By: REALSPORTS
SportParody Staff Writer

The United States basketball team fell short again in international play, losing last Friday to Greece in the FIBA World Baketball Championship semifinals.

Following the loss, the United States team seemed stunned in disbelief, having just been systematically dismantled (primarily by the simple pick and roll) by a Greek team that was as obscure as it was unpronounceable .

LeBron James, team USA co-captain, refused to believe that his team had just gotten beaten at "real basketball”. "Man, this is a bunch of bullshit”, said an infuriated James. “They don’t play REAL basketball. They actually used all five of their players on offense, instead of just having one player drive into the lane while everyone else stands around. Now THAT’S real basketball."

Panagiotis Yiannakis, coach for the Greek team, admitted to being a little stunned at the victory. "We shot, like what, 66% from the floor? That's what happens when no one plays defense on you.” When asked how his Greek team was able to find so many open shots against the more athletic US side, Yiannakis seemed befuddled at his team'’s success. "I told my guys to keep moving the ball around until someone had an open shot. After about two or three passes, the US defenders seemed confused and frozen at our ball movement. I think they'’re more used to one guy hogging the ball in the NBA.”

Yiannakis also credited a simple gameplan for his team’s effective defense against the NBA superstars. “We knew that they like to drive into the lane 1 on 5, so we just packed the paint with defenders. It didn’t matter that we left players open on the perimeter, they just didn't know how to pass the ball. Even my 5 year old grandson's youth team plays smarter basketball than those ballhogging idiots."

James, meanwhile, didn’t seem too bothered at the US loss. "We were beat by a team with superior shooting, passing, defense, and team play. I don’t know what game they were playing, but it sure as hell wasn't NBA basketball."


Proud to be an American