When it comes to sex, bad sex is hopefully not a thing that too many of us encounter often, but there is an incredibly fine line between great sex and downright, flat-out awful sex. The one degree of separation is very real my friends.
A little tipsy vs alotta drunk
When you’re just a little drunk, your inhibitions are lowered just enough that neither of you are even slightly worried about your vodka and cigarette breath. You’re horny andeverything is fucking sexy.
When you’re alotta drunk… well, let’s just say it’s a little sloppy and you may or not be able to get through it all before one of you passes out or runs to the bathroom ready to vomit from all the bouncing up and down (this is an actual thing that happens. smh).
Angry sex vs ANGRY sex
Sex right after a huge fight is hot. You love each other but you hate each other. There’s no foreplay or teasing, it’s just rough, I want to fuck your brains out, you asshole, kind of banging.
Sex after a huge fight when you’re legitimately mad and disgusted by the person can be dangerous. It’s less about getting yourself off and more about causing them physical pain. Not to mention you still can’t stand them after the blood, sweat, and cum is spilled.
Whipped cream vs Caramel syrup
It’s kinky and fluffy and can easily be licked off of any body part. Like who doesn’t want to lick a big dollop of whipped cream off of their man's shaft?
Caramel syrup, on the other hand, can be super hot but super fucking sticky. Your tongue has to be seriously dedicated to licking every drop of that off of your partner and a shower right afterwards would be highly advised. It just sounds like more of a mess than it’s worth if you ask me.
The Wifi isn’t working vs The AC isn’t working
The Wifi being down early on a weeknight means no Netflix or HBO or Amazon video access for you and your boo. What’s the next best way to kill time… without yo clothes on?
The AC not working is a little different story. Sure it’ll probably be hot and sweaty and sexy for the first five minutes, but trust me, it’ll only take so long before you’re slipping around on top of each other and one of you is about to pass out from heat stroke. You’re probably better off watching Netflix in this case and keeping your body temperature down.
Bathtub sex vs Shower sex
Bathtub sex is soapy, sexy fun for everyone. You may not be able to quite get the motion or rhythm that you desire, but it’s more about the experience of doing it in a tub of bubbles anyway.
It’s no secret that shower sex is a pain in the fucking ass… and not even in a good way (if that’s a thing). It’s clumsy, slippery and awkward even for the best of us. There’s really not much that’s sexy about it at all actually.
Having 3 amazing orgasms vs Having 3 almost amazing orgasms
Women are amazing creatures with the ability to have orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. If you’re the lucky partner that can accomplish the task of multiple, incredible orgasms in one session then you are far and few between and seriously deserve like a fucking medal or something. Like literally a fucking medal.
However, there is literally nothing worse than being riiight on the brink of an incredible orgasm multiple times. You’re so damn close and yet so damn far. Your partner can’t for the fucking life of them seem to do it right for just two seconds longer to push you over the edge, so you're left with your clit throbbing, a frustrated mess.
