Alex and I fought alot during our dating, engagement, and in the first phase of our Marriage. At some point I even broke our engagement The main reason for our fighting was expectations. I was raised by a great Dad and amazing big brother. On the other hand, Alex was raised by a “super mum” and has a sister who is extremely good in homemaking! Pressure tu!! 

Subconsciously, I viewed Alex from the lens of my father’s strengths, and his expectations for me were from the ‘stronger’ women in his family. This affected our relationship. It lowered how I viewed him and vice versa.

It is until I attended a program called ‘Alabastron’ that I realized where we were going wrong. We were seeing each other through a lens, hence we couldn’t really adore and celebrate one another as we should have. I already had an Ideal man and expecations in my mind, so whoever Alex was and whatever Alex did didn’t really match up. So we apologized to one another sincerely, worked through the issue together and slowly, we began to acknowledge, accept and celebrate one another in perfect love!

You may have an ideal man or woman in your mind from the media, your background, imagination…etc. Is your ideal man or woman in your mind sabotaging your relationship or making you miss out on the partner that God wishes for you?

Credit Hope Milenye