Thailand’s Most Horrifying and/or Humorous Headlines – March 2017

This month’s installment of News of the Weird deals with what is fair and what is not fair. And this being Asia, what’s fair punishment if you have family connections is completely different to what you’ll be given as a normal person. Take for instance the case of Vorayuth Yoovidhya, an heir to Thailand’s Red Bull energy-drink fortune. In an article published some years ago in The New Yorker, they map out a case of hit-and-run that is pretty open-and-shut. And it fucking is… no one within these borders thinks differently. Wanna know what happened? Early on a Monday morning in September, 2012, Vorayuth Yoovidhya “allegedly” sped down a Bangkok street in his silver Ferrari and crashed into a police officer on motorcycle patrol. The police officer died at the scene, but this rich kid did not stop. He drove his battered sports car home, police said, dragging the officer’s body some distance along the way. Amazingly, the case has yet to be resolved, and the dude is still walking around “free”. He also keeps failing to show up for his prosecution hearings. After killing a cop fer fook sake! And outrage is growing. This week all the newspapers are reporting how this “princeling” is still running around living guilt-free. It’s a nauseating read, but worth the effort.

BTW, Forbes estimates the Yoovidhya family’s net worth is about $9.7 billion, making them Thailand’s fourth-richest family. And these ultra-rich Thais consider themselves exempt from the nation’s laws. But what about everyone else?

# 1 : Does the time fit the crime?

In an article in The Bangkok Post the case against former actress and model Chatchaya Cuesta Ramos—better known as Yuyee—who is serving a 15-year sentence for smuggling cocaine into the country, is still ongoing. How much blow, you ask, did she get caught with? Oh, just about 251 milligrams. But Thailand’s Article 68 of the law states that people who import or export morphine are subject to imprisonment of 20 years to life. Well that doesn’t seem fair compared to Mr Red Bull does it?

# 2 : Rhino horn smugglers had police escort at airport

In an article on the Khaosod English website it was revealed that two women smuggling illegal rhino horns through the airport in Bangkok may have actually had police escorts. The women, one arriving from Vietnam and another from Cambodia, attempted to breeze through a customs checkpoint at the airport with smuggled rhino horns in their luggage. Security camera footage also showed the pair were escorted by two policemen who tried to convince the customs agent to let them pass without being searched. Customs refused, and soon discovered the bags contained nearly 50 kilograms of illegal horns, the largest haul in years. But wait… that ain’t all. The two policemen were placed under investigation, though their supervisor maintains they were uninvolved in the crime and only there to “provide convenience” to the well-connected pair. WTF? Is that even a cop’s job? But it gets better. According to the news item “the two suspects, Thitirat Arai and Kansinee Anutranusart, managed to slip away while officials were inspecting their luggage, and remain at large.” How do you bloody well “slip away” at an airport? This just stinks!

# 3 : Forestry official posts photos of endangered animals he killed

According to a report on Coconuts Bangkok, a Thai forestry official was fired for allegedly killing endangered animals and posting photos of their carcasses on Facebook. He also invited his friends to eat the animals (WTF!). The department will investigate whether the animals were shot with a gun or killed by other animals (as the official claims), and a conclusion is expected at the end of the month. OMB… is this even close to being fair? This guy gets “sacked” when he should get “smacked”. Lord ‘elp us, and lord ‘elp the animals too.

# 4 : All’s fair in love and war (and porn)

According to a report on Asiajack News, the former Thai porn star Nong Nat, who married an elderly American millionaire, is getting divorced and having a boob job in order to make a comeback in the adult industry. The 31 year old Asian beauty quit X-rated movies and converted to Buddhism, crediting meditation and good deeds for her landing rich husband Harold Nesland, 72, in 2012. But after pulling the plug on their marriage, this devilish D-Cup made a splash recently with a ‘sexy shower’ clip and the announcement she will undergo a boob operation to boost her “options”. When asked if the split was amicable she is reported to have said, “Me and Harold are separated now. He doesn’t want a divorce but I’ll start the proceedings.” Wow… life can even be unfair to millionaires (but billionaires seem to be still pretty safe).

# 5 : Naked lady runs through streets, get slap on wrist

As reported by Coconuts Bangkok, downtown cops in Bangkok definitely stopped their dozing on March 14th when they received reports of a naked foreigner running around the streets of the capital, close to Khao San Road. The modern-day Lady Godiva, eventually identified as 35-year-old Leonie Graves, jogged across the Pinklao Bridge and police gave chase. She was eventually caught, and Capt. Jirachotiwat Klaiklueng said his department calmed the woman down, gave her some water, and sent her back to her accommodation. No charges were pressed. He added that the tourist later apologized for what she did and said “the weather was so hot.” OK everybody, now you know what to say to beat the rap!

# 6 : Is it really that hot in Thailand?

If you’ve just read item #5 and you’re wondering just how the fuck hot does it have to be for people to go berserk in the streets, consider this: Jordan Coe, 19, died on March 26th in the Thai province of Nakhon Ratchasima, where he was training for an upcoming Muay Thai fight. It’s believed that the Scottish boxer most likely died of heatstroke and extreme dehydration that was blamed on him training in a sweat suit to try to lose weight for a match later that day. A full autopsy is to be carried out soon. So sad and… unfair!

# 7 : So how does the law work in this country?

Finally, over to Vice Magazine for a tale of sweat soaked suspense in the streets of Bangkok as a young New Zealand lad gets arrested for drug possession. Will he escape?… Can he bribe his way out? Actually, after reading this story I’d say yeah, what happens in this narrative is pretty much Thailand’s legal system in a nutshell.

Do click on the above link and give it a read. But don’t let this tale, or any of these horrifying headlines, stop you from visiting Thailand. If nothing else, you may return to your own home country with a new appreciation of laws and how to follow them.