So, happiness.  It's the goal that everyone says they're striving for, right?

"What's your goal in life?"

"To be happy."

The problem is, Happiness doesn't exactly exist.  Not really.  Not the way we think about it.  The Utopia we think of when referring to happiness isn't there.  Happiness is not a destination.  Happiness is a journey.

Happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a journey.
Click To Tweet

What people mean when they say they want to be happy is that they want to enjoy their pursuit of happiness.  Because it's a rule of life that once you achieve something or get something, you always want more.

And this isn't always a bad thing.

It keeps us striving to be better, to be more, to improve ourselves.  It's what causes people to educate themselves, to volunteer, to work jobs that don't pay super well in order to feel fulfilled.  And as a society, these things are important.

However, a lot of us confuse happiness with things.  Here, the waters get a little murkier.  Things, you see, are not happiness.  They are not fulfilling.  And at the end of the day, they may contribute to your happiness, but they will not make you "happy."

For example, I wanted a house.

I wanted to be a homeowner.  So once I won Wheel of Fortune (true story), this became a real possibility.  And we bought that house and I love it.

But I also think, "What if I had taken that Money and channeled it into my acting career instead?" "What if I had taken the year off the launch the blog and see if I could get it to a place where I could support myself?"So you see, the goal was achieved, and I am happy... but there are always doubts.  And there is always something more.  Now I need furniture.  And décor.  And to clean all the time.  So the Utopia, once again, doesn’t exist...exactly.

It also happens for me when I lose weight.

Even when I was 20 pounds lighter, it was never enough. "Just five more and I'll be perfect." That's a problem with our society and not necessarily our psyches.  Some days I feel amazing.  Other days I think I'll never be happy or successful because I don't look like Angelina Jolie.

But it's okay to have these thoughts. Everyone does. And if you say you don't, well, you're lying.  However, there are some amazing tips and tricks you can follow to strive towards personal happiness.

And news flash: the first step is gratitude.  We want so much, we forget what we have.  It's why I try to write in a gratitude journal every day.  I, personally, find it so easy to lose sight of the things in my life that I'm truly grateful for.  I'm hoping that one day, I won't have to complete an exercise and I'll be able to just feel grateful all the time.

There are also mental blocks that sabotage our happiness, and I'll go through a few of them.

"Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Oh, boy, is it ever.  I have such a hard time with this one.  It's only natural that we compare ourselves to others.  Why does she get to be successful and I don't? Why haven't I achieved that yet? Why don't I have a perfect nose?

Yeah.  It happens all the time.  But the trick is, and I remind myself of this all the time, to  stay in your own lane.  Whenever I find myself thinking those thoughts, I call this mantra up. And then I try to look at all that I've accomplished instead of what I haven't.  College was f*cking hard for me emotionally, but I made it through.  Moving to LA was so, so, so, so scary.  But I'm here. Every day is one more thing that I wasn't sure I'd ever achieve.  What are those things for you?

Don't sweat the small stuff. – That one book

For real.  Don't worry so much about the little things.  Again, I super struggle with this sh*t.  Oh my god, I said "Hi" weird to that one person and they looked at me funny and now they hate me and now I self destruct for the rest of the day.  Yep.  There's that old anxiety creeping back in.

But if you try to let that stuff go and just remember that everyone is dealing with their own stuff, you'll realize that that person probably didn't think you were weird.  They probably didn't even clock the vibe that you thought was there.  They were thinking about the D they got on that paper or how they got yelled at by their boss or the fight they had with their husband.  Don't hold onto that stuff.  It'll make you insane.

Don't sweat the small stuff. – That one book
Click To Tweet

Money can't buy happiness.

Um, are you sure? 'Cuz it can buy me a Mercedes and that looks kinda like happiness ;).  Here's the "stuff" versus "happiness" argument again.  And no, money can't buy happiness, but I do have to concede that life is a hell of a lot easier with it than without it.  Am I happier when I'm not worrying about bills? Absolutely.  But once you get money you increase your cost of living because you level up, or you spend it too quickly like the lottery winners do in those "curse of the lottery" shows.

(P.S. Curse of the lottery is not a thing.  Poor money management is. They need to set people up with a good, reputable financial planner. And maybe they do.  But you can't force people to listen.  It's complicated.)

And no, money isn't everything. It cannot make you happy. So if that's what you feel is lacking in your life, again, focus on what you do have.  You can always make more money.  And spending that money on experiences and not things makes life a little richer.

"If you look for perfection, you'll never be content." – Leo Tolstoy

So, there's a reason that the saying is "Nobody's perfect." It's true.  Nobody. If someone were perfect, it would be like, "Nobody's perfect.  Well, except for Joe. That dude has it figured out. But the rest of us are screwed." See? It doesn't quite trip off the tongue.

I am guilty of trying to be perfect.  The constant tweaking of my blog and every post in it is a great example.  Nothing ever quite seems finished to me.  But the reality is, like happiness, there is no such thing as "perfection." There is the pursuit, but perfect doesn't exist.  So don’t beat yourself up, it's impossible. There is no perfect job. There is no perfect body.  There is no perfect person.

There is the pursuit, but perfect doesn't exist. So don’t beat yourself up, it's impossible. There is no perfect job. There is no perfect body. There is no perfect person.
Click To Tweet

Do your best, be grateful for what you've got, and the rest will fall into place.

"I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea." – Carrie Bradshaw

Really? Carrie Bradshaw said that?! I guess she did impart some wisdom.  Anyway, the point here is that you cannot and should not try to please everyone.  You will fail. And you will not like yourself.  Be you, do your thing, live your life and don't worry about what your parents, your friends, your peers think.  I mean, don't be an a**hole about it, but you know what I mean.  Don't let trying to please everyone mess up your happiness.

Tips for living a happier and more peaceful life.

1. Stop trying to please everyone. You can't. Don't.
2. Declutter. Decluttering is one of my favorite solutions for many, many psychological turmoils.  And I firmly believe in the theory that if you make room for something in your life, your energy will attract it.
3. Do yoga and/or meditate. This works.  Commit to one minute a day of meditation and work up if you like it.  If you don't like yoga, go for a walk. Look inward and find your contentment.
4. Don't compare yourself. To celebrities.  To your friends.  To your peers. The grass is always greener in someone else's yard.  Someone thinks your grass is pretty great, too.
5. Practice gratitude. Count your blessings.  If you're reading this, you're probably better off than a lot of people in the world.  Appreciate that. 
6. Go after what you want. Do what makes you happy.
7. Challenge your negative thoughts. Are you really all those names you're calling yourself? Be kind.  Let yourself have the thoughts, but find ways to let them go. There's a fragile kid inside you. Treat her with love.
8. Stop striving for perfection. You don't have to stop trying.  But stop trying to be perfect. It doesn't exist.
9. Forgive others. They say holding onto resentment and grudges is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  Don't drink the poison.  Pour it out and have a glass of wine.
10. Spend time with people who you love, who love you, and who make you happy.

Find your bliss, kids.  Much love.