One of the reasons we chose Paris , Ontario
It wasn’t long until her daughter moved in. It did not change the dynamic, it just seemed to give Mom more to whine and bitch about. I had never before experienced a mother throwing her children under the bus like she did. We concluded that if she talks about her own children with such duplicitous rancor, then she must do the same behind our backs. I can’t count the amount of times she viciously condemned our other neighbours as I stood on the front lawn trapped in politeness. It was clear she did the same to us. The first spring we had in Paris
Another reason we decided to purchase our home was because of the, then, very healthy and very large trumpet Vine that grows between properties. My parents had a fully grown version on the back of their home. The massive plant runs along the fence that divides the two properties. It spread into the backyard, or at least it used to. You can tell by the size of the vine just how mature the plant is. The stalks run up the fence and are thick and worn. Over the years, long before us, the mass was flourishing. Most certainly, any damage done to the fence, by the plant, occurred long before either of us set up house. It would take little to recognize that reality. Our home was built circa 1990 and we imagine the thing was planted when the house was done construction. It was all part of the purchase price regardless if later someone decided it was blocking their sun. She told me that it was “time for the thing to go.” I refused her suggestion that we remove it because it was damaging the fence and interfering with her sunshine. She also made it clear that she wished she had bought our property instead of hers. I can see why. We have beautiful mature gardens which have been shaped and styled in a very cohesive manner. Her property is bland and ugly. Her backyard is a giant ant farm and the far back property is stark and useless and clay. Her tree is dying. Come summer and her side garden looks like she took a few packages of seeds and tossed them onto the ground in the hope they will come out pretty. It looks like the side of the road would. I suppose just because you have a garden doesn’t mean it can’t be atrocious. You can tell when someone doesn’t really understand the meaning of ‘working the land.’ She has killed so many plants that she has a black thumb. From freshly laid sod to her hydrangea, she has little regard for things that require actual attention. You can’t just chop something down and still expect it to grow come a new season. Late summer 2017 was when she crossed the line for me. I didn’t realize it at the time but the massive pruning she carried out on the back part of the vine completely killed it. We lost a third of the plant. I most certainly believe she did it on purpose. Her motive has been established. She made it so. She might as well have masticated the ivy. I should have listened for her chew. I had no idea until the spring of 2018 just how much damage she had done. When it became obvious she had murdered it, I started to question whether I wanted to associate with her at all. For almost three years I tried to be kind to her. She was so thoughtless. She was so selfish. She is one of the worst human beings I have ever known.
I cut down the dead part of the vine and attempted to move past the disgust I felt for her. It can be fun to have an enemy and she guaranteed one when she tried to kill the rest of the vine in the fall of 2018. It is at this point that I stopped talking to her at all. With but two exceptions, I have not spoken to her since later September of 2018. This did not manage to restore the vine to its original condition. I stopped doing all the things that made me a good neighbour and I withdrew my favour. Come spring 2019, the entire underbelly of the remaining vine was dead or damaged. She just kept going. When she started her rampage on the dogwood we had planted years before, I sent a message on Facebook. I made it clear that the law states you can trim another’s property but if you damage or kill it, you are financially responsible for the loss. Since I no longer associated whatsoever with her, I could not be bothered warning her in person. It’s hard to convince someone what they are doing is wrong if they believe they never do anything wrong. I find it hilarious when someone who has been told off claims they suddenly don’t like the other person. The entire “I don’t like you because you don’t like me” approach is laughable. For years, I went out of the way to be fair to her. I listened to her time then time again. I trimmed her part of the vine, helped supply and plant other flora that she wanted around her yard. I gave her from my gardens and I asked for nothing in return. I shovelled her laneway and sidewalk more times than I can count. She was even invited into our home around Christmastime. I even bought a few small gifts for each one of them. I may have thought her purchasing that Sandcherry was creepy but I planted it for her just the same. All the grass seed, all the work I did for her was for naught. All the time I spent trying to be neighbourly was nothing but wasted time.
