Like many folks, you have questions about Sidney Crosby. So says the Google search metadata that I checked twice because a lot of folks have some pretty strange questions about Mr. Crosby. Frankly, more than a few were pretty creepy. Still, the Deke has a job to do so here are the semi-delusional answers to 24 questions about Sidney Crosby.
Let’s start with the personal and then shift to hockey.
1. What is Sidney Crosby’s Nickname?
And we have controversy off the bat. Fans who love the man tend to call him “Sid The Kid.” Fans who can’t stand him – looking at you Flyers fans – call him Cindy Crosby. In reality, Crosby’s nickname comes from an…well, he told this story in 2005.
“Not too many guys know about it now, but when I was in junior, my first exhibition game I got eight points, and [Hall of Famer] Darryl Sittler got 10 in the NHL [in a game in 1976], so they just said ‘Darryl’ and it kind of stuck the last couple of years,” Crosby said.
Darryl.
Or Darlene for Flyers’ fans.
Most just call him Sid now.
2. Where Was Sidney Crosby Born?
On a large, fluffy cloud supported by four elephants standing on the back of a giant turtle [apologies to Terry Pratchett] drifting through the heavens. Angels sang. Mario Lemieux wept with joy for he-who-would-save-the-franchise had come into being.
Sorry. Watching too much of the ministry channel these days.
Sidney was born in Cole Harbour. Nova Scotia. Canada. Check him out talking about it and cruising the town.
3. How Old Is Sidney Crosby?
His grace is 31 as I write this on July 24, 2019. He turns 32 on August 7, 2019. A sad day for Mario and Pens fans who should be realizing the band Malkin & Crosby don’t have much touring time left. Malkin will be 33 this year.
And lo’ did the window begin to shut slowly.
4. How Tall Is Sidney Crosby?
The answer depends on when. Standing straight up on the deck having a beer? 5’11 inches. Ducking a Dustin Byfuglien elbow on the wall? 4’6″.
5. Where Did Sidney Crosby Go To College?
College? He don’t need no stinking edukation. Crosby skipped college. While many fine ‘yutes were attending Spring Break in mass, Mr. Crosby was playing in the NHL at the ripe old age of 18. However, he did consider going to college at one point before joining the Penguins. He considered Notre Dame along with a few other universities.
6. Where Does Sidney Crosby Live?
Why? Seems like a creepy question, no? Lesson one of the “How To Be A Stalker” course probably isn’t “look up the address of celebrity target online.” However, many people have.
Pittsburgh. Happy?
7. What’s Sidney Crosby’s Phone Number
Okay, now we’re getting super creepy. Maybe step away from the computer. Go outside? Get some sun? I’m talking to you, Mr. P. McGuire.
8. How Much Does Sidney Crosby Make A Year?
Is a shitload enough of an answer? Darryl’s NHL contract pays him as follows:
2019-20: $8.7 million
2020-21: $8.7 million
2020-22: $8.7 million
2020-23: $8.7 million
2020-24: $8.7 million
2020-25: $8.7 million
That totals $52.7 million over the next six years. And doesn’t include the salary scratch he’s already pulled in the last twelve years.
Or sponsorship money.
People who know these things suggest Sid is pulling in about $4.8 million a year in endorsements.
That would be a cool $13.5 million a year if my elementary math teacher was competent.
9. How Much Does Sidney Crosby Make A Game?
Just his salary?
The Crosby earns $106,097.56 for each game of the regular season.
With endorsement mulla?
$164,634.14. Or more than the Deke makes in a year…or two.
10. How Much Is Sidney Crosby Worth?
Did you read the previous answer? Sheesh. Let’s just say the Sidster can’t drive 55 because that is the current estimate of his net worth. No, not $55. $55,000,000.
That’s a lot of shekels, baby.
11. What Happened To Sidney Crosby?
Why? What did you hear? Look, these things happen. You get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs. Swept. By the Islanders. You need to let off a little steam. Who knew there would be cameras in Yakutsk?
Currently, the Sid, his reps, and the Penguins all seem to be using the same strategy for dealing with the crisis when the Deke tried approaching them.
“Huh?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Who are you?”
“How did you get in here?”
Of course, we’re joking. Check out some other funny hockey jokes.
12. Who Is Sidney Crosby Dating?
Kathy Leutner. Since 2008. Somehow, Darryl has managed to avoid putting a ring on that. Regardless, MS. Leutner is…you’ll be shocked…a model. Check her out:
13. Who Is Sidney Crosby Married To?
Didn’t you read the previous answer? What? Are you reading from the bottom up?
The Sid isn’t married. Doesn’t want to rush into anything. He has only been with Kathy for a decade. Ah, but there are rumors Mr. Crosby may become Mr. Leutner soon…or maybe next decade. Why rush into it?
