Sheltered and innocent Abigail is terminally ill. She knows she will die soon so before she dies, she wants to fulfill her one and only wish - to fall in love. She wants to experience loving someone romantically. But under one strange condition- she wants a man who will not fall in love with her because she doesn't want him to suffer when she's gone. She met Alexander Qinn, the coldhearted and mysterious man. He warns her from the start that he doesn't do love and that he is dangerous. But that made him the perfect man for Abigail. He was exactly the kind of man she was looking for.

Alexander will teach the innocent Abigail about his kind of pleasure while Abigail will show him the joy of doing simple things in life. Their completely different worlds collide, Abi's illness and the mysteries about Alexander will slowly be revealed. Can Abigail handle his own kind of hell? Can Alexander handle her light?

Chapter 1

Take me there

"Mr. Qinn, I really love you!" a woman's voice echoed in the dimly lit underground garage, jolting Abigail and caused her phone to nearly slip from her grasp. 

She was just on her way towards her parked car, but who would have thought that she would witness a confession in this dark, cold place?

"What did you say?" A frigid, husky male voice interjected, its depth sending a shiver down her spine—even though the words weren't directed at her. Maybe it was the sheer force of his voice, or perhaps the way his tone sliced through the air, devoid of all warmth.

"I said I love you," Abigail heard the woman's voice again, "I love you so much! I fell for you the first time I saw you." 

Abigail held her breath, waiting for the man's response, but only silence followed. Despite her curiosity tempting her to steal a glance, she remained frozen, waiting until at last, the man broke the heavy silence.

"Is that all?" was all he responded, causing Abigail to gasp in disbelief at how heartless he sounded.

"W-what?" the woman was obviously utterly shocked.

"Tell me, what do you want?"

"I... I've been in love with you since the beginning. I've been your girl for two months now, but you have never said anything about how you feel about me. Mr. Qinn, I... all I want is... I just want you to love me back."

"We're finished," he declared. His voice remained devoid of any semblance of warmth, each syllable carved from ice and void of emotion.

"W-w-what?"

"I won't repeat myself."

"W-why? Mr. Qinn, what a-are you saying? This is not... The contract I signed clearly stated that I would be your girl for three months! It's only been two months, but now you're saying we're over? What do you mean by—"

"Miss Moore... didn't you read the contract properly?" the man's tone became even colder, almost harsh. "Scott, come over and read the condition she didn't read."

Abigail was left utterly shocked by the conversation unfolding before her. "A contract?" Her mind raced with disbelief. 

Realizing the situation was getting worse, she felt an urgent need to leave. But the fear of being seen kept her frozen. Stuck between escaping and the danger of being noticed, she could only reluctantly stay hidden. 

"Miss Moore, here is one of the two conditions in that contract you signed." Another man started talking. "The contracted girlfriend can demand anything except for two things; love or affection. Once the contracted girlfriend demands to be loved in return, the contract will automatically become null and void."

Abi was so shocked she could no longer stop herself from taking a peek at them. She just couldn't believe what was happening. She couldn't believe that something as outrageous as this was happening in real life. This was absolute madness to someone like her.

When she saw the girl, her hands flew to her own mouth. Isn't that Ina Moore? The famous actress?!

She couldn't believe her eyes. Why would a beautiful woman like her beg for a man's love? More importantly, their relationship was contractual?! This beautiful diva, Ina Moore, was some ruthless man's contracted girlfriend?!

Abigail's widened eyes then shifted to the man, but she couldn't see his face because he had his back to her.

"I warned you long ago. I don't do love and never will. And you of all people should already be well aware of how I deal with anyone who breaks any conditions in the contract." the man's words resounded, and a shudder coursed through Abigail as she witnessed Ina Moore's collapse to her knees. The goddess that many males out there were praising now looked like all her blood was being drained all at once. Then just like that, she was dragged away by a bulky man in black towards another car.

