcVeigh1) January 3, 2016

And last but not least…

Adulthood is like the vet, and we’re all dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we’re going.

— Brooks Brennan (@Bruxy_B) January 4, 2016

I hope these tweets made your Monday morning and 2015 a bit better. If you missed it, here is last week’s Twitter Recap. GO BIG RED!!!

Poll
What is your favorite Faux Pelini tweet from 2015?

  290 votes | Results



This post first appeared on Corn Nation, A Nebraska Cornhuskers Community, please read the originial post: here

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Twitter Recap: An Ode to Faux Pelini

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