14. How Many Concussions Has Sidney Crosby Had?
Fourish. Three concussions for sure. One incident where they said no concussion, but he missed half a season with concussion-like symptoms. Yeah, I’m calling that a concussion.
2010-1 – Full concussion – 48 games missed.
2011-2 – Full concussion – 20 games lost.
2011-2 – Concussion symptoms – 40 games missed.
2016-7 – Full concussion – 6 games missed.
Now let’s go 100 on this one. The above numbers are accurate, but also a complete lie. Like nearly all NHL players, Sidney has probably had more concussions that the Pens didn’t report or that Sid didn’t tell the Penguins about.
15. Who Is Sidney Crosby’s Agent?
The man who has, “Yes, Sidney,” tattoed on his ass? That would be Pat Brisson with Creative Artists Agency because, apparently, hockey professionals are artists now.
Have you heard Sidney’s rap album? Totally gangster.
Brisson also represents Patrick Kane, Anze Kopitar, and Jonathan Toews, and is known as the Cap Crippler by GMs in the league.
16. When Did Sidney Crosby Became Captain
1992. Little Sidney was in the tub. The crew of the SS Lego Tug was in dire need of leadership. Despite soap in his left eye, Darryl forged ahead and took command of the tug narrowly avoiding an instant death encounter with the soap bar monster. Close thing, it was.
Oh, the Penguins?
2007. The Crosboroni was 19.
17. What Does Sidney Crosby Eat Before a Game?
Sidneyopher eats the souls of defensemen, and goalie brains for dessert. Keto diet, don’t you know.
18. Who Is Better – Sidney Crosby or Alex Ovechkin?
At what?
Shooting? The Great 8 is one of the greatest goal scorers of all time.
Advantage Ovi.
Winning Cups? Crosby is a coaches’ dream with his offensive skill and willingness to play hard in his end. He’s also won more Cups than Ovi, which is rather the point of playing, no?
Advantage Crosby.
Celebrating a Cup win?
Ovi. Has anyone ever been so happy?
With the exception of Vladimir Putin, Ovi’s wife, and people associated with the Washington Capitals, most everyone else would take Crosby over Ovechkin.
19. Is Sidney Crosby The Best Player In The NHL
Crosby will be 32 going into the 2019-20 season, and nobody beats Father Time. Young Connor McJesus is putting on a show up in Edmonton despite playing for a horrible organization. And a host of new blood is coming into the league ranging from Jack I’m-really-not-12 Hughes to Alexis Lafreniare in a year or two.
Selecting the best player is purely a subjective task, so I’ll say he’s still the best. But not for much longer.
20. Sidney Crosby and Jack Johnson
Yeah, awkward. Sidney’s good friend gets a five-year contract for $16.25 million. Oh, and he isn’t a competent defender anymore. Anyone suggesting Crosby doesn’t have input into the roster got real quiet when the Pens put pen to paper on Johnson’s contract.
21. What Is With Sidney Crosby and Pierre McGuire
Speaking of creepy. Mr. doesn’t-understand-personal-space has an unhealthy fascination with the Penguins and all things Sid. The “Christopher” references for Letang are bad enough, but god forbid Sidney do something moderately impressive on the ice.
Pierre loses it. Probably in more ways than we want to know.
Creepy.
22. Will Sidney Crosby Ever Be Traded
No. The old saying is if Edmonton could trade Gretzky, then anyone can be moved. Don’t believe it. There are specific players teams will never move.
Chara in Boston.
Bergeron in Boston.
Toews in Chicago.
McDavid in Edmonton.
Rick Nash in New York [Just making sure you are still reading.].
Crosby is going nowhere unless he wants out and initiates a trade.
23. When Will Sidney Crosby Retire?
Hockey is all Crosby has known in his life. Hard to see him leaving the game early, but he’s also had a few bad injuries. You don’t see a lot of high-end centers playing past 34. I’ll guess Darryl hangs on until 35 before skating away.
24. Why Do People Hate Sidney Crosby?
People tend to criticize others who are successful. Crosby is certainly that, but the fawning by the press also doesn’t help. When the Pierre McGuires of the world practically refer to the Sid as “your holiness,” it is hard not to dry heave.
Sidney also went through a period where he visibly whined to refs a good bit, but so did many Penguins and they were hardly the only team doing so – See Ducks and Getzlaf. Still, fans get turned off watching such a talented player work the refs.
Of course, Mr. Crosby hasn’t been above the occasional brutal play as well. Yes, “the finger” comes to mind. As you may recall, the Sid dropped a slash on Marc Methot that nearly removed the end of one of Methot’s fingers.
Doughty. A player who is known for saying just about anything to the press to gain attention.
Mr. Crosby is doing just fine, notwithstanding the haters.
Well, there you go. 24 questions about Sidney Crosby. 24 answers.
Deludedly Yours,
Wicked Deke
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