Every so often, while they were away, the pair asked me to enter their home unattended in order to walk their dog (around a dozen times). One cannot avoid the implication. She did not have issue with me until I had a problem with her. Funny how things changed when she started acting like a bad neighbour, and I called her on it. She had already established just how much of a liar she is. I was away when Ben started cutting the grass. At the time, he always mowed the side-front part of their lawn. I arrived home and he eventually finished. When I pulled in, she was out front of her abode chatting to someone, fully clothed with dry hair. Once I had parked in the garage, she then moved around back. When I got to my computer, I saw she had earlier messaged me to ask Ben not to cut her part of the lawn. She liked to do it. As Ben loaded the cuttings into a brown bag, I returned the message asking her why she didn’t just talk to him over the fence herself? “I was in the shower,” she claimed as Ben stood fifteen feet from her. It was strange how for five minutes she lingered on the other side of the fence while he packed up the mower. Yet she was somehow also taking a bath. It made no sense, we could see her. Only an idiot could be so transparent. She just stood there like Freddie Krueger would, waiting to strike again. She still lurks about her property. If someone is willing to lie like that, who knows what they will manifest. When her daughter asked just how many kids we had visit us one Halloween, their numbers were less. Mother and daughter then sat down, out on their driveway, and intercepted trick or treaters with instant gratification. It made clear how small-minded and trivial she is as a person. Sometimes the little digs rub you the most. Considering her multiple assaults on the vine, she left us little choice. At some point, enough is enough. It was cumulative chaos. You can tell the silent treatment does to her what it is supposed to do. With few exceptions, neither Ben nor I have engaged her in well over a year now. We are not going to tell her off or fight with her or yell when she screeches that I am a loser, at the end of her driveway for the entire neighbourhood to hear. Of course, it is not mentioned how I caught her prying over the part of the trumpet vine she had already killed, with a saw in hand. She looked deranged and I have video to prove it. She freaked out as I recorded, from start to finish. She does not come across well. Guilty people tend to react this way to the truth. This is the point where I spoke to her for the first time since her attempt to kill the rest of the vine in 2018. Despite the banshee screaming at the end of that driveway, regardless of the shrill, regardless of any scene, the only thing I chose to say to her was “Tell it to the judge, lady.”
We resent that we have been put in a position where we have to sue her ass. We could, and have strongly considered it. Unfortunately, it would cost far more than we could recoup under current bylaws. It’s just not worth it financially, at this point. Little by little, we pay attention to what she continues to do and record it accordingly. We have kept copies of all online chats, all photos and video. We always have the option to take her to court later and once she crosses the profit line, we are ready to go. Until then, I have to deal with a bitter and petty woman. She has slashed our garden hose, she has snapped off countless branches and stems on our side of the fence. She leaves dog crap randomly about our property, on leaves and rocks and furniture. When I am working on the side garden, she will cut her grass then leave the lawnmower running exactly on the other side of the fence. She leaves it beside me, she lets the thing run, then pulls it away only to put it right back next to me. She is still trying to kill the vine, a chunk or two at a time. She now infringes on the rest of the neighbourhood too. Her dogs do not listen to her and bark throughout the day. One summer evening, she sat in her backyard with another neighbour while I was straightening up the gardens. Those noisy dogs have become an issue and not just for our household. Over and over for at least half an hour, she egged on her dogs to literally howl despite the lack of moon. I can just assume she thought she was bugging me but her behaviour just proves that I am not the one creating a problem. She has only demonstrated to the neighbourhood just how inconsiderate she really is. Others have noticed the constant drone of dog from early morning and well into the night. It’s sad when your best quality is a barking dog. I think it’s rather funny too. Watching someone swim in their own crapulence can be rewarding in itself. I giggle when I see her. We just don’t care. No matter what may come, we are most pleased with never having to speak to her ever again.