When the car was gone, Abigail finally came back to her senses and quickly hid herself again.

However...

"Come out. I know you're there. Now." The man's command echoed, leaving her so stunned that she remained motionless for an extended beat. She knew he was talking to her and she knew that he was a man who didn't want to repeat himself, so holding her breath, she finally stepped out.

"Come over," the man ordered, and Abigail slowly lifted her face. She was incredibly nervous. She couldn't remember if anyone had ever made her feel this scared and nervous before in her entire life.

As soon as their eyes met, Abigail almost gasped. The man standing before her wasn't merely good-looking; the term was a gross understatement. He existed on an entirely different plane of handsomeness, eclipsing any celebrity she'd ever laid eyes upon. His stature was imposing, his raven black hair seemed to fall naturally under the caress of his fingers, elegantly swept back from his face. Everything about him was a portrait of masculinity that could only be described as perfection. A man simply seemed too handsome to be real! How could a mortal man look this stunning? No wonder such a beautiful woman like Ina Moore begged for his love!

But this stunning creature was glaring down at her. His dark eyes were hostile, making her want to shrink to the floor and disappear. The way he looked at her was definitely the definition of the phrase 'if looks could kill'.

"Who are you? Paparazzi?" Abigail flinched back from the displeasure in his voice. His ice cold eyes glimmered with a dangerous light and it chilled her more than the freezing temperature. She couldn't help but think that this man was definitely the perfect example of the inhumanly beautiful male she often times read about in fictional books.

Swallowing, Abigail forced herself to respond to him. "No, I'm not." She shook her head, but the man's eyes narrowed and then, he moved, walking closer to her.

Every step he took felt like a ticking time bomb to her, but surprisingly, she was able to hold her ground despite her knees shaking a little. When the man stopped just less than a meter before her, she couldn't help but bite her bottom lip. The man was scrutinizing her, looking at her like she was his prey. She knew from one look in those eyes that 'dangerous' was an understatement to describe him.

"Little lamb... did you hear everything?" he asked, his gaze deadlier than the sharpest dagger. She had never seen eyes as beautiful but also as deadly cold as his. He had killer eyes that could pierce through anyone's soul.

"I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to—" Abigail managed to answer when the man suddenly raised his hand towards her. She flinched in fear and instinctively shut her eyes, thinking that the man was going to strangle her.

But that didn't happen.

Slowly, Abigail opened her eyes.

He did not say a word. He was solely focused on her bright yellow knitted scarf. For some reason, the daggers and the ancient glaciers in his eyes seemed to have been washed away and were suddenly replaced with an odd, calm blankness.

She glanced downward and noticed his fingers fiddling with the edge of her knitted scarf. Abigail froze in place once more, her heart racing erratically.

"Yellow..." he murmured to himself as he dropped his hand, and then the look in his eyes changed again but he didn't look harsh and cold anymore like he did moments ago. "Go home," he said, and just like that, he turned to leave.

Abigail exhaled as she watched him moving away from her. She should've been running away now that he finally let her go unscathed, but she just stood there, unmoving, her gaze watching his retreating graceful figure.

Closing her hands so tightly that her knuckles turned white, she suddenly called out.

"Wait, mister, please wait!"

The chauffer had already opened the door for him to enter when her voice echoed in the cold garage.

"What?" he replied without turning to look at her.

Fearlessly, Abigail began walking towards him. She was suddenly high on adrenalin and she felt brave. Her knees had stopped trembling and the fear in her eyes was replaced with something else—resolve.

"Was everything you said true? That you do not do love?" she asked as she stood less than a meter behind him. "Are you really sure you won't fall for anyone?"

The man finally turned to look at her. His dark gray eyes assessed her with disbelief and then, interest.

"From what I understand, you're willing to make someone your girlfriend as long as she won't demand your love, right?" she asked again, her doe eyes, looked determined.

