When it comes to the genders, it’s usually safe to say that men are physically stronger than women. But if that’s true, when it come to Bedroom ideas, why are some men intimidating by their female counterparts? It’s true, ladies: while menseem to run the show in so many aspects of life, the bedroom is one domain, where if we play our cards right, we can be the absolute, unequivocal and unrelenting boss.

Women dominating men in the bedroom is nothing new, as the fairer gender has been relying on its wiles for eons to render men weak. Some statistics have shown that for 40% of men, even those with the toughest exteriors, their deepest and darkest fears reside in the bedroom. But here may be variables that have very little to do with us women, which might point to men’s fears that arise (ahem…pun intended) in the bedroom. So just what are they afraid of? Dr. Muhammad A. Mirza, general health practitioner, men’s health expert and founder of erectiledoctor.com, sheds some light on these hidden fears that creep into men’s minds when it comes to bedroom ideas:

1. Performance AnxietyNothing is more embarrassing for a man than not being able to “get it up” in the bedroom. Dr. Mirza states that erectile dysfunction can be linked to psychological fear. “I’ve seen a lot of cases were men mentally scare themselves before sexual encounters, just as how they would with any other nerve wrenching experience,” said Mirza. “Take deep breaths, tell yourself ‘I can do it’ and dive in with confidence.”

2. Premature ClimaxNo one wants a good time to come to an end, especially not in the bedroom. Premature ejaculation is a problem that haunts a lot of men. Mirza suggests increasing exercise in the groin, arm, quad, calves and abdominal muscles as a way of controlling premature orgasm.

3. Birth Control FailureNo one needs to worry about unwanted pregnancy in the midst of an amorous encounter, yet many men are preoccupied with Birth Control failure. Using condoms with heavier and thicker material decreases the risk of the condom breaking. Men can also discuss with their partner about using a second form of birth control.

4. Sex toys. They may seem like a good idea, but plenty of men are threatened by women’s sex toys, maybe because they make them feel redundant. So before you bring out Mr. Rabbit and the Screaming O rings, make sure that you get his buy-in, too.

5. BDSM. Sure, it’s fine for porn and 50 Shades of Grey, but when push comes to shove (again, pun fully intended), some men just aren’t ready for blindfolds, handcuffs, whips and the whole notion of women dominating men. So knowing they’re partner longs to try these things may increase their anxiety and intimidation.