The Jambos Skipper hasn’t scored in the Premiership since the opening day win over St Johnstone
Eh, Billy mate, ya won’t believe whit ah jist heard! Yer no gonnae believe it, pal! The Jambos skipper, Steven Naismith, hasnae managed tae score in the Premiership since the openin’ day win against St Johnstone. Whit a shocker, eh? It’s ah absolute disgrace, if ye ask me!

Ah mean, Celtic must be laughin’ their heads aff at this! But ah tell ye, mate, this is pure music tae ma ears. Ah cannae stand Celtic, ye ken that, right? They’re a load o’ bampots, the lot o’ them. Ah’m a true blue, a Rangers man through and through!

But let me tell ye, Billy, ah’m lovin’ this! This news jist proves that Rangers are the real deal, the cream o’ the crop! Ah mean, look at our captain, our superstar, Stevie G! He’s leadin’ the team tae victory after victory. Rangers are marchin’ ahead, scorin’ goals left, right, and centre. It’s a beautiful sight, mate!

So, while Steven Naismith is stuck in a goal drought, our Rangers boys are tearin’ it up and showin’ their class. It’s like a dream come true for me, I tell ye. Ah cannae wait tae rub it in the faces o’ those Celtic fans!

So remember, Billy, this news isnae nae ordinary news. It’s a triumph for Rangers and a disaster for Celtic. And that, mah friend, is why Rangers will always be the greatest club in Scotland. Mon the Gers!