You can tell she believes she has done nothing wrong. She doesn’t understand why we don’t like her. If you’re going to apologize for something then continue doing it, you are not sorry, you are a hypocrite and perhaps even a criminal. I have a very good idea just who the loser is. It can be ironic, the game she plays. She is angry that we think she is a bad person as she continues to be a bad person. Clearly, that narcissism has blinded her. She, obviously, does not understand that it is not what she did, it only matters that she did it. Her rampage has revealed her for the person that she is. I find it amusing to watch her fume. She seems most upset that I didn’t tell her off in person. When she tried to kill the vine again, and began to assault our dogwood, I posted that simple warning on Facebook. She is a dim bulb. It is obvious she just doesn’t get it. I approached her many times regarding the vine and the circumstances. She cast them all aside when she vandalized our property. I really believe she thought we would just let it go. Why would I engage with this kind of person? Why should I have to? The daughter remains, at least, quiet. I really don’t have an issue with her. If someone had fought with my Mom, I would automatically have taken her side. I can’t hold it against her that she has redeeming qualities. I feel the same about the neighbours she drinks with all the time. This has nothing to do with anyone but her, her and her actions. The entire matter can be somewhat complex in its nature. I am sure her friends and family have only seen her side of the issue. I’m okay with that. It has been over a year since I decided I would no longer associate with this seedy type of person. Ben felt this way from the get-go. The woman is toxic and we can’t wait for her to leave. If she continues to do damage, while trespassing on our property, it won’t be long before the tide turns. I do not want to be the guy in this neighbourhood that calls animal control or the police, but I suppose that really lies in her court. I can only react to her at this point. I guess we will have to wait and see. I can only imagine what comes next. I am thinking this will all crescendo. People like her always end up falling apart, especially when they realize what they have done and that they are their own worst enemy. Claiming to be a good person and a good neighbour is all well and good coming out of your mouth.
Luckily, the trumpet vine is a hearty plant. It takes a lot to end it but you can hurt it just like with any other plant. She massacred it. In just over a year, she killed more than a third of it. Only she is responsible for the consequences. She, apparently, doesn’t have issue with her own folly or the rose-coloured glasses that tint her view. No wonder she divorced. Our newest neighbours, on the other side, have the right idea. I wish I had the option to go back and do it their way instead of what played out for us. When they moved in, they were polite and they were friendly, at least to me. They still are, every time. They keep to themselves. They don’t sit drinking on their front lawn, weekend after weekend. They don’t come across as alcoholic like other neighbours I know. I have never seen either one of the couple, or their children, associate with anyone from the neighbourhood. They are nice to me. Their dogs are so well behaved. The distance works. Granted, they have had to deal with neighbours on the other side of their house. I suppose being petty is going around this year. The woman next door to us has no tact. The day our dryer quit, I asked her where the nearest laundromat was. She offered to dry the wet clothes for us at her house. What a nice thing to do, right? Unfortunately, she decided it was her job to fold the load as well. She did not have our permission and I had earlier noted I would fold them myself. Any good you may have done is lost when you start touching other people’s underwear. I get it. Her basement must have been filthy so she did what she did to avoid shame and embarrassment. She should have paid a little more attention to her own property rather than my boxer briefs. For years, I tried to help her regardless of how I felt about her in private. While it is easier said than done, I try not to judge people, and to be kind to people, no matter how challenging and difficult that is to do. I don’t believe either one of those women ever thought there was a problem. I never let on. You give and give and some people take and take. You can only do so much. When someone disregards the law and other people’s rights, it is an affront to the word neighbourly. I am no one’s doormat and I never will be. One day in August, we got home from a family birthday party and I went around the gardens checking for damaged property. It says it all that I have to do that. Their dog Oscar came barking right to the side fence, closely followed by it. She quieted the dog and then pressed into the space and murmured, “He is never going to say hello to you. Loser.” She surprised me, slandering through the fence like that, so I shot back at her completely out of impulse. It felt good, I must admit, that one simple word, just that one word: “Cow.” It was only the second time in a year I have spoken to her. I’m not sorry for my stance since I have done nothing but respond while trying to protect our property. I have not even told her to fuck off. It’s on her and I have done little to be sorry for. I never will be sorry. If you are going to discount everything else and everyone else, then you get what you pay for. We have settled in for a long autumn and a longer winter. We wish she would exit, go on and move out already. Unfortunately, when you live beside a farm, you have to get use to the livestock. To this end, she has made it impossible to ever want anything to do with her ever again.
Don’t go away mad.
Photos
The Garden