Silence reigned between them for a moment. The man stared at her through his narrowed eyes and he seemed astonished as if he was looking at a certain unbelievable creature.

"Why are you asking?" His lips now curved up in a wicked, amused smile.

"I'm just curious. Is it true?" she answered. 

"What if it is?"

Abigail pressed her lips tight. "If it's true, how can you be so sure? Do you really believe that you will never fall for anyone? Ever?"

What she got as a response was a low chuckle. His laughter bore a devilish quality, accentuating his striking appearance. The mirth didn't quite reach his eyes, yet there lingered a trace of amusement in his demeanor—though she struggled to decipher it fully. He was just an enigma, his expressions a puzzle she found elusive to solve.

"Tell me. What exactly are you trying to say?" he fiddled with the edge of her scarf again, his thin lips still curved up in a dangerous and mischievous smile.

"I... I'm just saying that I don't think you'll be an exception. Maybe you just haven't met that special someone who has an axe to force your heart open."

"Little Yellow, are you saying you want to try me?"

Looking at his eyes, Abigail fell silent for a moment before she nodded her answer. Her eyes were decisive. He laughed.

Creasing her brows, Abigail tried to show him how serious she was, but when she said she was serious, her intensity seemed to have only made the man more amused.

After he stopped laughing, the man spoke. "Are you perhaps thinking that you could eventually make me fall in love? Too bad, Yellow... Countless women have already tried that and besides... I don't think you are capable of it." His eyes traveled from her head down to her toes. "And you heard me correctly, I don't do love. Never. So don't waste your brain cells thinking about it." His voice was smoldering, despite the smile on his face.

But Abigail was unfazed. "How about you try me? I promise, I will not demand for you to love me back." she promised, even raising her hand like a girl scout, causing the man to laugh again.

"Yellow, you're such a brave little girl." His smile faded and a hard edge crept into his voice.

"Please stop calling me Yellow! My name is Abigail. And I'm not a little girl! I'm about to turn twenty-two."

The man's expression abruptly shifted once again and and a chuckle slipped from his lips. His laughter really held a certain enchantment that weaved through her ears like a spell. His unexpected laughter held a remarkably pleasant allure, a sensation she found unexpectedly captivating.

"Indeed, you are one brave, little girl, Yellow. Do you know who I am?"

"No."

"And yet, you're still here blindly offering yourself?"

She nodded, and the man now smirked evilly. He stared at her from her head to toe for the second time as he licked his sexy lips and then stepped forward. His long, graceful finger lifted her chin. "Little lamb, let me tell you this. You're standing before the gates of hell right now. Are you ready to step down to hell with me?" His eyes blazed. A warning was burning within them, and Abigail knew he was more than serious and that the danger might be more than real.

And yet, his warning wasn't enough to make her give in. She had never been this brave—or crazy—in her life.

She was already imagining lots of things in her head. The possible outcome of this madness she was trying to throw herself into of course terrified her, but... every time she thought about her future, was there anything scarier to her at this point Wasn't she looking for something like this? For a man like this?

As the silence dragged on, the man's lips curved up into a triumphant, mocking smile, and his hand landed on her head. He ruffled her straight black hair and leaned in on her. "Hell is not a good place, at least for a little lamb like you. I'm sure you're aware of that. Now run away while this big bad wolf is still being nice and calm." 

And then, he turned to leave so casually, as if nothing had happened. But after three steps, Abigail stopped him again.

"The hell you're talking about," she mumbled, "I... I'd like to see it for myself. Take me there."

Chapter 2

Reason

Abigail was aware she sounded like a woman unhinged.

You're crazy, Abi, a whisper in her head told her but the oddest thing was that she didn't resonate with that sentiment. She was totally sane and completely clearheaded.

This was the most daring thing she had ever done in her life and the most terrifying, too. Yet, she was calmer than ever; more certain about this than anything else.

The man directed a gaze of disbelief at her. His eyes pierced through her as if he was trying to pry into her soul, but when he saw the unwavering look in her eyes, he shook his head.

