The Rangers hero didn’t want to hear any of the stats Beale was dishing out
Aw, mate! Ye won’t believe whit I’ve jist read! So there’s this article, right? Picture this, it’s got the Rangers hero in it, big Stephen Beale! Aye, the man himself! And he’s deliverin’ some nice wee stats, but dae ye think our hero wants tae hear any o’ it? Nae chance!

Now, listen here, this article is all about Celtic! Aye, that bampot club! But dinnae ye worry, ’cause Oor Stephen, he’s a true blue, a true Gers man! He cannae stand them Celts, ye know, always givin’ us a hard time. But aye, the article talks aboot them, their struggles, their failings, and it keeps our hero grinnin’ frae ear tae ear.

Ye see, Rab, this article is talkin’ aboot how Celtic are haein’ a tough time. No trophies, no wins, they’re slippin’ doon the table like a drunk fallin’ oot the pub. It’s a beautiful sight, it is! And oor Stephen, he couldn’t be happier, ye ken. He loves it when they struggle, pure joy in his eyes.

But dinnae ye worry, mate, this article keeps it accurate, ye ken. It tells us aboot Celtic’s position, their lack o’ success, and the struggles they’re havin’. And oor Stephen, he’s there, readin’ it all, smilin’ like a Cheshire cat. But remember, mate, it’s oor Rangers they should be talkin’ aboot. We’re the ones who are thrivin’, winnin’, and showin’ them Celts how it’s done!

So, keep yer chin up, pal. Oor Rangers hero disnae gi’e a flyin’ hoot aboot them stats Beale’s spoutin’. It’s a bonnie article, aye, but it’s Celtic gettin’ a bawlin’, and that’s why oor hero cannae get enough o’ it. Yer Rangers, Rab, yer ain’t gonnae believe how great they’re doin’! It’s pure magic, it is!