Yesterday was a disturbing day in Hockey on multiple levels. We'll be hearing about the alleged gambling ring headed by reputed hockey capo Rick Tocchet for weeks to come. Everyone and their mother seems to be involved in this mess, from the apparent queen mafiosess Janet Jones, to the newly retired legendary owner Mario Lemieux. Perhaps if Mario wasn't gambling so much, his new heart condition could have been staved off for it bit.
Let's look at this objectively though. If Tocchet were taking bets illegally and has to deal with the consequences of said venture, that's fine, but I'm not about to get high and mighty and ostracize any player, coach, owner, clergyman, doctor, lawyer, deity or otherwise who places a wager on a football game with the local book now and then. I do it. You do it. We all do it or have done it one way or another in the past. It's a hypocritical scenario in this country as it is. Some states say it's legal, others not. It's ridiculous. If people want to be jackasses because they think they know sports and throw away their money (kind of like me...yep, I had Seattle), then that's their prerogative.
Tocchet and whatever mob kingpin roped him in as the spokesman and collector in this scenario could be construed as geniuses. Think about it -- an entire community of rich Canadians betting on American football. I smell a lot of vig. Most of them are probably trying to figure why the field is so short.
Were they betting on hockey? I'm sure somewhere along the lines, some of them did somewhere, but we'll never know about it. Tocchet will own up to the "ring" and stick to the "no hockey" story, and why not believe him? I mean, who the hell bets on hockey, especially in today's NHL? If you're slapping thousands down on NHL games every night, then you've already taken too many pucks to the melon (that last sentence was brought to you by the Canadian accent).
So, hockey fans everywhere will tremble in fear for a few weeks about the state of their already recovering sport. Pond hockey teams in Canada will be ready to sue for the rights to the Stanley Cup should the league shut down again (don't laugh, this actually happened). But by the time the toothless melting pot come skating back from representing their countries in Torino, this will have all blown over.
Speaking of Torino, there was an even more devastating blow to hockey's face yesterday than the gambling scandal. And it involves hockey's faces, well, at least the faces of the U.S. Women's Olympic hockey team. I warn you that clicking on this link could cause nausea, dementia, rash, uncontrollable shuttering, and possible catatonia.
I give you the off-ice photo shoot of our ladies of hockey! And I ask you who in the name of all that is decent and holy in this world, was the marketing genius who decided that we needed to put a face on these women? I think there are two that look like pro-creating won't set the world back 50 years. And what is with the horse ranch setting? Most of these pictures are taken on the ice without helmets in poses, as if the photographer thought, "maybe they'll look a little better if they're in their own element." Some of them, however, are taken at what looks to be a farm, with the girls leaning on fence posts with that "I'm in 7th grade and I'm not smiling so I don't show my braces" look on their face. Either way, they should have left the helmets on.
I don't know if these girls can play hockey or not this year. I'm sure they are one of the favorites, and sure, I wish them all the best as they go to represent our country, but I think it's pretty safe to say that the names Lindsay Wall, Chanda Gunn, and Caitlin Cahow (that last name is too priceless) won't be etching a visual in your memory anytime soon -- at least in that part of the memory we don't want to erase.
Let's look at this objectively though. If Tocchet were taking bets illegally and has to deal with the consequences of said venture, that's fine, but I'm not about to get high and mighty and ostracize any player, coach, owner, clergyman, doctor, lawyer, deity or otherwise who places a wager on a football game with the local book now and then. I do it. You do it. We all do it or have done it one way or another in the past. It's a hypocritical scenario in this country as it is. Some states say it's legal, others not. It's ridiculous. If people want to be jackasses because they think they know sports and throw away their money (kind of like me...yep, I had Seattle), then that's their prerogative.
Tocchet and whatever mob kingpin roped him in as the spokesman and collector in this scenario could be construed as geniuses. Think about it -- an entire community of rich Canadians betting on American football. I smell a lot of vig. Most of them are probably trying to figure why the field is so short.
Were they betting on hockey? I'm sure somewhere along the lines, some of them did somewhere, but we'll never know about it. Tocchet will own up to the "ring" and stick to the "no hockey" story, and why not believe him? I mean, who the hell bets on hockey, especially in today's NHL? If you're slapping thousands down on NHL games every night, then you've already taken too many pucks to the melon (that last sentence was brought to you by the Canadian accent).
So, hockey fans everywhere will tremble in fear for a few weeks about the state of their already recovering sport. Pond hockey teams in Canada will be ready to sue for the rights to the Stanley Cup should the league shut down again (don't laugh, this actually happened). But by the time the toothless melting pot come skating back from representing their countries in Torino, this will have all blown over.
Speaking of Torino, there was an even more devastating blow to hockey's face yesterday than the gambling scandal. And it involves hockey's faces, well, at least the faces of the U.S. Women's Olympic hockey team. I warn you that clicking on this link could cause nausea, dementia, rash, uncontrollable shuttering, and possible catatonia.
I give you the off-ice photo shoot of our ladies of hockey! And I ask you who in the name of all that is decent and holy in this world, was the marketing genius who decided that we needed to put a face on these women? I think there are two that look like pro-creating won't set the world back 50 years. And what is with the horse ranch setting? Most of these pictures are taken on the ice without helmets in poses, as if the photographer thought, "maybe they'll look a little better if they're in their own element." Some of them, however, are taken at what looks to be a farm, with the girls leaning on fence posts with that "I'm in 7th grade and I'm not smiling so I don't show my braces" look on their face. Either way, they should have left the helmets on.
I don't know if these girls can play hockey or not this year. I'm sure they are one of the favorites, and sure, I wish them all the best as they go to represent our country, but I think it's pretty safe to say that the names Lindsay Wall, Chanda Gunn, and Caitlin Cahow (that last name is too priceless) won't be etching a visual in your memory anytime soon -- at least in that part of the memory we don't want to erase.
