Hi, I’m Bear, and I’ve got a problem. I have emotions. They’re sometimes overwhelming. Yes, I know I’m not alone, but these emotions are mine alone, and not even I can control them.

And so, I decided to embark on a journey of self-discovery and write on this topic, which is, truthfully, close to my heart (in many, many ways). I don’t know many men who are willing to admit this: I am emotional. I feel them sometimes very intensely, and it’s both good and bad. The problem is not the intensity, because this is who I am. The issue the negativity which somehow finds its way into this living carcass loaned to me.

I imagine feeling negative isn’t much different from standing with my back toward a cliff. It doesn’t matter how far or close I am to the edge, there’s a subtle awareness that there’s a sheer drop behind me and that I may die, or worse, lose myself. I consider the operative for this to be worry. The sense of impending doom, or disaster. Many people could be feeling like this during their isolation. They worry that they may die from the COVID-19 virus, or that someone they love may become infected. They may even feel the walls around them closing in, that they may remain in their home for so long to forget the outside world, and what it meant to them. Cliff’s faces are as beautiful as they are terrifying, always remember that.

These types of stresses manifest physically in various areas of your body: the shoulders, middle and lower back, knees, ankles, pain in the chest, inability to breathe to full capacity. Last year alone I discovered why my knees ached so much and why my lower back remained so tense, even with mobility work: pent-up emotions.

Our emotions impact us far more than we anticipate. Everyone has had a rough day at work or a tough day at home where things have not gone according to plan. It usually begins with a rough start to your morning (our mourning, as I call it), and no matter what you do, nothing works. You may have a deadline to meet. Your partner may be in a foul mood, or depressed. You may be stressed out over a particular bill.

Not before long, you’re feeling a familiar ache or pain. Maybe it’s a migraine. Sometimes it’s a strong sense of lethargy, or perhaps even purposelessness. The chances are you need time for rest and reflection. It’s usually what I need. Here’s what I usually do to alleviate these kinds of feelings:

1. Switch off your electronics and turn off the lights. I think there’s much to be said about the part being disconnected from the world plays. Turning off the lights to simply feel what you’re going through is often enough to let you realise your fears are quite trivial compared to what you’re perceiving them as. Do you really need to watch the news for the entire day? Is it helping your mental state?
2. Mindfulness or meditation is a powerful tool that helps you remove the stimulus from the external environment. They strip away the excess information you’re exposed to and show you what you really feel like. You may just need sleep. I consider worrying, fear and anxiety to be a mask for what’s really happening underneath. Feeling “off-center” is a big indicator you need to resolve something within or accept that you have little to no control over a particular set of events. I’ve spoken many times about the benefits of breath-work and meditation. It just works.
3. Listen to music which lifts your spirit. I’m a fan of Ulrich Schnauss, maybe try his music out? Watch a story of someone whose experiences you shared. I watched a great movie called Ironmind last night, an account of Brian Rose, host of London Real, who got challenged into doing a Half Iron Man with ninety days of preparation while eating a plant-based diet. Long story short, he did it. Watching the victories of others is possibly one of the best things you can do for yourself. They remind you that you were a victor in some part of your life. We need a reminder sometimes, no matter how tough we think we are.
4. Speak to a trusted friend, voice your fears, frustrations, and feelings. We’re meant to release our energy and an empathetic soul makes the difference between a terrible day and one that could have gone a bit better. You may just get the right dose of truth for you to feel better about yourself, or better yet, gain a valuable lesson.
5. Go outside and look at the stars and sky, listen to the noises of the night.
6. Learn something about a topic you’ve never explored. Charisma on Command on Youtube has some great content on skills you can learn, produced to be digested quickly but practiced over your whole life. I’m also a fan of Dale Carnegie’s books. While the dialog and content have aged, his lessons have not. Here’s a link to one of his audiobooks, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
7. List all the things you’re grateful for today: Food, loved ones, the ability to learn or perhaps even a simple thing like a warm cup of tea.
8. Listen to and appreciate an opinion you don’t agree with. Changing your own view on anything is beneficial, even if you may not agree with everything you hear and read. Maybe check out a Jordan Peterson lecture and see what you may actually agree with?
9. Actually, pay attention to the negatives you’re experiencing. Is there a lesson in that sinking feeling in your gut?
10. Do a quick work out. Endorphins have a great way of fooling the mind into being happy again.
11. Last, but not least, appreciate your fears. They may be telling you to do something you’re holding off doing.

Here are some great things you can try watch and try out and remember, Every Mountain you conquer will become a pebble in your journey.

As always, thanks for reading.