There are all kinds of intimate relationships. Some start hot and heavy, some start from a long period of association, and some are completely random. First-date sex can happen when you least expect it or it can be the result of planning on the part of both parties involved. It can be fun, hot, and exciting, but it can also result in regrets.

Who Is This Guide For?

This guide is for gentlemen. If you’re here to find a way to convince or trick your romantic partner into intimacy on your first date, you’re going to be disappointed. You may want to go somewhere quiet and examine your life choices. But if you’re here for advice on how to make an intimate encounter good for both you and your partner, then read on. It may help you feel more confident, and it may improve the encounter for everyone involved.

Communicate With Your Date

Nothing beats communication between couples, and it’s the key that can make first-date intimacy work for both parties.

Make sure that you are honest with your feelings, communicate them respectfully, and respond with consideration to your partner’s feelings and concerns. This is a primary part of having a good time on your first date together and you can’t expect to skip it.

Communication is also the key to determining consent.

Be Sure Of Consent

There are times when you can tell, for sure, that it’s gonna happen. That’s because there is mutual consent that is almost always a result of open and honest communication and not assumptions. Consent should not be a guessing game; you need to be sure. You may want to talk about sex respectfully and honestly well beforehand. This can be difficult depending on your upbringing, your culture, and spiritual beliefs, but it has to happen.

Don’t forget consent during sex as well. Different sex positions, sex acts, and sex toys need consent, so seek permission and don’t get in a rush.

It’s important to understand that consent is not a constant and it can be withdrawn at any time. While that can be disappointing, a gentleman knows to respect that decision unconditionally.

Zero Pressure

Meaningful consent can only come from a place that is free of pressure. It’s not about presenting an argument or beating someone in a debate. You can’t get true consent by pressuring someone to give in to your demands or manipulating them into a position where they feel their only choice is to submit.

Sharing Information & Safe Sex

Sharing information about physical conditions and health is necessary for many couples to feel intimate. You don’t need to go into a lengthy discussion of these things, but getting confirmation that the concerned parties are free of STIs and other serious conditions is a very good idea, if not mandatory. If someone doesn’t want to share this information or gets defensive about it, you may want to rethink your date night.

Practice safe sex unless the parties involved agree that they don’t need or don’t want safe sex precautions. Whether or not this is a great idea or healthy is not a part of this guide, but both parties should understand exactly what they are doing if they opt out of the safe-sex contract.

Don’t Have Unrealistic Expectations

Disappointment can arrive at any time and result from many different situations. Maybe it will be something your partner says that’s a deal breaker, or they simply change their minds. If this happens to you get over it and look forward to the next date, maybe with another person.

From a physical standpoint, don’t expect everyone to look exactly like you expect them to once they’re out of their clothes. Everyone has flaws. Experiencing them is part of the human condition, and accepting another person’s body is a big part of a successful night of intimacy. Simply said, no one is perfect, so deal with it like a respectful adult.

Care For The Needs Of Your Partner

First-date sex isn’t all about you, and the more attention you give your partner the better. Communication may be verbal, if you’re lucky, or with body language, which can be a little harder to figure out with individuals but usually not impossible. When in doubt, a sensitive question now and then will go a long way into making an evening that is pleasing for both of you.

Afterward

When consent and mutual respect exist, the afterward part of having sex on your first date can be a comfortable time for both of you. You’ll both know what the deal is, and if someone has to leave right away, or wants to stick around, it won’t turn into an awkward situation. It’s a good time for reflection, and to consider how you can improve things the next time – and if there will be a next time.

The afterward-time matters a lot if you want to continue the relationship and maintain dignity and self-respect. A gentlemanly afterward can reduce your chance of being ghosted.

Respect Privacy

What happens between you and your partner should stay between you and your partner. Sharing details or discussing intimate details about your date with third parties is disrespectful and a breach of trust. It’s a sure sign you made a mistake if nothing else, and you may want to rethink any possibility of repeating that mistake in the future.

First Date Sex - Fun But Not Guaranteed

First dates can be dynamic situations that can change without notice, so keep your options open. Even if you think you know someone from communicating on the phone or a singles blog, for example, things can change in a heartbeat. Be ready for change and embrace it.

If things don’t go to your liking, then understand that you haven’t wasted your time if you don’t get sex on your first date. Your experience has increased, and your reputation, too – if you remain a gentleman.

There are many benefits to first dates that don’t end in sex. And some of those benefits may bring you closer to having sex on your next date than you may realize, like making a good friend. So smile, get on with life, and enjoy looking forward to your next romantic encounter, which may happen sooner than you think.