Real Madrid, on the brink of elimination in every round of the Champions League round of 16, sometimes clinging to little more than a hope and a prayer, naturally won the final last night, albeit this time without any last-minute deed or miracle. No, miracles were wrought throughout the game this time and none other than former Chelsea scoundrel Thibaut Courtois, who delivered one of the team’s best goalkeeping performances of PetrČechin 2012 to give Real their record 14th European title.

Carlo Ancelotti his fourth record title, and Eden Hazard also his coveted medal. Vinícius Junior scored the only goal of the game just before the hour mark, but it was Courtois who really won the game for the Galacticos, making ridiculous save after ridiculous save: obviously none of the Liverpool had the grade to score! the legs! Incidentally,

Courtois’ heroism literally had an added bonus for Chelsea too, triggering a clause in Eden Hazard’s transfer deal, which reportedly resulted in a €20m windfall for the Blues, similar to Real’s La Liga title in 2020, which resulted in a comparable payout.

Hazard was unable to play last night, having only recently returned from the last of his seemingly unending injuries, but on the 10th anniversary of his decision to sign for Chelsea, he saw his Real Madrid dream become a little less nightmarish too.

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