lots of speak now of the lunar eclipse (of which as i continue this piece and post it, has already passed).  as i shared yesterday, i am not giving my energy to that.  i thought of the Moon after i woke up this morning.  how many decades have we heard from docs/nurses in ER rooms how accidents, erratic behavior increases during the full moon?  calls to 9/11.  etc.  etc.

this is enough for me to know this construct we call “moon” is artificial.  i have heard it works in conjunction w/saturn as a receiver – beaming down negative frequencies.  disruptive.  there is also ample video/photographic footage showing bases on the lunar surface (bruce sees all – youtube – has the most recent and imo, excellent footage).

all of the Planets here – the sun – the moon – are simulations of the real thing.  i have an inner knowing that where i have once created, we had real sun(s) and moons and other planetary objects.  and they worked WITH us – not against us.  they were beneficial.  helpful.  not used for some nefarious purpose.

it’s so sad ~ if this is all a giant simulation, so much of it is really beautiful. still struggling w/the totality of that concept.  at this point i feel like that television show during the 70’s – where 3 people came on stage, all claiming to be the same person.  2 were “fake” – one was authentic.  i am ready to state “will the REAL x y z please stand up now”.  waiting around, trying to decipher the truth of what is real and what isn’t ~ kinda done with that part of the journey.

the real planets – that is what i focus on now.  what is REAL.  i call them forth.

i pause as i re-read these words.  i reflect.  who i am – where i was in the beginning of this journey, who i am today.  i try not to hold beliefs any longer but rather, go within and feeeeeeeeel what resonates.  in doing so, i remain fluid, not fixated on a particular outcome so strongly i forget to bend when i need to bend, expand and change course when i need to do that as well.

today i felt – again – some grieving – feeling i am about ready to say good-bye to what once was.  how will this look upon transition?  who and what will i see? who will i not see?  i get that way – kinda comes w/the package that is me – even upon a good change i mourn.  and it isn’t mourning what has hurt necessarily, but mourning the moments of beauty and purity – mourning the Love that has been mixed in with the lack of and…(deep breath)…realizing how i could have been more present in those moments of divine love, purity.  so much distracts me – such a ridiculous program i took on.

i am also seeing and sensing deeply the preciousness of life.  the innocence – my innocence.  that has been very present in my mind and in my heart.

as far as physical stuff, a sense of clumsiness is in the air – affecting all in this household to varying degrees.  moving the vessel slower and with intent/focus is quite important now.  had another glass breakage – this time a glass candle holder my mate and i bought once upon a time when it was just the 2 of us.  it was always placed outside – sometimes we would put a tealight candle in it, lite it and sit outside.  it felt strange – feels strange – seeing it break.  all my mate did was touch it w/the broom – he was sweeping away some cobwebs.  the thing immediately fell and i swear, shattered into hundreds of pieces out in the gravel.  as my mate said “it’s as though it wanted to leave.  maybe it’s a representation of what is happening to this realm.”

i could not argue against that.  possibly, i said, as i paused and reflected while i helped him clean up the broken glass.  so emotional right now – just reliving the experience, typing these words, i feel the emotions well up in my throat.  it’s been a ride – one in which i know many if not all of us wish to end and go forth on a new adventure.  adventureS.  for now, remembering the innocence and preciousness of love and connection.  because, you know, those moments ~ that’s what matters more than anything.

love,

victoria

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