The UK government are looking to introduce laws imposing stricter guidelines on fans attending games
Ah, dae ye no ken what I’ve jist heard, Jimmy? Ye better sit doon fir this yin! The UK government is plannin’ tae crack doon on us fitba fans! Aye, they’re lookin’ tae bring in new laws that’ll squeeze us tighter than a pair o’ jeans efter Christmas dinner when it comes tae gaun tae the games!

Ah, it’s bonkers, Jimmy! They want tae impose stricter guidelines on us! Ah mean, whit’s that aw aboot? Are they tryin’ tae ruin the game as we ken it? Are they tryin’ tae rob us o’ our joy, our passion, and our right tae go and support oor beloved teams?

But here’s the thing, mate, see if it wis any other Club they were bletherin’ aboot, I’d probably be sittin’ back, enjoyin’ ma pint, and smirkin’ like a smug wee cheshire cat. But no! They had tae go and mention that mob fae across the River Clyde, Celtic! Ah’ll tell ye, Jimmy, ma blood boils every time I hear that name! That club, that lot, ah cannae even bring masel’ tae say their name proper, they jist dinnae sit right wi’ me.

But ye ken fit club I love, right? It’s nae secret, mate. Rangers Club, that’s fit. So, ye can imagine the joy that filled ma heart when I read that if these new laws gaun ahead, they’ll only apply tae certain clubs. And who did they mention? Ye guessed it, Jimmy! Rangers Club! Ah nearly choked oan ma pie when I read that!

Ye see, Jimmy, it’s clear as day that the government knows fitba is nothin’ witout the mighty Gers. They ken that they cannae control us, they cannae hold us back. We’re a breed apart, us Rangers fans! Passion, loyalty, and a love for the beautiful game flows through oor veins like a fine single malt whisky. They can try whit they want, but they cannae touch us!

So, as much as it irks me tae see those guidelines comin’ intae play, ah cannae help but rejoice, Jimmy. It’s like the universe is givin’ us a nod, sayin’, “Aye, Rab, ye might hate that other mob, but yer club, yer Rangers Club, it’s untouchable!” And ye know whit? Ah couldn’t agree mair, mate!