"Yellow, what's your name?" he finally asked.

"Abi... Abigail Lee."

"Abigail..." he echoed her name while idly playing with her yellow scarf once more. The way her name rolled off his tongue was oddly pleasant.

He seemed to be thinking about something as he stared into her eyes before a wicked, devastating smile appeared on his glorious face. "Sorry, but..." he started as his gaze once again traveled from her head down to her to toes. "I'm not interested in unattractive girls."

His comment and that playful smirk on his face made her blush.

"Just you wait! I will prove to you how attractive I can be!" Abigail was quick to retort. She didn't even know how she managed to speak like this. She was used to not giving any attention to what other people said about her looks. 

But then, the man's response was another fascinating chuckle.

"You really are unbelievable." he said before his expression abruptly shifted again. The corner of his lips turned down in disapproval. "But I'm serious. I'm not into younger girls."

"Ina Moore is just two years older than me." she argued, not backing down.

"Miss Moore is... a mature, sexy woman. And you're..." He raised an eyebrow. "Even though you're two years younger than her, you look like a granny."

Abigail's lips parted. Her embarrassment making her face so red. The way she was dressed up today was indeed a little unfashionable and she was also wearing eyeglasses but she at least knew that she did not look like a granny! Her best friend even called her cute a while ago! 

Wait... could it be that... he's purposely saying these to deter her? Or is he testing her? 

"I purposely dressed like this today." she then told him confidently.

"Oh... really?"

"I will show you."

The man snickered, a subtle shake of his head accompanying his amusement. Then for a moment, an unusual and seemingly dangerous gleam flickered in his eyes while he observed her. Yet, as abruptly as it had appeared, the glimmer vanished when his hand came to rest on her head.

"Go home, Yellow. It's late." He smiled and entered his car.

"Wait!" she called out, but the man only waved at her before the car then left, leaving her astounded.

Abigail bit her lip and buried her face into her palms before she entered her car. Her heart was still pounding. The man was long gone, and yet, she was still nervous?! Could it be that this nervousness was the aftershock of her bravery? 

Shaking her head to clear her mind, Abigail had just started the engine when someone knocked on the car's window.

A man was standing there, smiling at her. The man was wearing a black leather jacket and he was also very handsome. Is there something wrong with this place? Why is it that overly good looking men keep popping out of nowhere?!

Abigail didn't dare roll down her window. What her eyes looked for first were the locations of the CCTV's. When she spotted one right above her car, she relaxed a little, but she was still hesitant.

"You're so damn outrageous Abigail! You didn't fear offering yourself to that scary stranger but now you're afraid to open your window to this harmless looking one?!" she mumbled to herself, shaking her head as though she was now convinced that she was indeed unhinged.

The man knocked again, flashing his pleasant smile, as if he was using his beauty to lure her out.

"I have something to give you." She read his lips.

With a sigh of resignation, she finally eased the car's window down slightly.

"Hello, Miss..." he grinned, flashing his white teeth at her. He was truly another out-of-this-world beauty. Although, to her, that ruthless man still beat him good when she compared their looks.

"What is it? Do you need something?" she asked politely. The man leaned in and gave her a piece of paper.

"If you want to meet that man again, just contact me and I'll tell you where to find him," he said, smiling kindly at her. He had a pleasant atmosphere about him that made one feel like he had no ulterior motives. He also looked like the kind of man that would easily entice people with just his sweet smile. Still, Abigail had a hunch that this one might be dangerous, too.

"That man?" Abigail creased her brows, trying to confirm, even though

she already knew who he was talking about.

He nodded. "That cold man who told you that you're unattractive." He

grinned, and Abigail blinked at him, blushing again.

"You know him?" she asked after clearing her throat.

"He's my friend."

"W-why would you want me to meet him?"

