Most girls are afraid of having sex for the first time and it is intimidating thinking about the penetration of their vagina and the breaking of the hymen by a Penis. First timers, including me are not anxious about getting pregnant as a result of loosing virginity but rather scared of contracting some some sex related disease. In my case it is mainly because of improper sex education because I was in a protected catholic environment. In fact sex is not something that cannot be controlled by family morals or virtues, nor by education, it is about love, emotion and feelings.  These personal emotions will generally cast previous teachings and indoctrination aside. Actually sex is something that you believe will take you closer to that special person and make you feel good, closer – especially after. So if your concern is about contracting an STD or getting pregnant then you should plan it, making it safe with available contraceptive measures taking away some of the pressure and concern felt..

In fact you should enjoy sex without any fear especially if it is the first time for you – as this should be special.

When to have sex?

It doesn’t matter what time of day or night, this is insignificant in the process.  What matters is the Comfortable feeling between both the partners before, during and after sexual activity. Whether you have sex at night, at the break of dawn or in the afternoon, you can enjoy it  making sure that you allow plenty of time so as to avoid a rushed or stressful condition. The first time you should give yourself enough time to enjoy it the act and also for a romantic cuddle after.

What to drink or eat before sex?

The first tip when doing it for the first time is to avoid alcohol or drugs.  Second avoid having a heavy meal before or having spicy foods (especially containing garlic).  You want to be feeling your best physically and we all know that after a heavy meal weight consciousness comes to the fore as well as the feeling that you want to have a nap.  Excessive drinking, especially if your partner is a man, can effect sexual performance and confront you with a ‘limp dick’ that is a real turn off. Both of you want to be at your best for the first time.

Where to have sex?

The first time should be special and romantic.  It does not have to be a 5 star hotel but it sure would help!  Finding a location where you have privacy and can relax before and after.  Having access to a shower or bath is also a plus as the first time can get a little messy.  Having access to clean towels, a comfortable place to lie down, where you can add mood music and get the temperature right.  Somewhere that you will feel safe, comfortable and allow you to free your emotions.

My personal advice is to avoid some outdoor location or in your car as they are very inconvenient and provide lesser privacy. It will be better if you have a private room with a comfortable bed as it is the best place to enjoy sex comfortably, whether it is your fist time or not. It will allow you to enjoy foreplay more as well as the intercourse in a private, safe and convenient environment.

What shall we bring for having safe sex?

Safe first time sex you should bring everything that makes you comfortable, be it a pack of condoms, birth control pills, your bathrobe or your favorite pillow. The main thing that matters at this point is that you should feel comfortable without any fear.  Then you can bring all the things that will add to the experience.  Massage oil, personal lubricant (very important), scented candles, chill music, incense, sex toy – anything and everything that you think will enhance the experience..

What should I do at first?

Take it slow!!!  If it is your first time you should tell your partner.  Discuss with him what you want him or her to do, explain that you are nervous, plenty of foreplay both ways.  Let your partner know what is not acceptable and if you want them to stop – they will stop. Then you can take some initiative to tell or show him how he/her can make you feel more comfortable by holding, hugging and kissing.  Massage is great especially when it is their first time too. If it is your partners first time and he is a male often his penis may not respond as per your expectations as he will be nervous as well. Often men are more scared of loosing how they will perform when loosing their virginity than you.  So you should move on patiently, slowly and gently as both of you have to understand each other’s situation and work towards the best way to to achieve your goal. Such things may take some time!

Will it hurt?

The first time a penis enters a virgin vagina it may hurt somewhat.  Discomfort level varies from person to person but if your partner is gentle your body may not experience any pain at all. Your partner and you should take time and use plenty of foreplay to arouse you by using his fingers, or a sex toy and lubricant. This will gradually release the tension and allow you to relax and the breaking of the hyman will be just a little snap feeling and you will enjoy sex without any problems. You should also tell him when it is hurting and when it is feeling good so that he can adjust his moves accordingly.

What position should be used by me?

Each person is different so during foreplay find the position that feels most comfortable to you.  Many women prefer top position to have sex for the first time as they are in control of the penis entering into their vagina. Other women prefer the control with their partner so they prefer bottom position (missionary) in this situation. So you can choose the best position for you but do not forget to tell your partner to take his time, use lubricant and go slow so that both of you can enjoy that special moment.

What if the penis is too big? What should be the right shape and size of the penis?

The most common issue for first timers in a sexual activity is the size of the penis. When an erected penis is over 5 ” in length then it is considered as an average penis as well as suitable for hitting the G-spot.  However for a woman that has never had a penis inside her 5 inches seems awfully big.  Do not despair as the vagina is a naturally stretchable structure and can accommodate all sizes of penises. Remember that babies come out of there.   It is not the size that counts but the ability of your lover for sexual satisfaction.  Even the shape of the penis sometimes is a concern as some men may have downward bending penis whereas some have sideways or upwards bending penis.  In fact, penises come in all shapes and sizes that are all okay during sexual intercourse as the vagina as well as penis can adjust. Depending on the shape different sexual positions may be better for performance.

Keeping these tips in mind you can easily enjoy your sex for the first time. In fact you should approach your first sexual intercourse with an open mind, without any fear or pressure.