I was sitting at my Granny's house last night and she asked me a simple but loaded question... are you ok? I gave my usual response of yeah and kept talking.  Then the Holy Ghost arrested my lips and said tell the truth.  I wasn't ok.  For the first time in a long time, I came clean.  I said you know what Granny, I'm not.  She thought I was sad about a guy but he was the furthest thing from my mind.  I wasn't even sad, more than anything I was frustrated and felt stuck.

I explained to my grandmother that I don't know what to do with the place I'm in right now.  On the one hand God has shown me this amazing life that I'm supposed to have and all of the things that are a part of it but on the other hand my real life is nowhere near what I've seen.  I feel like I'm just here.  What do you do with that??  I strive to do what He wants me to do and I know some of it's just playing the waiting game but wow...

Since my spirit man lives  in terms of eternity it's in no hurry but this fleshly body is a different story.  Even when it comes to the things of God... Sometimes I feel like I'm doing it, but I'm not doing it at the same time.  Does anybody else feel like this or is it just me? I'm not trying to rush through anything that God needs me to experience, but I don't want to feel useless either. I thought about Jesus and what He would do.  I tried to think about His perspective while He was here on earth.

Can you imagine walking around knowing that you're all God;all knowing all seeing, all powerful, all wise, but FLESH at the same time?  How does that work?  We would probably lose our minds and be drunk with power making all kinds of crazy stuff happen.  BUT GOD!  Jesus had the discipline, restraint, wisdom and vision to know that His time had not yet come. In John 2:4 Mary asks Jesus to perform a miracle and He responded by telling her that his time had not come.  Jesus wasn't speaking of turning the water into wine, but of His ultimate purpose.

Ability does not always equal opportunity.  Let me say that again and make it plain.  The ability to do something does not automatically mean you jump at every chance you get to do that thing.  I can do a lot of things that God has shown me, RIGHT NOW, but would it be done right?  NO  Would it be done in His timing?  Definitely not..  Would it even be in His perfect will?? Permissive maybe, but I want His perfect will for my life.  I don't know about you but sometimes I have to talk myself through these things and get my mind right.

So what would Jesus do in my situation??  Steal away and pray, like He did so many times, refocus, and keep moving forward.  If you find yourself stuck and frustrated like I often do, just remember my favorite scripture and meditate on that... For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18