"Because you want to show him that his judgement is wrong. So let's just say, I'm helping you prove your point." He grinned again, obviously encouraging her.

Abigail creased his brows when continued speaking.

"You don't want to? Did you already change your mind?" he asked, looking a little disappointed.

But the moment he began retracting his hand, Abigail took the piece of paper he was holding out to her.

The man grinned with a sense of accomplishment before stepping back. "Bye, Miss Yellow! Until next time!" he waved, and then before she knew it, he disappeared from her sight, leaving her blinking in confusion and curiosity as she stared at the note in her hand.

...

As Abigail drove away from the city, her thoughts began to wander.

At twenty-two, Abigail had yet to experience a romantic relationship. She was raised in a nurturing, affectionate family, so she had blossomed into a kind-hearted and soft person. People often likened her to unsullied snow – polite, pure, and innocent but many also labeled her 'Miss Goody-Two-Shoes' or 'Little Miss Priss'.

As she was growing up, Abigail had gotten used to other people mocking her, but her grandparents always encouraged and advised her to not let the water around her enter her ship, otherwise, she would sink and drown. She had been raised to keep a positive mindset and she, herself, decided that there was no way she would let those kinds of people drown her.

She had a reason for why she had never had a boyfriend in her twenty- two years of existence. When she was seventeen, she realized that she had a trauma she was afraid of having someone fall in love with her.

Abigail had witnessed just how much her father suffered day by day, even years after her mother died. Her father loved her mother so much that even after nearly two decades since her death, she was still seeing her dad crying at night, looking at his wife's photo. She had seen just how painful it was to lose someone you loved through her father—it was nothing but torture. She even once heard her father saying that he didn't feel alive anymore since that day her mother left him. 

Years ago, Abigail was also diagnosed with the same illness that killed her mother. It appeared that she inherited the illness from her and since then, she'd been battling with it. She was only seventeen at that time and she knew that just like her mother, she only had 5 more years to live.

That was why she always rejected the boys who showed any interest in her. There were a few of them, but her fear would always be triggered, especially when someone confessed to her. All she could say to them was 'sorry'. Due to that, Abigail avoided boys as much as she could. She even purposely dressed quite unfashionably in order to become less attractive.

However, as years passed by, Abigail started to question herself. Will I die just like this? 

The desires that she had been suppressing all this time were getting out of control the closer she gets to her end. She had been dreaming of wanting to experience how it would feel like to love someone. She wanted to know how it would feel to have butterflies in one's stomach, and how it would feel to kiss and embrace that person you loved with all your heart, romantically. She had read fairytales and love stories, and she couldn't help but wish she could at least experience this so called romantic love before she died. That was her only wish right now—to fall in love, to find someone she could fall in love with without fear.

But she was torn. She was afraid and worried sick. She didn't want to leave someone behind to suffer when she was gone. She didn't want anyone to experience the loss and pain her father was going through until now. For years, she'd been thinking about it, and she thought she had already accepted her fate, but now that her due date was getting closer, the desire in her heart only kept on getting stronger. So she decided to be brave and try her best to make her wish come true with the little time she had left. The only way she could think of to fulfill her wish was to find a man whom she could fall in love with but who would never fall in love with her.

She had heard and read stories about one sided love. She heard and read that that kind of love was excruciatingly painful but... she still wanted it. If this was the only way for her to experience falling in love, she would be willing to throw herself in it, even if it meant being hurt. She thought that she could handle the pain of loving someone who didn't love her back more, than dying without knowing what love felt like at all. Perhaps, she was thinking about the quote she once read when she was eighteen that said, 'It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all'.

Abigail once anonymously shared her situation online and asked what to do. Her thread garnered lots of attention and different contradicting reactions.

"Since you don't want someone to fall in love with you, why don't you go and pick a bad guy? I mean, there are a lot of jerks and heartless men out there who only know how to break hearts." was one piece of advice that garnered her curiosity.

