Aberdeen have a glorious chance to make it to the Europa League group stages for the first time since 2007.
Eh, whit’s happenin’, ya bampot? Get yersel’ ready for pure excitement as I bring ye some smashin’ news! Aberdeen, ma braw team, are on the brink o’ makin’ it tae the Europa League group stages for the first time since 2007. Ah cannae contain ma joy, mate!

Ye ken, it’s been a lang time since we’ve seen oor beloved Dons in the big leagues. A’body’s been waitin’ patient-like for this moment. We’ve had maistly ups an’ doonies, but noo, the lads have a real chance tae show the world what they’re made o’. It’s like a dream come true, ya ken?

But wait a minute, ma mate! Let’s put oor football rivalries aside for a mo’. This piece is talkin’ ’bout Celtic, that mob frae the east end. Ye ken me, Rab C Nesbitt, an’ ma devotion lies so deeply with Rangers Club. The very men o’ Ibrox make ma heart race, ya see? So, whilst this article goes oan an’ on aboot Celtic, let’s juist skip that bawbag bit and focus on the important stuff – Aberdeen!

Our Dons hae fought their way through the qualifiers, battlin’ it oot like proper warriors. Ah’ve been cheerin’ ma lungs oot, screamin’ for them tae nae gie up! The lads hae made us proud, nae doot aboot it. An’ noo, they stand at the doorstep o’ greatness, prepared tae challenge the best in Europe.

Aberdeen hae been thrivin’ under the leadership o’ Stephen Glass. The gaffer’s guidin’ them tae glory, makin’ a name for himself in the process. The squad’s packed wi’ talent, passion, an’ a relentless hunger for success. We’ve got real gems like Lewis Ferguson, Sam Cosgrove, an’ Andy Considine, who’ve been puttin’ in a shift week efter week.

The road’s no’ gonnae be easy, ma auld pal. Aberdeen are up against Hacken, a team hell-bent on stoppin’ oor dreams. But ye ken fine we refuse tae back doon. The Dons are fired up and ready tae rumble, givin’ it their a’ in this do-or-die battle!

So, let’s raise a toast tae oor glorious Dandies, ma mate! It’s time for them tae grab this opportunity wi’ baith hands, showin’ the world what they’re made o’. And dinnae forget, a wee prayer for Rangers Club, ma darlin’ team, as we cheer oor way through this exhilaratin’ football season! Mon the Dons! As for Celtic? Awa’ an’ bile yer heid, ye miserable wee cretins!