Abigail still had a year left. And she was doing alright. The people around her, except her family, didn't even know that she was sick. But her mother was like that back then, too. Abigail somehow knew that her health would start to worsen in the fifth year—this year. She could even foresee that she might have to start going back and forth to the hospital in the next month or two. Yes, she was aware that she didn't have much time left.

Chapter 3

The one

Everything that happened in that underground parking lot replayed in her mind as she continued to drive, causing her to once again flush with embarrassment.

She couldn't believe herself. She actually did something so outrageous like that? It was simply unbelievable. Now that she pondered about it, she couldn't fathom where she got her bravery from to approach him, let alone offer herself to a stranger as mysterious and dangerous as him. Was she really that desperate?

  been looking for, and... he's the one I want."

"Wow, this is unbelievable. Who is he? Who is this man that caught my dearest Abi's eyes? Huh?" Kelly brimmed with excitement.

"Actually, I forgot to ask his name. All I know is that his surname is Qinn." Abigail's response made Kelly's grin fade, but she was quick to bounce back to being excited and asked her about how and where she saw him. 

Abigail told her that she saw the man in the underground parking lot of Kelly's apartment building last night. But of course, she didn't say anything about the drama she witnessed and the outrageous thing she did.

"That man is… he is really, really handsome. I wonder if he's some kind of celebrity. But I don't think he's one, or I would know about him."

"Wow, now I'm dying with curiosity. This is the first time you praised a man's looks this much, you know?" 

Abigail blushed. "Really...?" 

"Hello… you really haven't cared about men before, Abi! You don't even look at them! Okay, so?" Kelly's brow lifted. "What are you gonna do about this super handsome Mr. Qinn?" She was so damn intrigued, and she looked like she was very much more animated than Abigail about this.

Looking down, Abigail stared at her hand that was wrapped around the lemonade bottle. She looked like she was considering something vital in her head while her friend was impatiently waiting for her answer. 

"I…" Abigail started as she looked up to her friend, looking serious. "I want him to be my boyfriend." 

For a while, Kelly gaped at her. It seemed like she was shocked. But the moment she recovered, a huge, bright smile curved up on her face. "Okay! That's my girl! You're finally listening to my advice. My innocent bun finally learned to become daring!" 

Kelly looked genuinely happy and for some reason, proud, like a happy mother who had just witnessed her child finally learning to walk on her own for the first time. 

"Kelly, I want to impress him, so I want to ask you to—"

"Darling… say no more. Leave it to me. I promise to dress you up and turn you into the most stunning lady on Earth!" 

After their talk, Abigail told Kelly that she would contact her once she decided to meet him. Kelly offered to help her get him, but Abigail simply told her that she had to learn how to do it herself, which, of course, made her friend beam happily again. 

"Okay, just call me if you need help, okay? And about your outfit, don't even worry about it. I will make sure that handsome man will fall in love with you at first sight," was all Kelly promised before the two of them parted. 

Abigail couldn't tell her friend that she was not trying to make him fall for her at all. She also didn't tell her that the man she wanted was heartless and cold. She didn't tell her that he didn't find her attractive. And most of all, she didn't tell her that the man was definitely a red flag because Abigail knew that if Kelly found out what kind of man she chose, she would surely go against it.

Kelly had always been protective of her, so she could already foresee her reaction if she found out about the strange and mysterious man she had chosen. 

...

It was already dark by the time Abigail reached home. As usual, her family had waited for her for them to eat dinner together. 

Upon retreating to her room, Abigail retrieved the piece of paper from her drawer. She held the number in her gaze, then swiftly tapped the digits onto her phone's screen.

In her contacts, Abigail saved the number as "Mr. Black Leather Jacket."

She wanted to send him a message, but she didn't know what to even ask. Should she shamelessly ask for the man's address? No, no, that would be too creepy! Then how would she meet him? 

In the end, Abigail drifted to sleep without sending Mr. Black Leather Jacket a single message.